grodscorp@grods.comEmail to Rudd
 | Posted by John Surname on Sunday 20 May 2007, 3:06 pm Categories: Australia Decides '07, Cats, Politics, Public transport |
I just sent this email to Kevin Rudd. I anticpate a reply within minutes.
Dear Mr. Rudd,
Campaign slogans are a necessary part of a campaign. Who could forget Gough’s “It’s Time”? Well, possibly Gough himself. He is getting on a bit, I ’spose. Mark Latham sank his campaign with his inane chanting of “ease the squeeze” and the “ladder of opportunity”, and I fear you will suffer the same fate if you continue to harp on about “throwing the fair go out the back door”, and continue with those ludicrous hand gestures. They make you look like a retard from the land of Mong.
But don’t take this as criticism.
I like you, Rudd.
You may not know this, but I am one of the Internets foremost political bloggers. Dozens of people have read my posts. Some people have even posted comments, and not all of them were negative. I calculate this puts me in the top 86% of political bloggers. Dare you ignore me?
Here is my idea for a campaign slogan:
Rudd is my bud.
Yep, that’s it, and it guarantees you an almost certain victory, as my extensive polling of my cat indicates that he’s 200% more likely to vote for a candidate with an awesome slogan like that. He isn’t registered, but he can be if you need the extra vote. His name is Eddie and he is an ALP cat, all the way. If John So demands it infringes on his slogan, just mock his accent. I reckon it would get him really worked up. Sure, perhaps mocking an Asian man won’t be seen as clever, but he really gets on my nerves sometimes. I had to sit on a train the other week opposite his ridiculous poem that was pasted on the wall. The whole time I sat there with the poem and his voice running through my head, and I swore I would never be nice about him again.
So please think about it and get back to me.
You and me, Rudd, we can rule Australia.
Yours sincerely,
John Surname.
http://randombrainwave.blogspot.com
Sunday 20 May 2007, 4:00 pm #Mikey
Let’s go for the stoner vote.
“I want to do buds with Rudd”
Gold
Sunday 20 May 2007, 5:50 pm #The Editor
It’s the kind of engagement in political issues you display that gives me hope for our great country, John.
Sunday 20 May 2007, 5:55 pm #Magic Bellybutton
“Buy buds with your bud, Rudd”
Sunday 20 May 2007, 6:43 pm #Mikey
“Dude, you got any hosepipe?”
Vote 1# Rudd
Sunday 20 May 2007, 6:46 pm #The Editor
A Rudd government, if elected, will subsidise the purchase of salt-and-vinegar potato chips.
Sunday 20 May 2007, 8:25 pm #invig
Whats wrong with not throwing the fair go *reverse fonzi* out the backdoor?
I mean, bloody hell, don’t you know how often these days people seem to want to throw the fair go *reverse fonzi* out the backdoor?
It really is digraceful, how many times people like John Howard throw the fair go *reverse fonzi* out the backdoor.
It really is.
*reverse fonzi*
Sunday 20 May 2007, 11:19 pm #Bridgit Gread
“Vote for Rudd - he’s not John Howard”
Monday 21 May 2007, 11:35 am #zinger
Was that supposed to be… funny? Yes no?
Monday 21 May 2007, 11:56 am #Adam
A retard from the land of Mong??
Monday 21 May 2007, 10:23 pm #Steve D
It’s true, bagging out people wins votes. I know a number of people who were swayed by late night Family First ads last Victorian election where they swapped their line “A vote for the Greens is a vote for extremes” for the considerably more catchy “A vote for the Greens is a vote for hippies”.