Any time you’re standing around at a party and the topic of phobias comes up, it’s inevitable that at least one person will profess to have, or have had when they were younger, a fear of clowns.

They’re lying.

I blame Seinfeld. Until 1992, when the episode The Opera went to air, coulrophobia was a relatively rare phenomenon most people hadn’t even considered. In their desperation to prove how quirky and Kramer-like they were, unimaginative Seinfeld devotees began claiming this phobia en masse as a ready-made point of individual difference.

Obviously, it doesn’t work when everyone else is saying the same thing.

These were the kind of people who railed against anchovies on pizzas in the late 1980s — not because they’d ever eaten anchovies and found them unpalatable, but because Michelangelo of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fame didn’t like them.

Eventually, the rash of people who claimed to have a fear of clowns became so virulent that it infected the next generation, so that now even people who were barely born when The Opera went to air — like 17-year-old Alamela from Australia’s Next Top Model* — carry on with the painfully unoriginal charade.

In short, when you ask someone about their phobias and they tell you they have a fear of clowns, what they’re really saying is that they have a fear of not being able to come up with a snappy, interesting enough answer.

Essentially, it’s a fear of being seen as dull — which is fair enough. So GrodsCorp is here to help.

Next time you’re tempted to succumb to the tired old clown meme, choose instead a fear from the following list:

       • Ferns
       • Black people
       • Margarine
       • Terry McCrann
       • Wheels

You’ll be an instant hit.

* Yes, I watch it. Get fucked.

The Editor, John Surname, Jeremy Sear, Keri, Chuck A. Spear and Craig discuss:

* Teh gays
* Cab driver and teacher strikes
* Austrian hostages in basements
* SBS hidden cameras
* Ronaldo’s man-whore problem
* Bill Heffernan vs. Justice Kirby in the GrodsThink naked cagefight

** Because Ant Rogenous is using all the bandwidth to download instructional Fleshlight videos use only the “Play in popup” link or the “Download” link. **

 

 GrodsThink 15 (6 May 2008) [32:01m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Every afternoon during my lunchhour, I walk past a young homeless guy, in his mid-20’s or thereabouts, sitting cross-legged against a window shop window, a little hat in front of him, and begging for a “spare dollar” from people who rush past him, pretending not to notice, see or hear him.

I am guilty of being one of those people, and it makes me feel like shit. I go through phases where I cannot decide whether it’s wise to give the homeless a “spare dollar” or whether it’s better to donate money to a homeless shelter, soup van, etc. At the moment, I’ve been going through the phase thinking that it’s better to donate to a charity. You know, so that “at least I know where my money is going”.

But I also know that in many cases, money that is donated is still not reaching certain people, people who may not go to charities for assistance, or where charities are unable to reach them, for whatever reasons.

However, I would certainly say that giving a “spare dollar” to the guy near my office is much better than the idiots who regularly give him religious tracts — usually from Jehovah’s Witnesses. Sometimes tracts from the dreadful Chick Publications are given to him (yes, I watch everything, as the guy sitting next to me on the train last week should have realised). Other times I’ve noticed the poor dude holding literature from the Scientologists.

This afternoon was no different. The Mormons who prowl on my street were looking down at the homeless dude, talking and pushing shit into his hands, no doubt exhorting that God loves him and wants the best for him. Or something.

Did they give him a “spare dollar”? Of course not. Just like I haven’t. But shit, I don’t give him useless crap like religious proselytising and cheap paper with smudgy ink and coloured drawings of an adult Jesus looking rather solemn.

Today, I stopped to ask him if he ever found the literature thrust into his hands useful. He replied, “Yeah, I use ‘em for toilet paper cos the paper is usually soft enough.”

Well, it made me laugh. He told me about some of the kooky stuff that’s been said from people witnessing to him. As he said, “All I want is a couple of dollars so I can buy something to eat for dinner tonight.” He was utterly sincere. You have to meet him and talk to him to know he wasn’t just trying to get money for booze or drugs or whatever. And he was cold, with the bitter wind whipping up the street, making him shiver underneath his thin jumper.

From now on, I’m going to give him a “spare dollar” when I see him, to make up for the useless, pointless and altogether unhelpful religious preaching about how he can made “whole again in the love and light of our Lord Jesus, Saviour.” I don’t mean to sound like a martyr, but fuck, in this day and age and in this modern city, why are the young and old still freezing and hungry and homeless? And why do religious groups think it’s OK to push Jesus’s message of caring for the poor, without following his own message, one of which was:

“If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

I am not a Christian, but I know what the Christian message is, and I know that the Jesus these Christians apparently follow had a special concern for poor and suppressed people. Far as I know, Jesus never gave a shit about tracts and preaching and being “saved” anyway. His first concern was looking after “God’s people”.

What’s a measley dollar, anyway?

UPDATE:

I would like to see one those tract-pushing dealers wear this t-shirt:

At the risk of stating the obvious, the danger of asking members of the public for their opinion is that they might just give it to you. This was illustrated perfectly in a recent edition of the Shepparton News, a regional Victorian tabloid.

A reporter and photographer ventured out into Greater Shepparton asking the following question for the newspaper’s “On The Street” section:

If you could learn another language, what would it be and why?

From the responses published, one can only assume (in order of likelihood) that:

1. The opinions editor has a wicked sense of humour
2. Of all the responses received, only six were (barely) fit to publish
3. There were only six respondents, and space and deadline constraints meant all of their answers had to be given a run.

A few stood out. The first was that of 38-year-old Stanhope resident Denise Bowyer who, despite possibly having told a porky-pie about her age, offered the following:

Japenese (sic) so I can understand most of them.

Either Stanhope has an enormous Japanese community whose Engrish is barely intelligible, or Denise believes all Asian-looking people (you know, the ones with the funny eyes) are Nips. I’ll let you decide which is more likely to be the case.

Clint Morris, a 14-year-old Mooroopna resident, puts an even finer point on Denise’s sentiment with his response:

Asian, because there are so many of them here.

Clint’s done away with the folly of trying to pin down these shifty immigrants to individual nationalities — and why not? Since they all look the same, it makes perfect sense that they’d all speak the same imaginary language.

Bill Huylands, 67, of Moama provided what, on the face of it, seems a reasonable enough response:

Spanish, because you can use it anywhere.

Except in Stanhope, of course, where the throngs of incorrigible little foreigners refuse to understand a word of anything but Japenese (sic). And would probably karate-chop you for your insolence anyway, amigo.

The most thoughtful response came from 12-year-old Steven Sutton of Invergordon:

Auslan, so I can understand deaf people.

A terrific answer. Which goes to show that youth need not be a barrier to commonsense and open-mindedness.

School healthy eating schemes to tackle obesity are driving teenage girls towards eating disorders, according to new research.
Attempts to drum home healthy eating message were making pupils acutely aware of their weight and inadvertently driving some to potentially dangerous behaviour, the Loughborough University researchers said. (Source)

So if we want to stop childhood eating disorders, The Ed and his Maoist comrades-in-chalk need to stop making fat kids feel fat by promoting healthy body types (yes, it’s all their fault again). As a community service - and to help The Ed out with his teachering - I’ve provided some useful lesson ideas and phrases to avoid this situation in future:

“Boys and girls, this is called ‘celery’. Blleeeeeeeaaaaahhh. Have a donut.”

“It’s a lovely day today, kids… bugger PE, let’s break out the nachos.”

“Self-esteem is very important, Grade Five. Go home and smash all the mirrors.”

“Listen up now for an important a commerce lesson: ‘How to get full value from upsizing’.”

“Today we’re going to go to the Library and research a great person from history. You can choose from John Candy, Chris Farley, Ricky May, Rodney Dangerfield or Kim Beazley.”

“Flab has benefits, boys: if it hangs over far enough, no-one can see your weiner in the showers.”

“You can be morbidly obese and still play sport … just look at Groupthink FC. And you can’t see their weiners in the showers.”

Well, well, well. I want to talk about that fantastic Daily Telegraph (online), the Sydney NewsLtd staple rag. You know, the one where Tim Blair is the Opinion Editor (with emphasis on ‘editor’).

Last night in Granville, a western suburb of Sydney, a young man was stabbed and sadly died sometime later. The Daily Telegraph duly reported the crime, with updates as to the identity of the murder victim later in the day.

I read the article and when I got to the final paragraph, which said, in part:

Police are appealing for anyone who may have witnessed the incident or noticed a group of black/African males in the vicinity…

Here we go, I thought. If the calibre of the Telegraph’s target audience is anything to go by, surely the comments will contain some elements of racism and xenophobia. Oh, and maybe Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, NSW State Premier Morris Iemma and the soft-on-crime judges and magistrates and the whole legal system might get a mention as well.

I’m going to show you some of these comments. Editing and bolding mine for length and emphasis respectively, and typos left alone for posterity. Let’s have a look at the first comment, shall we?

Another stabbing takes place, while this Iemma government sits on its backside and absoluutely refuses to ramp up legislation in reviewing the laws involving the use and/or carrying of knives. Tearful Magistrates and Lawyers who would tell the community that the attacker is misunderstood and would be given a menial sentence or another Good Behaviour Bond allow these people to attack again. legislation that takes away the discretion of the judiciary to refuse to impose very very hefty Jail time for these cretins is needed…NOW.
Posted by: Mike Knowles of Sydney

Ah, Mike Knowles of Sydney, alarmist extraordinaire. Expert opinion on how to run everything: schools, unis, prisons, courts, parliament, you name it, he knows how it should be run.

That aside, BINGO. Morris Iemma gets the blame, as do ‘tearful’ magistrates and lawyers. What’s the go with the capital letters for ‘Good Behaviour Bond’, though?

Crime is the biggest concern for this country.
Posted by: Paul of Central Coast

Young gangs –not global warming, not tax evasion, not money laundering and not war on terrorism–will soon create havoc and fear in Australia unless the government and justice system clean up their acts and get tough on these crimes.
Posted by: huskies of Parramatta

Gulp. Seems to me that Paul and huskies are diagnosing the country’s problems in two short paragraphs, with no regard for statistics, evidence, proof, studies, nothing. But they’re right, you know. When I catch the train home from work, I stand on the platform in a semi-orderly fashion with other commuters, allowing passengers to disembark before boarding. When I walk to the shops on Saturday mornings, I am assaulted by the chattering of a diverse group of people enjoying brunch. When I withdraw money from the ATM, people stand a decent distance behind and don’t wrestle me for my cash and shoes.

Oh it’s a big, huge, massive problem blighting the nation, alright. AND I’M A VICTIM!

I wonder if they have heard of the term moral panic, just out of curiousity? Hmm. Ya reckon they have? No? OK, then.

another life taken through crime - when is this going to end. I think the Rudd government should do something about this before it happens again. we have seen enough crime and violence in this country..
Posted by: jr of nsw

Yeah, so get cracking, PM Rudd. Just ignore all that state intervention and constitutional stuff, and crack down on crime, pronto!

Zero Tolerance is well overdue for NSW. If it worked for New York city, it’ll work here. Considering the utter incompetance of the Carr/Iemma Governments on Policing, I’m surprised the Liberals have not picked up this ball and run with it yet.
Posted by: Pacman of Ryde

Sigh. How little ‘zero tolerance’ is understood. For a start, although crime rates in NYC may have dropped under Giuliani’s ‘zero tolerance’ era, “many criminologists question the precise part played by the police in this process. They point out that the reductions in crime in New York City must be viewed in the context of a general reduction in the major US cities in recent years. A diversity of causes are said to lie behind these developments, including the sustained period of economic growth in the US in the 1990s and the changing nature of the drug market in this period…”

Not only that, but as criminologist Chris Cunneen has argued, implementing a ‘zero tolerance’ policy in Australia would lead to, inter alia, civil liberties violations, court jams, more people in prison (which are already overcrowded, as it is), and there is little evidence to suggest that it would reduce crime and drug use. The get-tough tactics of the New York police look a lot better from a distance. It doesn’t mean that the alleged success of ‘zero tolerance’ in NYC would be just as successful in NSW, or elsewhere. (1)

Anyway, back to the pathetic comments. They get nastier, the comments (admist all the blame Rudd/Iemma/legal system). Like this one:

What nationality (or background) this time? Western Sydney is a Crime Capital - thuggery criminal behaviour that has proven in the past will spread to other innocent suburbs! Be assured, these people are low life scum and do not care who they hurt. Crime is not being managed at a state or federal level….but wait……we had the 20/20 summit and we may get our not wanted republic!
Posted by: hazy of Chatswood

‘What nationality or background this time?’ Did s/he really ask that?! What if the answer came back as Caucasian, white, pure as the driven snow? You know, like the Morans or the Williams, those murderous white boys.

Fuck you, hazy, for even asking.

But there’s worse:

Well, considering where it happened and who the police are looking for, I can’t say I’m terribly surprised… Guess who’s moved in? Any guesses why I’ve moved out?
Posted by: Michelle

Come on, Michelle, say what you really want to say.

Wow, I thought the africans in our country were generally pretty cool and peaceful. Racial gangs have to go. Its not worth it.
Posted by: PW of Surry Hills

An incident in Granville involving a small number of ‘blacks/Africans’ and all of a sudden, all the Africans in ‘our’ country are not cool and peaceful anymore, is that what you’re honestly saying, PW?! And just WHAT THE FUCK are ‘racial gangs’? And when you’ve answered that, they have to go where?

C’mon.

Anyway, as bad as all the above comments are, this one has to take the cake for sheer stupidity:

…Why won’t Dr Brendan Nelson do something to help the crime? He ought to be struck off the register.
Posted by: Wassa

I’m the last person to defend Dr Brendan Nelson (actually, The Editor might be the last in the line), but this comment is just so obviously asinine and ridiculous, I’m sure I don’t have to point out why.

I think I’m going to have to give up reading the Daily Telegraph online, for my sanity.

(1) Cunneen, C. 1999. Zero tolerance policing and the experience of New York City. Current Issues in Criminal Justice 10 (3):229-313.

*Title of this post is a line from the Billie Holiday song, “Strange Fruit” - a song that condemned American racism and lynching.

UPDATE: Yes, I know it’s a long post. There’s a LOT OF SHIT TO GET THROUGH ON THE DAILY TELEGRAPH, OKAY?!

UPDATE II: Almost Always Wrong reckons this post is too scholarly for Grods. Bollocks, I say. One, it’s not scholarly - not if you’re critiquing a tabloid’s online comments. Two, if them RWDB from you-know-where are pissed off by my leftist rant (or in the very slight chance that they rethink their silly ideas on crime and race), then I’ve reached nirvana.

Kevin’s weekend-long suggestion box seems to have brought the reform-for-its-own-sake boffins out of the closet: there’s been talk of changing everything, from the Constitution to the flag. Now some are talking about scrapping Advance Australia Fair as the national anthem, even though we’ve only had it officially for a tick over 30 years.

Like many blasé Aussies I’m indifferent to the anthem - I’m not passionately stirred by it but nor do I loathe it. It seems to stack up well against most other national songs. I’ve certainly appreciated it more since Julie Anthony’s stirring rendition of at the Sydney Olympics (viewable on the You Tubes). Changing it would open up one of those ridiculous hornets’ nests: where talkback radio is flooded with blue-rinsers and Valium-happy housewifes; where RSLs buzz and thrum like someone has put Viagra in the cheap beer; where everyone wants a say on something about which they ultimately don’t give a shit. We’ve got enough to do and can do without all of that, thanks. 

What the hell do these change-monsters want to have as our anthem anyway? Grodsophiles may have better suggestions but some could be:

• The Seekers’ I Am Australian?
• Men at Work’s Down Under?
• Keri’s favourite Chizzle tune, Khe Sahn?
• Hot Chili Woman by Noiseworks?
• Something from Chuck A. Spear’s Pernicious Minds setlist?

I’m afraid I’ve always thought the worst of Kevin Rudd’s chat-fest. Too brief, crowded and unstructured, the 2020 Summit is to policy development what 2020 cricket games are to Test matches. Perhaps a series of rolling summits on the ten focii - with a more formalised structure and a clear communique for each issue - would have been more productive. And involving a more rigorous selection process too, since the claim that the summit would involve “Australia’s brightest 1000 minds” has turned out to be something of a farce.

Take Kate ‘I’ve-got-an-opinion-on-everything’ Hands, a suburban mum from Melbourne chosen as a delegate for “middle-class Victoria” by the Herald Sun. There’s no evidence that Kate has any more experience or expertise in the ten focus topics than anyone else; she was just the winner of a bizarre lottery. Unsurprisingly, her idealism was dented and she thought the summit was a bummer:

Kate Hands, picked out by the Herald Sun to represent ordinary Victorians, said she felt she had to be in the Kevin Rudd cheer squad if she wanted to be heard.

Sounds like poor Kate couldn’t get a word in. Which is generally what happens when you lack confidence, experience in articulating your opinions and the ability to hold the attention of large groups. Or maybe she just didn’t hold her hand up high enough.

“So far it’s a lot of pretty words for what we would like to happen in 12 years, but there’s nothing really concrete,” she said.

Maybe Kate expected to be seconded onto a policy committee or to be drafting legislation. Policy brainstorming is bound to be abstract, unformed and speculative.

Ms Hands said she was disheartened at lunchtime, wondering if her trip to Canberra was worthwhile.

Maybe Kate didn’t like the sandwiches. Mind you, at least she now knows how the current shadow ministry feels.

Most of the suggestions were obvious and had already been done in the past, she said. “Things like preventative health and early childhood education, it was just repeat, repeat, repeat.”

Well most suggestions in a brainstorming session are obvious: the objective is to identify and consider one or two that aren’t. Sounds like Kate might have switched off when ideas, approaches and jargon were being bandied about. Meanwhile, James Houston - another delegate from Victoria, ’specialising’ in rural communities - got similarly frustrated that he wasn’t given a gilt-edged soapbox:

As [Sky News presenter David] Speers was preparing to introduce four panelists for the sessions, including government minister Tanya Plibersek, he noticed Mr Houston on stage.

“James, I’m afraid you’re not one of those guests this morning,” Mr Speers said. I’m sorry James, maybe we can have a chat later on.” Mr Houston initially refused to leave the stage. The lights dimmed and Mr Speers could be heard saying: “We’re about to get underway with this … so if you wouldn’t mind just leaving the stage for a bit?”

Mr Houston eventually left the stage, but returned while the panel discussion was underway, sitting on the side of the stage while sipping a coffee.

Well, at least he got coffee.

Tonight, I’ve been catching up with my reading at the online American magazine, Slate. I was particularly captivated by their slideshow on the anti-busing rallies in Boston in 1976 (long after the Civil Rights Movement began). It was an ugly episode, it goes without saying. The nightmarish photo below earned the photographer, Stanley J. Forman, the 1977 Pulitzer Prize. As you look at it, you can see why the photo, called The Soiling of Old Glory, won the prize - it captured a white youth transforming the American flag into a weapon directed at a black lawyer.

You would think that, in this day and age, the issue of segregration and desegregation was no longer an issue. Wrong. As the slideshow points out:

In 2006, when Deval Patrick became the first black governor of Massachusetts, the Boston Globe expressed hope that his inauguration would “finally wash away the shameful stain of that day in 1976.” Last June, however, a Supreme Court ruling forbade school districts from assigning students based on their race, and Patrick’s administration has been forced to find ways to avoid dismantling desegregation programs throughout Massachusetts. The issue, and the photograph, continue to haunt Boston, and the nation.

Here’s hoping that if Barack Obama wins not only the Presidential nomination but the Presidency itself, America might finally realise that being dark-skinned is not an abomination or evil or whatever silly story it is that white supremacists and other racist ratbags peddle.

As for the other photos in the slideshow, the one that made me look at it for ages was the picture of the woman and child freefalling out a window when their apartment block caught fire. There is a cruel beauty in that particular photo, and I wonder what you think.

The Editor, John Surname, Ant Rogenous, Jeremy Sear, Keri, The Happy Revolutionary and Craig discuss:

* Kevin Rudd’s world tour of the world
* Plain English
* The republic
* Climate change alarmism
* Incest
* Keith Windschuttle vs. Archie Roach in the GrodsThink naked cage fight

** Because downloads of Kevin Rudd’s salute to the US Prez on YouTube have caused congestion in teh intertubes use only the “Play in popup” link or the “Download” link. **

 

 GrodsThink 11 (8 April 2008) [33:22m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Now we all know that polls and surveys are the tabloid media’s stock-in-trade; they love them as much as Ant loves his Fleshlight gags. But basing whole stories - or worse, a sweeping coverage of a significant issue - on a single survey is lazy, unimaginative and fundamentally dangerous. Today the Herald Sun is running a spread on the ’findings’ (ie. whatever controversial stuff it can extract) of a recent survey of serving Victorian police officers. A precis of some survey results can be downloaded here (note the filename). In short, the survey expresses a need for greater police numbers (fair enough) a need for more men in the force (the ratio of female officers has soared to 23 per cent!) and a lack of confidence in chief commissioner Christine Nixon (she’s a woman too, you see).

And how many serving police officers responded to this optional survey? A total of 3459, or 30 per cent. That’s right, 30 per cent. This posturing, fulminating attack on the hierarchy, composition and methodology of our police force is based on the views of less than one-third of its members. Out-bloody-standing.

There’s a good portion of police members in Victoria hark back to the days of ‘Squizzy’ Taylor, larrikins and pushes, when policing was more simple and criminals were confronted head-on. Courts were strict, prisons were brutal, the coppers were a paramilitary group who took on villians en masse and knocked ’em all over the heads with truncheons. Policemen were tough because they had to be, so the force was gruff, insular and - because it was ugly business with no place for ladies - it also became strongly misogynistic. Thankfully those days are over and the police force has become far more professional and community-minded, a fact that some police members are yet to come to terms with.  In offering this survey as evidence of the state of our police force, even though it reflects the views of 30 per cent of all police, the Herald Sun is pandering to the views of a dubious minority and inviting panic, paranoia and a loss of confidence in Victoria Police itself.

I now invite the Herald Sun to commission an independent survey of all its employees, where they will be asked questions about their working conditions, processes, application of journalistic ethics and, importantly, confidence in senior editorial staff and Uncle Rupert. And if a disgruntled minority at the Herald Sun - and believe me, there is one - come to dominate the survey, will the organisation report this as representative of a crisis in its own ranks?

Behold the sheer brilliance of the Brumby-Pike plan for educational reform:

Principals will help burnt-out teachers find new jobs under reforms proposed for Victorian schools.

They’ll sack ‘em.

Education Minister Bronwyn Pike released a discussion paper yesterday addressing ways to remove under-performing teachers. “It’s true there are some teachers who become disengaged from the educational process,” Ms Pike said.

They’re shite.

“I think there needs to be an opportunity for them to consider an alternative career.”

They should piss off. 

Ms Pike said some schools had lost the confidence of parents and their community.

They’re shite too.

Under-performing schools would face greater scrutiny and more hands-on management from outside.

We’ll take those ones over and kick arse.

Australian Education Union state president Mary Bluett said the paper failed to acknowledge the need for more money for Victoria’s teachers, the nation’s lowest paid.

‘Give us more money’ - leftists.

Sitting on the train on my way home last Friday night, I was almost lulled into slumber by the screeching metal tracks, when I realised I had been staring at a message on the cold, plastic blue seat opposite, beautifully written in italics - or ‘running writing’ as they used to call it (do they still call it that in primary schools today?).

It was a message that gave me hope that despite the bleakness, the greyness, the murders, the drugs, the rising interest rates, the racism, the bigotry, the falling apart of society, the Blairites, that there is still a beacon of hope and lightness on this forsaken planet. The message said:

Peace, love, acceptance

That’s all that matters.

How true, I thought, suddenly startled out of my alcohol-soaked misery. How damn true - and we all should be aiming for those goals: love, peace, acceptance. I sat up straight and promised no one in particular that these are the goals I am going to apply to my life immediately.

Then my eyes glanced to another familiar bit of running writing, and I was eager to read what other inspiration I could learn from a train seat with the slash in it. What I read changed my life forever:

Fuck the South Side. 

The subjects of a Hun story… not Hun commenters

You can tell as much as you need to know about the Herald Sun from the online commenting habits of its readers. One day someone will write a thesis or commission a study on it but from general observation, any story involving politics, international issues, poverty, global warming, etc. struggles to reach double figures in comments … but mention Wayne Carey, Shane Warne, any other current or ex-sportsperson, sex, death, sharks, stingrays, mortgages, petrol prices… and whooooosh! the posts they come like a stream-of-consciousness torrent. And something like an unholy incest yarn - weird sex and all that - attracts 42 boganisms and rising in about three hours, ranging from ‘SICK! DISGUSTING!’ tub-thumping to the thinly veiled gags:

All this story needs is Banjo music in the background!!
Posted by: A. Thompson of Melbourne

it was chad morgan who pend and sung the song “im my own grandpa” talk about life imitating art!
Posted by: dimitri of mildura

First a pregnant man now this?! Celeste ay? She will probably be called Cest for short.
Posted by: Steve of Wagga NSW

further evidence that south australia truly are better off for not having any convict settlement…
Posted by: John of Ball

I think it’s fantastic. People should leave them alone - they obviously found true happiness despite the obstacles. Alana - how can you talk? You’re from Narre Warren of all places - you must see this kind of thing everywhere.
Posted by: johnny of Melbourne

All the Hun needs now is for Wayne Carey to commit incest with a stingray while urinating on the windows of Crown Casino and their commenting system may implode.

There was only one Charlton Heston flick worth watching, a dark visionary tale about a future-Earth where society has gone horribly wrong…

“Those maniacs! They did it! They finally did it!”