This is a propaganda message from Comrade Bron. All you other non-NSW residents (and NSW union/lefty haters) carry on playing with your Fleshlights.

COMMUNITY RALLY - SATURDAY 3rd MAY 2008

TELL THE IEMMA GOVERNMENT - NO!

Join concerned workers and families who want to stop the NSW State Government trying to sell our electricity to a private company. Come and join the Rally outside the NSW ALP Conference.

WHERE: Darling Harbour, Convention Centre (near Olympic monument)
WHEN: 9:30 am Saturday 3 May 2008

The electricity anti-privatisation Rally will be followed by the MAY DAY RALLY AND PROCESSION.

* Stop the Sell Off of public utilities
* Demand rights at work for all workers
* Demand social justice for workers around the world

www.stoptheselloff.org.au

Everybody, give a loud cheer to that fantastic newspaper called mX. HOORAY!

Why?

Well, as some of you may remember, a couple of weeks ago I sat next to Gordon Gekko one morning on the train to work, and since I’d left my book at home, I was fascinated by the writing in his notepad, open on his lap, instead. Those notes kept me wildly entertained for the whole journey, even if it did cause some heartbreak in the end.

In the comments that followed, I was urged to track him down again and “read his notebook”, which would have been a very difficult thing to do (I can barely remember what he looks like, except for the hair slicked back). Then I (who else but wonderful me?) hit on the excellent idea of leaving a message in the “Here’s looking at you” letters section in that free rag distributed in the afternoons to commuters, mX.

Ant immediately followed my suggestion with his suggestion with what to submit. I duly agreed and submitted it to mX, with slight modifications.

Then waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Every single day, I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until TODAY! Thanks to Wah, who used his contacts and got the bloody letter published. I was so excited to see the letter published in the rag, that I nearly waltzed all the way down the tunnel to the train.

Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on this:

OH SHAT! Wrong photo. That’s The Editor’s missing Gravatar.

This, look, this:

How good is that?! On the train home, I watched every person reading mX like a hawk, waiting to see the funny expressions on their faces that would no doubt surely follow. My lips were dry, my left leg kept shaking, my right hand twitching, my left ear squeaking.

Nothing. Blank faces. They didn’t care. They just did not care. I wanted to lean over and helpfully point to my letter and say, “Hey, look at that crazy letter. Crazy, innit?” But I didn’t. It felt weird to be able to see my name and Grods’ name and see the schmucks reading the letters and not even reacting. Of course, there’s a very strong probability that the letter meant nothing to them.

So, once again, dear readers, I regret to come to the conclusion that GrodsCorp has failed to set the world alight and hearts a-flutter.

Of course, I had nothing to do with it.

Every afternoon during my lunchhour, I walk past a young homeless guy, in his mid-20’s or thereabouts, sitting cross-legged against a window shop window, a little hat in front of him, and begging for a “spare dollar” from people who rush past him, pretending not to notice, see or hear him.

I am guilty of being one of those people, and it makes me feel like shit. I go through phases where I cannot decide whether it’s wise to give the homeless a “spare dollar” or whether it’s better to donate money to a homeless shelter, soup van, etc. At the moment, I’ve been going through the phase thinking that it’s better to donate to a charity. You know, so that “at least I know where my money is going”.

But I also know that in many cases, money that is donated is still not reaching certain people, people who may not go to charities for assistance, or where charities are unable to reach them, for whatever reasons.

However, I would certainly say that giving a “spare dollar” to the guy near my office is much better than the idiots who regularly give him religious tracts — usually from Jehovah’s Witnesses. Sometimes tracts from the dreadful Chick Publications are given to him (yes, I watch everything, as the guy sitting next to me on the train last week should have realised). Other times I’ve noticed the poor dude holding literature from the Scientologists.

This afternoon was no different. The Mormons who prowl on my street were looking down at the homeless dude, talking and pushing shit into his hands, no doubt exhorting that God loves him and wants the best for him. Or something.

Did they give him a “spare dollar”? Of course not. Just like I haven’t. But shit, I don’t give him useless crap like religious proselytising and cheap paper with smudgy ink and coloured drawings of an adult Jesus looking rather solemn.

Today, I stopped to ask him if he ever found the literature thrust into his hands useful. He replied, “Yeah, I use ‘em for toilet paper cos the paper is usually soft enough.”

Well, it made me laugh. He told me about some of the kooky stuff that’s been said from people witnessing to him. As he said, “All I want is a couple of dollars so I can buy something to eat for dinner tonight.” He was utterly sincere. You have to meet him and talk to him to know he wasn’t just trying to get money for booze or drugs or whatever. And he was cold, with the bitter wind whipping up the street, making him shiver underneath his thin jumper.

From now on, I’m going to give him a “spare dollar” when I see him, to make up for the useless, pointless and altogether unhelpful religious preaching about how he can made “whole again in the love and light of our Lord Jesus, Saviour.” I don’t mean to sound like a martyr, but fuck, in this day and age and in this modern city, why are the young and old still freezing and hungry and homeless? And why do religious groups think it’s OK to push Jesus’s message of caring for the poor, without following his own message, one of which was:

“If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

I am not a Christian, but I know what the Christian message is, and I know that the Jesus these Christians apparently follow had a special concern for poor and suppressed people. Far as I know, Jesus never gave a shit about tracts and preaching and being “saved” anyway. His first concern was looking after “God’s people”.

What’s a measley dollar, anyway?

UPDATE:

I would like to see one those tract-pushing dealers wear this t-shirt:

Well, well, well. I want to talk about that fantastic Daily Telegraph (online), the Sydney NewsLtd staple rag. You know, the one where Tim Blair is the Opinion Editor (with emphasis on ‘editor’).

Last night in Granville, a western suburb of Sydney, a young man was stabbed and sadly died sometime later. The Daily Telegraph duly reported the crime, with updates as to the identity of the murder victim later in the day.

I read the article and when I got to the final paragraph, which said, in part:

Police are appealing for anyone who may have witnessed the incident or noticed a group of black/African males in the vicinity…

Here we go, I thought. If the calibre of the Telegraph’s target audience is anything to go by, surely the comments will contain some elements of racism and xenophobia. Oh, and maybe Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, NSW State Premier Morris Iemma and the soft-on-crime judges and magistrates and the whole legal system might get a mention as well.

I’m going to show you some of these comments. Editing and bolding mine for length and emphasis respectively, and typos left alone for posterity. Let’s have a look at the first comment, shall we?

Another stabbing takes place, while this Iemma government sits on its backside and absoluutely refuses to ramp up legislation in reviewing the laws involving the use and/or carrying of knives. Tearful Magistrates and Lawyers who would tell the community that the attacker is misunderstood and would be given a menial sentence or another Good Behaviour Bond allow these people to attack again. legislation that takes away the discretion of the judiciary to refuse to impose very very hefty Jail time for these cretins is needed…NOW.
Posted by: Mike Knowles of Sydney

Ah, Mike Knowles of Sydney, alarmist extraordinaire. Expert opinion on how to run everything: schools, unis, prisons, courts, parliament, you name it, he knows how it should be run.

That aside, BINGO. Morris Iemma gets the blame, as do ‘tearful’ magistrates and lawyers. What’s the go with the capital letters for ‘Good Behaviour Bond’, though?

Crime is the biggest concern for this country.
Posted by: Paul of Central Coast

Young gangs –not global warming, not tax evasion, not money laundering and not war on terrorism–will soon create havoc and fear in Australia unless the government and justice system clean up their acts and get tough on these crimes.
Posted by: huskies of Parramatta

Gulp. Seems to me that Paul and huskies are diagnosing the country’s problems in two short paragraphs, with no regard for statistics, evidence, proof, studies, nothing. But they’re right, you know. When I catch the train home from work, I stand on the platform in a semi-orderly fashion with other commuters, allowing passengers to disembark before boarding. When I walk to the shops on Saturday mornings, I am assaulted by the chattering of a diverse group of people enjoying brunch. When I withdraw money from the ATM, people stand a decent distance behind and don’t wrestle me for my cash and shoes.

Oh it’s a big, huge, massive problem blighting the nation, alright. AND I’M A VICTIM!

I wonder if they have heard of the term moral panic, just out of curiousity? Hmm. Ya reckon they have? No? OK, then.

another life taken through crime - when is this going to end. I think the Rudd government should do something about this before it happens again. we have seen enough crime and violence in this country..
Posted by: jr of nsw

Yeah, so get cracking, PM Rudd. Just ignore all that state intervention and constitutional stuff, and crack down on crime, pronto!

Zero Tolerance is well overdue for NSW. If it worked for New York city, it’ll work here. Considering the utter incompetance of the Carr/Iemma Governments on Policing, I’m surprised the Liberals have not picked up this ball and run with it yet.
Posted by: Pacman of Ryde

Sigh. How little ‘zero tolerance’ is understood. For a start, although crime rates in NYC may have dropped under Giuliani’s ‘zero tolerance’ era, “many criminologists question the precise part played by the police in this process. They point out that the reductions in crime in New York City must be viewed in the context of a general reduction in the major US cities in recent years. A diversity of causes are said to lie behind these developments, including the sustained period of economic growth in the US in the 1990s and the changing nature of the drug market in this period…”

Not only that, but as criminologist Chris Cunneen has argued, implementing a ‘zero tolerance’ policy in Australia would lead to, inter alia, civil liberties violations, court jams, more people in prison (which are already overcrowded, as it is), and there is little evidence to suggest that it would reduce crime and drug use. The get-tough tactics of the New York police look a lot better from a distance. It doesn’t mean that the alleged success of ‘zero tolerance’ in NYC would be just as successful in NSW, or elsewhere. (1)

Anyway, back to the pathetic comments. They get nastier, the comments (admist all the blame Rudd/Iemma/legal system). Like this one:

What nationality (or background) this time? Western Sydney is a Crime Capital - thuggery criminal behaviour that has proven in the past will spread to other innocent suburbs! Be assured, these people are low life scum and do not care who they hurt. Crime is not being managed at a state or federal level….but wait……we had the 20/20 summit and we may get our not wanted republic!
Posted by: hazy of Chatswood

‘What nationality or background this time?’ Did s/he really ask that?! What if the answer came back as Caucasian, white, pure as the driven snow? You know, like the Morans or the Williams, those murderous white boys.

Fuck you, hazy, for even asking.

But there’s worse:

Well, considering where it happened and who the police are looking for, I can’t say I’m terribly surprised… Guess who’s moved in? Any guesses why I’ve moved out?
Posted by: Michelle

Come on, Michelle, say what you really want to say.

Wow, I thought the africans in our country were generally pretty cool and peaceful. Racial gangs have to go. Its not worth it.
Posted by: PW of Surry Hills

An incident in Granville involving a small number of ‘blacks/Africans’ and all of a sudden, all the Africans in ‘our’ country are not cool and peaceful anymore, is that what you’re honestly saying, PW?! And just WHAT THE FUCK are ‘racial gangs’? And when you’ve answered that, they have to go where?

C’mon.

Anyway, as bad as all the above comments are, this one has to take the cake for sheer stupidity:

…Why won’t Dr Brendan Nelson do something to help the crime? He ought to be struck off the register.
Posted by: Wassa

I’m the last person to defend Dr Brendan Nelson (actually, The Editor might be the last in the line), but this comment is just so obviously asinine and ridiculous, I’m sure I don’t have to point out why.

I think I’m going to have to give up reading the Daily Telegraph online, for my sanity.

(1) Cunneen, C. 1999. Zero tolerance policing and the experience of New York City. Current Issues in Criminal Justice 10 (3):229-313.

*Title of this post is a line from the Billie Holiday song, “Strange Fruit” - a song that condemned American racism and lynching.

UPDATE: Yes, I know it’s a long post. There’s a LOT OF SHIT TO GET THROUGH ON THE DAILY TELEGRAPH, OKAY?!

UPDATE II: Almost Always Wrong reckons this post is too scholarly for Grods. Bollocks, I say. One, it’s not scholarly - not if you’re critiquing a tabloid’s online comments. Two, if them RWDB from you-know-where are pissed off by my leftist rant (or in the very slight chance that they rethink their silly ideas on crime and race), then I’ve reached nirvana.

Not only did I weep on the train this morning on my way to work, I also wept on the train on my way home.

MX, that highly regarded and informative, hard-hitting free newspaper distributed to commuters every afternoon from about 3.30pm onwards (in Sydney, at least), was thrust into my unwilling hands as I rushed into the train station. After a bitch fight pushing heavily pregnant women and geriatric men with Zimmer frames out of the way to grab the last seat, I settled back for a good read.

One of my favourite parts — or not so favourite, I can’t really decide — is the letters page, especially the little section called “Here’s looking at you”, where people leave messages for other people they’ve seen on a train or bus that they fancy, or simply want to root.

For example,

The stunner with the purple bag and black-rim glasses who gets on at Sutherland at 7.29am, you brighten my day.

– James, Wollongong.

While that’s a little sappy, it’s reflective of the usual shout-outs that get printed. However, every once in a while, a really, really, really terrible one gets printed, and so it was today when I read the following and wept because of its sheer awfulness:

The girl in the brown leather jacket on the 6.30 Waterfall train. If you were a McDonald’s burger, you’d be a McGorgeous.

– Tristan, Cronulla.

I had quite an exciting time on the train this morning, on my way to work. It was also God-sent, because I’d left my book at home.

When I squeezed in next to the natty looking gent on the train, I accidentally sat on the corner of his suit jacket, and he got a little huffy about that. I mumbled something that I wished sounded like “You’re a fucking idiot, you know?”, but it sounded more like “sorry”.

As you can tell, I’m a wonderful person to be with in the mornings.

So, there I am, sitting on the train, wondering why my book wasn’t in my bag, when the dude next to me caught my attention again by looking like he was rehearsing for a speech. He had a notepad on his lap, his mouth was moving silently, and his hands making little movements as if he was talking to an audience. Aha! I thought. What’s he rehearsing for? Is he nervous? I hope he is, I thought meanly, because he didn’t move the corner of his jacket off the seat before I sat down.

I should point out that I am by nature a curious (some might say nosey) person about other people. Particularly if I don’t have anything to read on the train. I like to wonder about people around me – who are they, where are they going, how do they feel, do they make more money than me, did they get lucky last night? That sort of thing.

So, with my curiosity piqued, I had to take a quick surreptitious look at his notepad to see what he was obviously memorising and practising. First point went something like this:

1. If we have to do it, we have to do it.

Cor blimey, I thought, that’s deep. And easy enough to remember. But do what? I sneak another look.

2. Compliance/asic – asic have axe to grind. Give them an inch and they will take a mile.

Oooh, he’s clearly talking about ASIC – Australian Securities and Investments Commission, the body responsible for “ensuring that Australia’s financial markets are fair and transparent, supported by confident and informed investors and consumers.”

And with whom does ASIC have an axe to grind? Oh! This is better than the book that’s not in my bag! Am I sitting next to a white-collar crim?! I glance oh-so-casually out the window past his profile, pretending to figure out where we are, and EEEK! It’s Gordon Gekko! Corporate raider! Slicked back hair, smooth freshly shaven skin… well, actually, that’s as far as the similarities go. Oh, and natty suit, which, I remind you, I partially sat on.

3. Telephone bugging – sound “different” – monitoring.

By now, I’m mentally writing a TV script that will rival Underbelly. Spies skulking around the corridors of power, money and high-fliers. Bugs inserted into board room meetings full of white men in natty suits wearing expensive gold, monogrammed cufflinks. Richly decorated offices with expansive harbour views being fumigated by smells from Boss, Drakkar Noir and Old Spice. Golden-haired secretaries wearing crisp white shirts and sharp black skirts and long tanned legs, complete with peek-a-boo red lingerie underneath.

Settle, boys. Girls, too.

4. Not all markets are doing this. Golden opportunity…

What? What was that? Not doing what? Why is it underlined? I twist my head blatantly to read it but I didn’t get a chance — Mr Gekko had flipped his notepad shut and we were rolling into Martin Place Station, and he pushed past me, even though I was also getting off at the same station. I just hadn’t budged yet because I was so engrossed with trying to read his small but legible writing, and there were another 5 or 6 points to still read.

I nearly cried. I nearly followed him, but he moved way too fast, fast like a man on a mission to steal millions of dollars.

I turned up to work, feeling robbed, not of millions of dollars, but of having my spying skills cut short.

It’s your turn, dear GrodsReaders. What do you think his notes were about? What and who was he memorising his notes for? What were they going to do? Is it legal? Why is ASIC attempting to take a mile off them?

Also, may I remind you to be careful if you’re on public transport; you never know, I could be sitting next to you.

Things that shit me #4: people who stop in the flow of pedestrians to answer their mobile phones

I realised as I rushed to catch my train yesterday evening, that not only do I loathe inappropriate and excessive ellipses used at the end of every sentence, I also hate people in general.

OK, let me modify that last statement, lest I should be accused of being a hateful lefty: I hate people who, in rush hour pedestrian traffic, will actually STOP to answer their ringing mobile phones, and may continue to stand still to have a conversation, much to the chagrin of rushing commuters walking behind them.

What? WHAT?! Why are you stopping in the middle of pedestrian traffic flow, just to answer and talk on your friggin’ phone? Why are you stopping right in front of me? Can’t you see I have a train to catch? Why? WHY?! DON’T YOU FEAR THAT YOUR STUPID ACTIONS MIGHT HARM THE GENERAL WELLBEING, HARMONY AND COHESIVENESS OF SOCIETY?! Never mind harm to your good self by me stepping on your heels, pushing my fingers into the small of your back in an attempt to stop myself propelling right up your arse, and murmuring a stunned, muffled “ooof” into the back of your head?!

And don’t you realise that there is a reason why a mobile phone is called a mobile phone, you git?!

Apart from that, I really do like people. Sometimes.

Also, admittedly it is less dangerous than trams and pedestrians and cars in Melbourne. I really shouldn’t complain. But it’s still so fucking annoying.