Film rating: 4.5/5
Walkouts: 2/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 3/5
BPM sighting: No

Screenwriter Anders Thomas Jensen and director Susanne Bier’s (a reformed Dogme disciple of what Village Voice calls “emotional disaster movies”) gut-wrenching drama looks at the emotional implosion that occurs when the lives of an altruistic aid worker and an arrogant billionaire collide.

Jacob (Mads Mikkelsen, Exit in this year’s MIFF) runs an orphanage in India. When it is threatened with closure, he receives a generous offer from Jorgen, a Danish benefactor, on condition that Jacob fly to Copenhagen for a personal meeting and the wedding of his daughter. What unravels after these events is a series of secrets and subterfuge of near biblical proportions.

A very satisfying film to conclude my MIFF ‘07 campaign. I’ve got to say that I’m a huge fan of Mads Mikkelsen, starting with his blistering performance in 1996’s Pusher, and he was excellent in After The Wedding.

This film’s script was orginal and tight, the cinematography atmospheric in that beautiful Danish Dogme style, the performances watertight, and the direction inspired.

Apparently this is scheduled for a general release so go see it!

Film rating: 1.5/5
Walkouts: 1/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 1/5
BPM sighting: No

Swiss musicians Koch-Schütz-Studer turn a 30-day music marathon into a cinematic piece of chamber music.

Their album, Hardcore Chambermusic, is a music publishing phenomena that has taken Switzerland by storm. This documentary gives audiences an insight into the artists at work during an epic month of music making.

Koch-Schütz-Studer sampled and compressed hundreds of pieces of music from sources as diverse as Bartók and Berio to Public Enemy and Bob Marley in order to create something revolutionary and altogether new – hardcore chambermusic.

This documentary had heaps of potential but the fimmakers completely failed to deliver. A serious film that seemed to be crying out for a spoof — kind of like an improvised jazz version of Spinal Tap. Scenes of the jazz drummer making music with a bowl of water and his hands, or of the saxophonist making animal calls through his instrument, were both hilarious and intriguing at the same time.

The long scenes of minimalist improvised music using long, monotonous close-up shots of musical instruments were trying. However, I was quite engaged with the characters (self-indulgent but likeable) and was really keen to see how they felt at the end of their 30 day odyssey. So I sat through the overlong 80 minutes only to have the credits roll during footage of the final day’s concert without a hint of an interview with the musicians or even a reaction shot after the final note had been played!

Bloody frustrating and unsatisfying.

Film rating: 2/5
Walkouts: 2/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 2/5
BPM sighting: No

Eve and Damien are passionately in love. Together, they run an unusual café called The Zoo where they host an annual contest for the best animal noise.

After an accident, a gulf of silence slowly comes between them. Eve communicates in gestures and no longer speaks aloud. Damien can’t express his desires anymore. When their relationship is on the verge of suffocation, Eve takes drastic action.

Desperate to hang onto Damien, Eve makes him her prisoner, caged – like her – against his will. From here unfolds a story in which suspense (and desire) are driven by physical compulsions and sexual predation.

A bold statement on the nature of love.

Metaphor stacked upon metaphor stacked upon metaphor, but overdone and a bit confused. The love story became saccharine and the plot just implausible enough to be annoying. Worth watching purely for the surreal and hilarious animal imitation competition scenes.

Film rating: 4/5
Walkouts: 0/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 4/5
BPM sighting: No

“Here comes a film. It’s a comedy and harmless.” – Lars von Trier

When the owner of an IT company decides to sell up, he’s forced to wheel out the CEO to seal the deal. The only problem is the CEO was his creation, invented to take the blame for unpopular decisions. Enter Kristoffer, an out of work actor hired to play the part, who unwittingly and increasingly becomes entrenched in the devious charade.

The Boss of It All is a departure for von Trier, known for his dire subject matter in films such as Breaking the Waves and Dancer in the Dark, and filmed using von Trier’s own invention, Automavision, which completely randomises the camera angles and shots using a computer program. (Note: Automavision takes all the credit for the film’s cinematography).

I’m a bit of a closet Dogme fan and haven’t seen any of Von Trier’s non-Dogme films so I simply had to go along and check out this “Automavision” caper. I wasn’t expecting much and was pleasantly surprised by The Boss Of It All. The random camera technique didn’t add anything to the film but it didn’t distract either. The casual approach to this harmless comedy was a nice change from Hollywood’s over-seriousness in that genre. Had a few great big belly laughs and walked away with a smile on my face. The only negative I can think of is the slightly drawn out conclusion, although it ends on a note of comedy brilliance.

This is a definitely one to watch out for on SBS or find at the video shop.

Film rating: 0.5/5
Walkouts: 2/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 0/5
BPM sighting: No

A gentle samurai on a mission to take revenge on his father’s death. To kill or not to kill — that is the question.

Hirokazu Kore-eda’s most recent release — and his first period film — is a decidedly unconventional samurai film. It follows an inept warrior, unable to avenge his father’s killing, but soon awakened to his actual calling in life.

Kore-eda admits this film is his response to the climate of revenge overwhelming the world since the September 11 attacks. “Vivacious and strewn with humour, Hana speaks the language of today and conveys a message of hope and serenity that crosses the boundaries of its temporal setting.”– Toronto Film Festival

I’m not the walking out of films kind of guy. In fact, I’ve only ever walked out of one before (Last Days — shit served in shit sauce). But last night I came close to walking out of film number two. Hana was a Japanese mass-market slapstick-samauri film, trying to be serious, with a soundtrack straight from a 1970s BBC production of Robin Hood. Realistic editing could’ve reduce its bloated 127 minute duration to around the 80 minute mark. Bloody hell, it was drawn out.

And even if it was 80 minutes it would still be hard viewing. Trite, predictable and unoriginal. Viewers’ laughter was incredibly forced and I’m sure it occurred only to keep them awake. Just because it’s got subtitles doesn’t mean it’s good.

Dog.

Film rating: 4/5
Walkouts: 3/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 0/5
BPM sighting: Yes

What is a hormonal teen in the middle of small-town Patagonia to do?

Informed by director Alexis Dos Santos’ own youth, the energetic and sensual Glue represents the emergence of another exciting, new Argentinian filmmaker.

The focus of the film is a budding singer/songwriter, the skinny and androgynous 16-year-old Lucas. His best friend is drummer Nacho: Quieter, better-looking, more jock-like. The pair are very close. Unsurprisingly, sex is uppermost in their minds and Lucas’ inchoate attraction to Nacho fuels the kinds of prankish games beloved by teens worldwide.

Awkwardness and sexual confusion have been seen before in the context of growing up but Dos Santos goes beyond the norm, introducing an engaging element of subjectivity.

An organic and raw picture of adolescence, both specific and universal.

This film’s audience was weird. Bicycle Pump Man was there; his new best friend, Bum Bag Man (gaudy jumpers and black leather bum bag worn at the front) was there; and a whole bunch of people who must’ve been film festival virgins were there.

I thought the film was quite good (4/5 is a high score for me) but there was a determined stream of walkouts from about the halfway point of the movie. The two middle aged salarymen sitting behind me gave a top-of-voice running commentary during the film (”I don’t get it”, “When’s something going to happen?”, “The picture’s funny”) and announced their film review to the whole cinema as soon as the credits rolled (”What a wank! I could’ve made that!”) I nearly turned around and offered them a camera.

But back to the film. This was a gentle and realistic character study of youth in rural Argentina. Brilliantly acted and with atmospheric cinematography I was strongly drawn into the story. Shot on video, at first the high contrast and crushed blacks pissed me off but I quickly adapted to the style and found it added to the presentation. The handheld camera and long, unedited shots pushed the superb acting to the fore and helped the audience form a personal connection with the characters.

The film had its flaws but overall it was a highly satisfying cinema experience, despite the rest of the people in the Greater Union theatre who must’ve bought tickets for Transformers but got lost after having their tickets checked.

Film rating: 2/5
Walkouts: 0/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 0/5
BPM sighting: No

“It is porn, yes, but of the most noble kind.” – Rotterdam Film Festival

The “maestro of pulse-quickening simulated sex” – according to Variety – Jean-Claude Brisseau (Secret Things) continues his cinematic thesis on how women get what they want both in and out of bed.

This film, about a trusting French director who lands in hot water after taping some saucy auditions, also mirrors Brisseau’s real-life court drama when four actresses who missed out on roles in Secret Things accused him of sexual abuse – the case was acquitted.

Exterminating Angels is for audiences who like their eroticism with lashings of intellectual rigour. “It has more in common with the honourable French literary pornographic tradition of Restif de La Bretonne and Marquis de Sade than with contemporary video pornography.” – Rotterdam Film Festival

“Lashings of intellectual rigour”? Please. This fillum was okay but certainly not the intellectually rigorous investigation of sexuality that as promised. The storyline was confused and seemed, at times, to be little more than padding for another steamy scene. The guy sitting next to me certainly seemed to enjoy those parts of the film.

Bleh. Whatever.

Film rating: 2.5/5
Walkouts: 1/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 0/5
BPM sighting: Yes

Grubby, violent and propulsively energetic, Ex Drummer is blacker than Trainspotting and bleaker than L’Enfant (The Child).

A gang of Flemish lowlifes are in a wannabe rock band. One of them has a lisp, one is deaf, the other has a bung arm – and they’re in desperate need of a drummer. They find him in the form of Dries, a former drummer turned successful author who accepts their invitation as a conceited experiment in class-swapping.

As Dries steps outside his own happiness to sample the coarser world of The Feminists, he pushes them deep into the filth of their own depravity.

A stylish study of how modern civilisation breeds vulgarity in every class.

A classic film festival-style film to kick off my MIFF effort this year: a couple of violent bashings, two rapes (M-F and M-M), a giant schlong (later cut off), a vagina large enough for two men to walk through, and explicit sex scenes. What more could you ask for?

The main theme in this film (explained above) was laid bare and was filthy and confronting. The lead character was both a compelling and repulsive kind of guy. The other band members and associated characters were gritty and realistic. The visual style (very Danish/ Dogme-ish) was extremely effective in making the viewer feel like they were at a certain distance from the action observing objectively.

However, the film did get confused at time and it took detours from the storyline that may have made sense in the book from which the screenplay was adapted but didn’t quite work on screen.

Don’t take your mum to see this film.

The Melbourne International Film Festival kicked off last night and my first film of 13 is tonight. As in previous years GrodsCorp will review each film viewed while providing crucial updates on Bicycle Pump Man sightings (I might even see if I can get a photo this year.)

Recent convert to blogging, Jim Schembri, on the other hand, is too lazy to blog about his MIFF experiences so he is asking his reader(s) to do the work:

CineTopia would like to hear your comments about anything you see - and we mean anything. The strength of any film festival such as MIFF is that it allows you to see things you might not see otherwise, or may ever see again.

So while comments on films that will get a commercial release are welcome, CineTopia is particularly interested in those hidden gems residing in the distant corners of the program that most people never get to hear about. Certain films that warrant special attention will get a separate page.

If you wish to submit a review to CineTopia, there are just a few basic grounds rules to observe:

(1) Please put the film’s name in caps;

(2) Keep your pieces to a max of around 200 words;

(3) Don’t be backwards about coming forward - but, please, no blurting. Sentences, punctuation and grammar are still very much in favour, even on the ethernet.

First he trashes blogging, then he starts blogging, then he gets other people to do his blogging for him. Does Schembri have no shame?