Remember how “homosexual activists” think that gay penguins prove that Teh Gey is natural, while fundamentalist Christians think that a gay penguin dropping his boyfriend to go out with a girl penguin proves that “nature prefers heterosexual relationships”? Well, this poster on the side of a Melbourne bus stop (complete with post-modern reflection of suburban decay and photographer’s shadow) shows that we humans can use examples found in nature to prove that anything is natural or preferred.

Nature also prefers bus timetables that bear even a passing resemblance to the actual running times of buses, but apparently the Melbourne bus companies think that nature can go fuck itself.

You know the famous story about gay penguins at San Francisco Zoo? Well, the six year “relationship” is over, with one of the dudes dropping the other dude for a chick.

Fundamentalist Christian news website OneNewsNow cites a “family” campaigner who accuses “homosexual activists” of using such examples of apparent animal homosexuality to “normalize their lifestyle”. Says the campaigner:

It’s pretty pathetic to turn to turn to animals to guide how humans should behave. It’s just ridiculous.

Pathetic indeed. Here’s the OneNewsNow reporter in the first par of the story.

A pro-family advocate says the latest developments at the San Francisco Zoo show that nature prefers heterosexual relationships.

Shit don’t prove shit, unless it’s the shit we want it to prove.

You’re getting ready to leave your base and head out into battle. You quickly run through your checklist to ensure that no vital equipment is left behind.

• Gun
• Bullets
• Pants
• Helmet
• Dog tags
• Photo of partner (unless you and your partner are teh gay)
• Energy bars
• Water bottle
• Chap Stick
• Sunglasses
• Spare bullets
• Hand grenades
• BibleStick

Steve Fielding’s wife has written an article for The Punch.

In the article, Steve (via Susan) trots out all of the lines he’s being spewing into the media recently about looking at both sides of the story, the science not being settled, and pretty graphs presenting arbitrarily-selected data proving something or other (Tobias covers this in more detail over at Pure Poison.) But the most brilliant moment of deluded madness is this:

I briefly met Mr Gore at a breakfast in Melbourne attended by more than a thousand people. He was aware of the important role Family First plays in the senate and was keen to catch up.

After a series of phone calls I was met with a stonewall of resistance. I offered to meet Mr Gore at any place at any time but had no luck. Here we had the former Vice President of the United States, a self proclaimed climate change preacher running away from me over a few simple questions.

Don’t you know who I am? I am the leader of a Party of one that on the basis of 50,000 votes is holding the Upper House of Australia’s Parliament to ransom in a futile effort to get myself re-elected in 2010.

Steve’s just pissed off that he paid for dry cleaning for nothing.

Everything’s topsy-turvey.

One minute you’ve got Steve Fielding urging the prevention of divorce on the grounds that it worsens climate change …

We understand that there is a social problem (with divorce), but now we’re seeing there is also environmental impact as well on the footprint.

… but the next you’ve got Steve Fielding denying that climate change is even occurring.

And one minute you’ve got Tony Abbott flatly opposing gay marriage on the grounds that teh homos are unnatural, but the next you’ve got Tony Abbott resigning himself to gay marriage as long as traditional marriage is strengthened.

… a society that is moving towards some kind of recognition of gay unions, for instance, is surely capable of providing additional recognition to what might be thought of as traditional marriage … Even though [marriage] is probably the most important commitment that any human being can make, in fact there are many, many contracts which are harder to enter and harder to get out of than this one.

A cynic might suggest that these guys trot out any old argument they can find, regardless of whether they believe it, to force their religious beliefs onto others.

Family First Senator Steve Fielding (did you know he trained as an engineer?) has carefully studied both sides of the anthropogenic climate change argument and taken a side.

Family First Senator Steve Fielding has made up his mind on global warming – there’s not enough evidence that it’s real.

If only the AGW model was proposed in a collection of 2000-year-old texts of dubious authorship. That way there would be enough evidence.

In other news, Steve recently started taking the anti-swine flu medication Tamiflu because his sister-in-law contracted the virus. Poor old Steve copped a hard time from cynics who declared it was a stunt, detractors who thought it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, and even his own son who loves a good practical joke.

Steve was forced to write a post on his blog, defending the precautionary use of Tamiflu.

There have been plenty of reports on swine flu coming to Parliament House as though I am some form of carrier pigeon from Victoria. First of all I have no symptoms.

Like everyone else I have been told I am no more likely of contracting swine flu than the average Joe from Melbourne.

The truth of the matter is my sister in law was in quarantine at my family home over the weekend as she was quite ill and had no where else to go.

I have been told by doctors and the parliamentary nurse that I am of little risk of contracting or carrying swine flu.

This whole issue has been blown out of proportion and wasn’t a stunt like was reported in The Australian online.

Reporters at a press conference earlier today suggested I was being selfish by being in Canberra this week.

But given the advice I have received by doctors, telling me I am at no more risk than the average Victorian, I thought it best I go to work given the important climate change legalisation before the Parliament.

I’m currently taking a precautionary course of Tamiflu.

But this is only a precaution.

Commenter Gaz was relieved.

Well, Senator, I hope you manage to avoid swine flu and that if you are infected that the Tamiflu works properly.

Fingers crossed on that one, of course. After all, it was designed by scientists using computer models.

But I do hope you don’t succumb to the virus, otherwise you won’t be able to apologise to the Australian people when the temperature sets new records and you realise how gullible you have been.
Comment by Gaz on 24 June 2009 at 02:59:02 PM

Fielding: pwned.

Thus spake right-wing rag the Daily Tele when reporting on ’Muslim-friendly’ loans being offered by the National Australia Bank. To date it’s been difficult for devout Muslims to buy a home unless they have the full sum, since Islam considers riba (money-lending) to be haraam (forbidden). The NAB is getting around this by trialling new homebuying schemes where the customer makes alternative payment arrangements, different to the usual structure of principle and compounding interest.

Most reasonable people would think this a fair compromise: the customer still pays for their borrowing, the bank still makes their money and everyone is happy. Not the Tele, which reports it under a headline that screams of preferential treatment and reverse-racism. Its reporter also sees fit to avoiding mentioning a pivotal fact until the tail of the article:

The loans would also be available to non-Muslims.

Cue the hysteria in comments,where the great unwashed, ordinarily riled by the thought of mortgage interest, seemed to claim it as some kind of patriotic badge of honour:

You’ve got be bloody kidding me, right? Can’t people just adopt the Aussie way. After all you do live in our country. If you don’t want to work by our rules, then piss off.
Posted by: christine of sydney 8:17am today

You tell ‘em, babe. 

If it hasn’t started already, this is the beginning of the end for this once great country.
Posted by: Ralph Malph of Avalon 10:55am today

It’s all downhill from here, Ralph. Much like after your mate Fonzie ‘jumped the shark’.

Can the bank provide Christian and Buddist loans too? Shows the illusion.
Posted by: piggybank 4:41pm today

A Buddhist loan, gee that’d be good – I could buy a house now and defer payments until my second reincarnation.

Here’s Steve in today’s Australian arguing that one must open their mind to the possibility that popular opinion is wrong.

Only 500 years ago, people believed Earth was the centre of the universe and the sun and planets revolved around it. Anyone who dared challenge this idea was denounced as a heretic and punished by imprisonment, torture or in some cases even death. Public debate on this issue was strictly prohibited. It is only on account of people such as Copernicus and Galileo, who dared question the “indisputable science”, that we now know these assertions to be false. For me, these events are in many ways reminiscent of the present debate on climate change. Though thankfully we do not persecute those arguing against the idea of human-induced global warming, a blind acceptance of only one perspective has meant that proper debate on this issue has essentially been stifled. Opponents of the popular opinion that global warming is a direct result of carbon emissions, a group that includes many notable and distinguished scientists, are often derided and quickly dismissed.

It is for this reason that I headed to Washington this week on a self-funded trip to look at the science and facts behind global warming. I am neither a climate sceptic nor a climate extremist. What I am, however, is open-minded.

As an engineer, I have been trained to listen to both sides of the debate in order to make an informed decision about any issue. Any scientist worth their salt will tell you that in order to form a conclusive view about any topic, you need to properly explore all available possibilities.

I look forward to Steve turning his eagle eye and open mind to the evidence-free faith that informs his decisions to oppose abortion, voluntary euthanasia, gay marriage and the rest of his religious policy platforms.

Reading through Steve Fielding transcripts is heaps of fun. Is there another politician who can mangle a metaphor or cliche quite as effectively as the lone Family First nutter? Check out this one (PDF) from Senate estimates the other day:

CHAIR—Thank you. Are there any further questions on this topic before we go to Senator Fielding for
another issue?

Senator FIELDING—I would like to tap onto that one issue if I can, thank you.

CHAIR—Yes, certainly.

The Chair should’ve said no. You’re not allowed to “tap onto” anything without first giving it a star rating.

Anyway, at a different hearing on the same day Our Steve proposed (PDF) giving crack Federal Police squads the power to raid milk bars that sell pornography.

Senator FIELDING— … Given the seriousness of the breach, have you or the department recommended anywhere that we should have a federal law so that we are not beholden to the states in cracking down on pornography being so readily available in corner shops and milk bars and so that we can get on with it and use the AFP? We can send the federal police into the Northern Territory but we cannot send them in to deal with pornography being sold in milk bars, corner shops and petrol stations. I find that absurd.

Apparently “families” are concerned.

Senator FIELDING— … You are clearly being played here. You are a soft touch and you are saying that the parliament of Australia is soft on this issue. Putting up with the states on this issue is not fair to Australian families, who are clearly concerned about this issue.

Bullshit. The Pentecostal Church is.

But the best bit in that hearing was when the Classification and Review Board dude being questioned gave Fielding a lesson on legislation.

Senator FIELDING—Wrappers are another issue. Who stipulated that wrappers should be placed on these materials?

Mr McDonald—It is in the legislation.

Senator FIELDING—Federal legislation?

Mr McDonald—Yes.

Give it up, Steve.

Oh, Steve Fielding, you wacky dipshit. Malcolm Turnbull and his party of members and Senators elected by primary vote percentages in double figures have thwarted your cunning plan.

The Liberal party’s cave in on the alcopops tax shows that under pressure Turnbull will fold every time, Family First Leader, Senator Steve Fielding said today.

[...]

“The Coalition’s capitulation will be seen by the Government as a green light to ram bad policy through the Senate because it knows the opposition will do anything it can to avoid an early election.”

Unfortunately for Fielding, his continued intention to block the alcopops tax is clearly seen by everyone else as an attempt to force an early election, given that the reduced Senate quota of 7.7% is the bottle-suited one’s only hope (slim as it may be) of re-election.

“Family First has always opposed the alcopops tax because it turns a $15.3 billion binge drinking epidemic into a tax issue and fails to grasp the seriousness of the problem.”

Bullshit.

The Gentle Right like to preach that global warming is “Leftist alarmism” despite the fact it’s based on sound scientific evidence (and why will no-one debate me? Oh, that’s right! I keep winning).

Alarmism obviously isn’t this:

When I grow up I want to be a principal or a caterpillar!

Nothing alarmist about that.

So, I’ve blogged about this before, as has Scott. The proposed Islamic school in Camden, the resulting outpouring of xenophobia and hypocrisy, and the publicity given to this stupid bint. Oh yeah, and bleatings about some fucking cemetary.

Yesterday in the SMH, there was a report about the appeal against council’s decision, with some familiar names, as well as new ones, making some bloody awful bigoted statements. Again. In fact, I was struck by how paranoid these freaks sound. There seems to be a new level of hysteria in their ridiculous statements.

Check them out. From the aforementioned stupid bint, Kate McCulloch:

…said she was “no redneck xenophobic racist like the media have put to me”.

“Let’s start making people understand that the Western way of life is the best way of life,” she said.

Yeah, well, she’s not exactly reaching out to them to make them “understand”. There are so many other things wrong with that statement as well: the “Western way of life” is undefinable, for one. Second, it’s subjectively not the “best way of life” – maybe for her it is but it’s not for everyone. Third, many Muslims live in the West. So what? I really don’t get her at all.

Moving on.

Judith Bond said the school would teach war and how to kill.

“Values of violence will be emphasised. It will be a breeding ground for terrorists … There will be a surge of gang rapes, looting and attacking infidels,” Ms Bond said.

I don’t even need to comment on this. Its utter stupidity and offensiveness speaks for itself.

Next.

The area’s Christian values were threatened by the proposal, said another resident, John Waterhouse, who warned Christmas decorations and nativity scenes would be “pulled down or withdrawn on some sort of process of religious nit-picking”.

Describing Camden as “the mouse that dared to roar”, he said he did not want prayer mats unrolled in shops or “[our] teenage daughters subjected to demeaning taunts wearing jeans, shorts or T-shirts”.

I really don’t know where to start with this one… Or maybe I’m just feeling sicker and sicker with the blatant bigotry and ignorance.

But on the opening day of the appeal to the Land and Environment Court on Tuesday, council’s barrister, Craig Leggat, SC, opened his evidence with a letter signed by a group of the region’s Christian leaders, who said Islam was an ideology with a plan for world domination.

Hang on, I thought traditionally it was the Jews who were planning world domination? Has anyone notified ZOG about this?

Come on, Camden. You can be better than this.

Fresh from pathetically trying to flex his unrepresentative muscle in the Senate, in the process scuttling legislation that would likely go towards achieving the stated goals of his Party (sic), Steve Fielding wakes up the morning after the night before.

I’ve just been reading this article in the New York Times about this precocious little darling:

Meet Jonathan Krohn, a 14-year old “news media darling and the conservative movement’s underage graybeard at last weekend’s Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington.” Check out his over-eager and corporatised performance at CPAC last week.

As I was reading this article, the most obvious thing to jump out was just how small Jonathan’s world is, even at 14 years of age. It appears his life is limited to a Christian-based viewpoint: home-schooling by his parents (his Jewish mother became a Baptist decades ago), attending a middle-school for five hours a week with only 10 other students where classes are taught from a Christian perspective, and an “acting career” performing in Christian Youth Theater plays and regional shows. He has also earned money from writing and performing on a syndicated radio Bible show for children. He and his family are active members of Peachtree Corners Baptist Church in Norcross, Georgia.

Apparently he is so “passionate” about conservatism that he has written and published an 86-page book, Define Conservatism which outlines what he reckons are the movement’s core values.  (Do check out his blog as well — it’s full of all the usual crazy blathering talking points you hear from Rush Limbough.) He contacted the organisers of CPAC for a spot to talk to like-minded people (and promote his book). Preaching to the converted, so to speak. There’s no suggestion anywhere — in this article, on his website — that he has ever mixed with non-conservatives or non-Christians. And yet he’s already denounced “liberalism” as if it’s a really terrible thing. President Obama is clearly a socialist because of his policies! Straight from the mouths of right-wing shock jocks.

He also appears to be developing quite a healthy ego:

Why just that morning, his mother, Marla Krohn, marveled, a staff member for a potential candidate for Georgia governor asked for a meeting with Jonathan. In her gentle drawl, Mrs. Krohn said cautiously, “I’m not sure I’m a supporter of his.”

“Neither am I,” Jonathan piped in.

“But I’m a voter,” Mrs. Krohn reminded him firmly.

Jonathan retorted, “Now that I’m a political pundit, I have the ability to influence people. I have to think about it!”

I just have to wonder — is his world always going to be so one-eyed and narrow-minded? It’s disturbing that at 14 years of age, he’s already so rigid and uncompromising. And that is incredibly sad, for kids should be learning and exploring with an open mind. (I’m now wondering how many conservatives are reading this and thinking the same thing about “liberals”.)

At any rate, this 14-year old unwittingly provides a good giggle:

He still has the zeal of a missionary. His voice rising to a wobbly squeak, he grabs any opening to press the cause. “Barack Obama is the most left-wing president in my lifetime,” he said.

Ever since Steve Fielding entered Parliament he’s been working hard to disguise his efforts to socially engineer Australia in line with the Pentecostal Church’s teachings. Just like a kid who plays a car in a school production, Steve’s been walking around in a cardboard box strung over his shoulders, “FAMILY” emblazoned on the side.

Steve’s latest ploy has been to link divorce to climate change.

“We understand that there is a social problem (with divorce), but now we’re seeing there is also environmental impact as well on the footprint,” [Fielding] said.

“Mitigating the impacts of resource-inefficient lifestyles such as divorce helps to achieve global environmental sustainability and saves money.”

Brilliant! Fielding thinks that divorce is bad because the Church thinks divorce is bad, but most Australians accept it as a necessary part of life, so Fielding tries to link divorce to something that most Australians do think is bad. Those Family First strategy meetings must be fascinating. And it’s not only me who thinks Steve’s nutty pronouncements are worthy of ridicule — he’s been reported in overseas newspapers as the “oddspot” overseas political nutbag.

Oh, Steve. Does nobody take you seriously?