grodscorp@grods.comAdults-only cricket
 | Posted by Scott on Monday 11 February 2008, 9:24 pm Categories: Sport, Weird shit Tags: cricket, DrinksBreak, Fleshlight |
Went to see Australia vs. India at the MCG yesterday and was astounded to see how far Cricket Australia is willing to go to tap new revenue streams. As usual there was advertising and cross-promotion everywhere from sponsorship of fours to ownership of the boundary rope. However, all of the companies represented on the pitch were extremely family friendly until the umpire called drinks.
When this came out.
Don’t bother with that Gatorade stuff; quench your cricket thirst with…
…a fleshlight.
Monday 11 February 2008, 9:48 pm #Wah
You sir are one sick puppy and for that I hold you in the highest regard.
Please tell me you yelled out to all and sundry around you “that drink trolly looks like a giant vag’!”
All we needed to see was Tony Greig jump in and out of it and we wuld have had the set.
Monday 11 February 2008, 9:55 pm #The Editor
Please tell me you yelled out to all and sundry around you “that drink trolly looks like a giant vag’!”
You know I did.
Monday 11 February 2008, 9:59 pm #Ant Rogenous
Awesome!
But remember: if Shane Warne weren’t retired, it would only have been the second-biggest cunt on the field.
Monday 11 February 2008, 10:00 pm #Wah
Great work old man!
Hopefully small children had to ask their parents what a vag’ was.
You are a credit to the noble profession of teaching.
Monday 11 February 2008, 10:02 pm #Wah
Harbhajan can look a little phallic sometimes.
I liked on the TV coverage they showed Mitchell Johnson eating a banana on the boundary, perhaps to get some potassium in his body - I prayed they’d show Symonds eating a banana, I really did.
Monday 11 February 2008, 10:52 pm #Mikey
Dude, that is gold. I didn’t even know such products exist - and I live in Canberra!
Monday 11 February 2008, 11:40 pm #kat
well, they have to make cricket more interesting somehow.
Monday 11 February 2008, 11:55 pm #Ray Dixon
Look, if you’re gunna make a fake vagina why bother putting in a clit? It’s not like the ‘fleshlight’ can feel anything and it just gets in the way.
Monday 11 February 2008, 11:59 pm #Ray Dixon
(you don’t see balls on dildos!)
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:43 am #Magic Bellybutton
Ray, I beg to differ.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:47 am #Magic Bellybutton
Oh, and can I add this?
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 1:09 am #THR
Ah Ray,
You think you’ve won this round of comments,
Then MB brings out balls.
(Though I must say I was rather surprised about that foot clitoris ad - WTF? Are there a whole gaggle of eligible bachelorettes going around with clitoral feet, or are toys just weird these days?)
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 1:23 am #Bob
Wow. What a post.
Most be a new low… even for this site.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 1:25 am #THR
Maybe some of the higher-minded contributers to this site can say a word or two at this blog:
http://www.themidnightsun.org/?p=1868
Tell me, who, honestly, is not aroused at the prospect of J-Ho and bagpipes???
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 2:19 am #krypto
MBB please tell me we weren’t just privvy to the contents of your bottom bedside drawer.
Incidentally Ed. I thought that drinks trolly looked like a rubber vagina too although I believe the correct term is “masturbation sleeve” (btw have you heard the Rodney Rude song “rubber vagina”? it’s a pisser, not literally of course…it’s made of rubber).
Oh and MBB…this really must be said…WTF IS WITH THOSE FEET??!!??
Are there really so many people around who find a severed foot sexually arousing enough that a manufacturer included an artificial cleaver in one????!!!!???? I was a LOT happier not knowing that, a LOT happier.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 7:08 am #The Editor
Straight to the pool room, Bob.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 7:16 am #Magic Bellybutton
Rest assured Krypto, you weren’t. Don’t ask me about the feet, I just discover and share, I don’t explain.
Of course, if you don’t have a thing for the vag, there is this, a variation on the vagina fleshlight.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 7:31 am #Wah
I’m dying to click on MBB’s links, I really am. But I’m at work and value my job.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 7:56 am #The Editor
Perhaps we should place a large “NSFW” logo in the blog header?
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 11:35 am #Ray Dixon
Well OK MB, so SOME dildos have balls attached. But there’s a practical reason for that, it gives you something to hold onto, more leverage and ‘thrusting power’ … a sort-of ‘handle’.
But what’s the point of the clit on the fleshlight? Is that so you can give it oral? I bet the fleshlight really appreciates it when some creep goes down on it.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 11:45 am #Ray Dixon
Oh, I’ve just worked it out. The fleshlight is an ‘educational tool’ (pardon the pun). The clit’s there to teach men where it is … or to let them know it exists. The aim is to raise the curiosity level (ie “What’s this little thing for?”).
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:08 pm #Magic Bellybutton
Like I said, I just show, I don’t tell.
Problem with the fleshlight being an “educational tool” is while it does show guys where the clit is, since it won’t provoke any reaction they will assume it is of no use and when finally confronted with the real thing will ignore it. They’ll then be subsequently dumped and have to go back to their fleshlight - it being the only “woman” who understands and appreciates them…
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:14 pm #Terry Wright
Oh dear…
I know little Johnny likes cricket but to have the drinks trolly dressed up in his honour is too much.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:21 pm #krypto
back in a former life I trained as a midwife, anyway we had these “training aids” which were basically a variant on the “fleshlight” but with varyingly dilated cervixes (cervi perhaps?)it was grim I can tell you.
Anyway MBB, if ever I was going to have need of the fleshlight variant you linked to, it was then.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:24 pm #krypto
perhaps if the fleshlight incorporated some kind of light and sound buzzer it would be a more effective educational device, kind of like a version of that board game “operation” only with it’s own website for devotees no doubt.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:28 pm #Magic Bellybutton
Terry - LOL!
Krypto - At Sexpo last year we found a vibrator that made groaning sounds - they got louder the higher the speed.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 12:33 pm #krypto
you know, you THINK you’re a man of the world…
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 4:25 pm #Bridgit Gread
Look, if you’re gunna make a fake vagina why bother putting in a clit? It’s not like the ‘fleshlight’ can feel anything and it just gets in the way.
Congratulations, Ray, on knowing what a clitoris is, what it looks like and where to find it - when it comes to males, you are in the minority.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 4:30 pm #krypto
pfffff there’s no such thing as a clitoris anyway, it’s just some fanciful traveller’s tale like the hydra, or the kraaken.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 4:35 pm #Skeptic
What’s a
clut, no sorry, aclitah fuck it, what’s that button over there for?Tuesday 12 February 2008, 4:37 pm #The Editor
I’ve heard rumours about this clitorimi-thingy.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 6:48 pm #Magic Bellybutton
“Clitorimi” - sounds like some perverted version of origami.
Which I suppose it is, or can be.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 8:38 pm #Bridgit Gread
Sounds more like a sushi dish to me.
(Queue bad-taste joke)
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 9:34 pm #Magic Bellybutton
Imagine going to Sushi Train for that!
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 10:41 pm #Bron
That drinks thing looks like a vag to you folks?
Oh dear. I’m all alone in thinking it looks like … er… the other hole.
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 11:21 pm #The Editor
Oh, for the LOVE OF GOD, BRIDGIT! My EARS!!!!!!!1!!!!11!!!1!!
Tuesday 12 February 2008, 11:54 pm #Bridgit Gread
Huh?
Wednesday 13 February 2008, 12:35 am #Ray Dixon
Congratulations, Ray, on knowing what a clitoris is, what it looks like and where to find it …
…. and what to do with it.
Wednesday 13 February 2008, 6:49 am #The Editor
Oh, shit. Wrong comment thread, Bridgit. Was supposed to be in response to your comment in the Aus2020 post about Nelson’s guitar skillz.
Wednesday 13 February 2008, 10:30 am #Bridgit Gread
Ed, Youtube had a cover of a Creedence song that was arguably worse. Sadly it seems to have been taken down or I would show it to you. You know I would.
And Ray? Far too much information.
Wednesday 13 February 2008, 2:51 pm #krypto
MBB how the HELL do you find this stuff? are you on some kind of sex offender’s register or do you work for the censorship bureau or something? Maybe you like randomly punched in “porno” and “origami” into a search engine?
If so can you walk me through the thought process that leads to doing that?
You are like the Garry Kasparov of porn links, I TOTALLY did not see that coming.