That’s that then. After ten days of snow, beer and whiskey it’s back to reality and preparations for work. Thanks to John Surname for keeping the posts ticking over while I was away. Thanks to Goobermetrics for sniping from the sidelines (he was just jealous of my holiday, I reckon.)

So I arrive at Christchurch airport last Wednesday and get on the bus to go to Methven — Mt Hutt’s village. A song is playing on the radio that I don’t recognise because I’m out of touch with the kidz and all that. The song finishes and the announcer says, “that was Mussy Huggins from Orrstraylia.”

Welcome to New Zealand.

I wake up in Methven on Thursday morning very excited about finally hitting the slopes. I dress in the dark of my dorm and hurry to the kitchen to grab some breakfast before grabbing the ski bus. However, I find a group of glum looking people staring at the ski report that reports Mt Hutt to be closed due to visibility and road conditions. Very pissed off.

Spend Thursday and Friday sitting around Methven instead of snowboarding while Mt Hutt receives 40cm of snow. In this time I hook up with some cool people and drink red wine in front of a fireplace, engage in childlike snowfights, attend a local house party, and get down to some serious novel reading. Damn, I was relaxed.

On Saturday I hit the re-opened Mt Hutt hard and have a great day on a lovely cover of fresh powder. Jump a bus back to Christchurch immediately afterwards so I can take a flight to Queenstown early Sunday morning.

Monday through Thursday I snowboard at Coronet Peak (three days) and The Remarkables (one day). Both mountains have around 60cm of packed snow; icy and shitty at The Remarkables apart from a few good off-piste runs you could hike to, and not too bad at Coronet which provided a fun playground off the groomed runs and away from the beginner carnage.

After toasting my last run with a mini-whiskey on Thursday I finished my 1L duty free bottle that night, which meant it was time to come home.

GrodsCorp will now resume regular broadcasting.