GrodsCorp

Top six Big Brother ‘08 auditions

Monday 17 December 2007, 7:06 pm

The Editor

Categories: Bogans, Television

Tags: audition, BigBrother

I have a terrible admission to make. I’ve been cruising the Big Brother website watching audition tapes for the 2008 show uploaded by famewhore hopefuls. I just navigated to the site out of curiosity to watch one or two but the series of amateur, two minute pleas for attention are like a train wreck on steroids. Here are The Editor’s top six BB08 audition tapes so far.

NUMBER SIX: Julie

Old bat

This old bat reckons that putting her on the show will instantly make the 90% of the population who don’t watch the show watch the show. Thankfully she promises not to “shower nuddy” if selected.

NUMBER FIVE: Nick

19 year old Nick is a DJ whose life revolves around music, who was once Vice Captain of his school, and who “doesn’t start fights but will finish them.” He looks like he’s about the glass the camera man. Oh, and he reckons he’s “qwerky” (sic).

NUMBER FOUR: Kellie

Ooooh special

This fruitcake has found a special effect on her computer’s inbuilt camera and thinks its overuse will earn her selection as a housemate. She seems to have a vocabulary restricted to childish noises.

NUMBER THREE: Attilio

Wanker

This idiot is your garden variety attention seeker who claims he hates “being fake” but spends two minutes in this video being fake by doing shithouse impersonations and a “baboon dance”.

NUMBER TWO: Tiffany

Put it away!

When I watched this video I threw up a little bit in my mouth. Tiffany shows us her “third breast” and puts her fist in her mouth. A must see.

NUMBER ONE: Billy

Introducing Billy

But the winner is Billy. A guy who is… well… just random. Words cannot explain how lame this dude is. Another must see.

10 Comments

John Surname (Monday 17 December 2007, 7:26 pm) #

Losers with too much time on their hands, all of them.
Tom Violence (Monday 17 December 2007, 7:26 pm) #

Billy William sews socks.

And also, is sexy.
brokenleftleg (Monday 17 December 2007, 9:17 pm) #

I can’t believe tiffany thinks her bingo wings will make her famous.
Jeremy (Monday 17 December 2007, 10:00 pm) #

Come on, Billy has to be a pisstake. It’s performance art.
Adam (Monday 17 December 2007, 11:10 pm) #

I think I speak for all Grodscorp fans when I say that Lachlan Connor and/or the Editor should submit a video to Big Brother, then post a link to it here so we can track his success/demise.
Ant Rogenous (Tuesday 18 December 2007, 3:29 pm) #

You’ve gotta love how Tiffany’s third breast refuses to get back inside her top once she’s unleashed it.
John Surname (Tuesday 18 December 2007, 5:02 pm) #

If only real breasts were like that.
Mikey (Friday 21 December 2007, 6:40 pm) #

Billy is pure gold. Wish there was a mention of German scientologists though.

“Nein I said, NEIN!”
John Surname (Friday 21 December 2007, 11:38 pm) #

I can’t decide who I hate more. The idiot in the hat, the idiot with the disappointing breast, the guy with the arse crack, the idiot with the starwipe action, or the moron with the webcam “effects”. The sooner people like this are killed by anthrax, the better.
krypto (Monday 31 December 2007, 7:51 pm) #

futurama and simpsons repeats aside, does anyone know of ANYTHING on channel ten that IS worth even one single solitary nob of goat shit?