grodscorp@grods.comRegrets? He’s had a few
 | Posted by Ant Rogenous on Tuesday 29 January 2008, 1:37 am Categories: Blogosphere Tags: BadPoetry, indignity, JohnRay |
This post, by pseudo-academic, racist wingnut and man-of-a-thousand-insane-blogs “Dr” John Ray, is the most unintentionally hilarious thing I’ve read in years.
Ricky Gervais, eat your heart out.
UPDATE: I take it back. His poetry is even funnier. Here’s a taste:
SWEET MUSIC
Ting tong, tingtong
The air melts in song
The song of sad happiness
The song of old sadnessSlow, fast, slowfast
The word of the last
Man on earth singing
A song heavenwards winging.
Vogons the universe over are writhing in disgust.
Further reading: The Happy Revolutionary demolished John Ray in this post last year — still a terrific (and amusing) read for those who haven’t seen it.
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 9:39 am #THR
Thank’s for the link, Ant.
The crypto-fascist poetry is truly execrable:
In your Roman nose is pride that never dies
And your heart is pure as your supple skin is fair.
The ideal woman - pure-hearted and, uh, fair-skinned.
The gap between rightist dogma and genuine fascism gets closer by the day, with the AWH guys openly linking to the white supremacist ‘Anglo-Australian Council’ as it they were an authoritative source:
http://awesternheart.blogspot.com/2008/01/muslim-siege-of-liverpool-hospital.html
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 10:26 am #Wah
That poem is almost as good as:
“Pointy birds”
O pointy birds, o pointy pointy,
Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 12:26 pm #Ant Rogenous
Another racist fuckwit once described John Ray as “an avatar of wisdom and an inspiration” (in the comment thread here). It’s fair to say I nearly laughed a brand-new hole in my arse.
Wah, that’d be the work of England’s greatest one-armed poet, if I’m not mistaken.
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 12:47 pm #Wah
It’s one thing to say you like chicks with blue eyes, but it’s another to sprout the desire for an Arian nation.
The fact he had to qualify himself as “not really a racist” by crapping on about his love of India shows that even he thinks he’s a bigited fuckwit.
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 1:02 pm #Ant Rogenous
I’m not sure what’s funnier: his invocation of the feeble “how can I be racist if I’ve got brown friends” defence, or his shameless begging for a D.Sc from his three alma maters. Champagne comedy.
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 3:16 pm #Skeptic
Wah
thanks for a classic piece of Steve Martin (I cannot remember the film, was it the Man with 2 Brains?).
I always thought it was a, ahem, dirty little ditty but maybe that’s just my own perverted mind.
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 5:37 pm #Bridgit Gread
SWEET MUSIC
Ting tong, tingtong
The air melts in song…
In the same calibre as:
Hear the words I sing
War’s a horrid thing
So I sing, sing, sing
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Tuesday 29 January 2008, 11:01 pm #The Editor
Rick from The Young Ones did better poetry than John Ray’s.
Wednesday 30 January 2008, 6:48 am #Damian
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
I like traffic lights
But not when they are read
Wednesday 30 January 2008, 6:55 am #Damian
Heh. And here I am mocking the poor bloke with typos in my own comments. For shame.
Wednesday 30 January 2008, 7:02 am #The Editor
I prefer the ambiguity of “read”.
Wednesday 30 January 2008, 6:53 pm #krypto
I seem to remember Ralph Wiggam from the Simpsons penning a much better verse which went…
“my ding-a-ling
my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with
my ding-a-ling”
Is this guy really getting around with a baloney Dr. title?
Oh those zany right wing loonies, it’s only a matter of time before right wing ideologies are given their rightful place as a recognised thought disorder in the diagnostic and statistical manual (DSM)isn’t it?
Wednesday 30 January 2008, 7:22 pm #THR
The DSM already has them well covered…
‘Schizophrenia (with Paranoid features)’
‘Histrionic Personality Disorder’
And I’m sure there are plenty of others. Of course, sheer fuckwittery needn’t have a medical title attached to it to be diagnosable in these guys.
Wednesday 30 January 2008, 8:44 pm #The Editor
My favourite bit of (Dr) Ray’s article is this paragraph:
And because I have explained to him how to make money on the stockmarket, my son should have a financially comfortable future. What millions of people would like to know my son just got told casually one morning by his father. As a certain wise Jew once said: “To him that hath, more will be given him”.
I just love the way that JR so casually implies that he’s cracked the stockmarket and that the secret can be communicated while eating cornflakes. He should have another PhD just for that.
Then there’s the quote. John, John, John. (* Shakes head *) It’s bad enough that you beg for honourary doctorates but — for fuck’s sake — comparing yourself to Jesus?
Wednesday 30 January 2008, 9:24 pm #Which one is Pink?
Maggie from Extras on the stockmarket:
“Buy high, sell low… No no no Buy low, sell high!”
Pretty fucken simple. Johnny.
Now let me get back to having a lot to do with those from the female persuasion. Although it is pretty hard being surrounded by brown men all the time who, may I add, are: tall, well built and socially pleasant.
Thursday 31 January 2008, 12:08 am #THR
Looks like AWH are fighting back, and have issued a bounty for the Grods team:
http://awesternheart.blogspot.com/2008/01/lucky-me.html
The rightist’s call is clarion
Slowfast, tingtong, and Aryan
Thursday 31 January 2008, 3:37 am #Sean Morris
As Hayek and Popper (both Austrians and both first hand observers of the rise of fascism) pointed out there is not a massive difference between national socialism and state socialism, and to point it out gets you only abuse, but then again Marx was never a philosopher was he?
Ill give you a clue, road to surfdom and the chapter on the socialist roots of nazism, by Hayek just after the war (thats nobel prize winner Friedrich Hayek, for the uncultured)
btw do you guys understand the difference between culture and race?
Thursday 31 January 2008, 4:31 am #Sean Morris
HOW NICE OF ME, IVE FOUND YOU AN ONLINE LINK TO THE SOCIALIST ROOTS OF NAZISM
http://www.word-gems.com/wealth.hayek.roots.html
Thursday 31 January 2008, 5:48 am #Damian
G’day Sean. What are you talking about?
Thursday 31 January 2008, 7:41 am #The Editor
Perhaps Sean lost the point of his comments when he lost his apostrophe key.
Thursday 31 January 2008, 2:25 pm #Ant Rogenous
THR, about that bounty — Panday’s post reads like an entry to an “Illustrate hypocrisy in 40 words or less” competition:
Interesting, the kind of mutual, online masturbation in which Grod and the Pollutionary engage. I’ll buy a bottle of Scotch for anyone who can publish their photos (complete with captions implying pedophilia) and home addresses.
This, at a site where most of the contributors cross-post and link to each other’s appalling blogs incessantly — under initials and pseudonyms, with avatars of stills from 300 and the like.
My sides!
Thursday 31 January 2008, 8:58 pm #Mikey
That’s great stuff. How dare you denigrate such finery?!