GrodsCorp

That explains it

Sunday 2 March 2008, 11:14 am

The Editor

Categories: Education

Tags: JohnSurname, prostitution

Has anybody else noticed that John Surname (Surnaam, Tsunami etc.) has been unusually quiet over the last few weeks? I think I’ve found the explanation.

HUNDREDS of university students in Victoria have turned to prostitution to pay their way through higher education, The Sunday Age has learnt.

And why not? John’s a good lookin’ guy with a tight bod and a way with words. What better way to pay for those expensive textbooks and living expenses and have time left over for study?

When contacted for comment regarding this story John said that his employer will give a discount to anybody who mentions “GrodsCorp” when making their booking.

39 Comments

John Surname (Sunday 2 March 2008, 11:20 am) #

Ripped off! I’ve been doing it for free!
The Editor (Sunday 2 March 2008, 11:22 am) #

To build up your CV?
John Surname (Sunday 2 March 2008, 11:28 am) #

Something like that.
Ant Rogenous (Sunday 2 March 2008, 1:02 pm) #

“We’re happy to have them and try to provide an environment which supports them. That means that if it’s quiet and they’re not with a client we allow them to get out their laptops and study in a spare room.”

Is this pimp implying that if they weren’t uni students, they’d be required to do some other form of work while they weren’t servicing clients? Change lightbulbs, wash manchester, make wallets, etc?

How benevolent.
magic bellybutton (Sunday 2 March 2008, 1:20 pm) #

Glen Barnes, general manager at Melbourne’s largest brothel, the Daily Planet, said that university students often made the best workers.

Well, at least we know they’re working hard *ahem* in some aspect of their life, other than drinking heavily.
Mikey (Sunday 2 March 2008, 6:35 pm) #

Will he do a Cleavland Steamer?
The Editor (Sunday 2 March 2008, 6:42 pm) #

The best Cleveland Steamer you’ve ever experienced for a mere $150 ($135 for GrodsCorp readers.)
Ant Rogenous (Sunday 2 March 2008, 7:33 pm) #

You can’t beat that value.
Mikey (Sunday 2 March 2008, 8:10 pm) #

Is it less for cash?
The Editor (Sunday 2 March 2008, 8:11 pm) #

You bet.
Bridgit Gread (Sunday 2 March 2008, 9:11 pm) #

Dare I ask what a Cleveland Steamer actually is? (I know I’m going to regret finding out…)
The Editor (Sunday 2 March 2008, 9:12 pm) #

Ask Mikey. He started it.
keri (Monday 3 March 2008, 10:05 am) #

Is it just me that finds it disturbing that it’s only the boys that seem interested in the services he has to offer?
Ant Rogenous (Monday 3 March 2008, 10:27 am) #

I dunno, Keri — Bridgit’s been making some preliminary enquiries.
keri (Monday 3 March 2008, 11:26 am) #

Well, if they’re all paying customers, I suppose you can’t really complain, can you?
John Surname (Monday 3 March 2008, 4:40 pm) #

“Is it just me that finds it disturbing that it’s only the boys that seem interested in the services he has to offer?”

Oh really? What an odd thing to say.
keri (Monday 3 March 2008, 4:49 pm) #

Oh, italics! Spare me!
Bron (Monday 3 March 2008, 5:23 pm) #

Will someone please tell us what the hell a Cleveland Steamer is?

Goddamned italics!
Ant Rogenous (Monday 3 March 2008, 5:43 pm) #

Bron, go to http://www.urbandictionary.com and look it up. I can’t even bring myself to link to it.
Bron (Monday 3 March 2008, 6:06 pm) #

Wait a sec… I’m eating chocolate and it’s really nice. I’ll look it up later (the fact you can’t bring yourself to link to it tells me it’s really, really, really bad!).
Bridgit Gread (Monday 3 March 2008, 6:15 pm) #

Right, I have looked it up now.
I believe Hitler was into that kind of thing, then again he was a leftist.
Bron (Monday 3 March 2008, 6:20 pm) #

THAT’S DISGUSTING. YOU MEN ARE ABSOLUTE FILTHY, DEPRAVED, OXYGEN-DEPRIVED FREAKS.
Ant Rogenous (Monday 3 March 2008, 6:43 pm) #

I can’t tell you how glad I am that you finished your chocolate first, Bron.
Bridgit Gread (Monday 3 March 2008, 7:25 pm) #

And I wasn’t aware that oxygen deprivation leads you to pick up crass poo-sex terminology.
krypto (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 12:42 am) #

you know Family Guy snuck a reference to a “Cleaveland steamer” past the censorship people by just playing dumb and pretending it was just something they made up.
Gold.
I know I’m going to cause offense here, but academia and prostitution are just flip sides of the same coin anyway.
Just look at “Dr” tingtong, fucked in the head if anyone ever was.
keri (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 9:18 am) #

““Is it just me that finds it disturbing that it’s only the boys that seem interested in the services he has to offer?”

Oh really? What an odd thing to say.”

Okay, I’ll re-phrase. Interested in paying for the services you have to offer. Better?
Bron (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 9:52 am) #

So, any more disgusting things I should look up today?
The Editor (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 9:55 am) #

You could check out the Liberal Party or Family First websites…
keri (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 9:57 am) #

Felching? That’s the most disgusting thing I can think of off the top of my head. Apart from the Editors suggestions, which are truly, truly sick.
krypto (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 10:54 am) #

two words Bron, pink sock.(urban dictionary’ll have it)
Incidentally I reckon that should be Mr. 7% Brendan Nelson’s new nickname.
Bron (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 10:56 am) #

Ah yeah, I’ve already been directed to a sample of felching by a very nice friend of mine, a few months back.

Sad but true: I thought felching was a pun on belching, so I declared to all and sundry that it’s just bum burping.

Lesson of the Week: Keep your mouth shut, no matter how pissed you are.
John Surname (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 12:45 pm) #

Line up girls.
Bron (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 1:49 pm) #

How do you people know these things like “pink sock”?! That was revolting. Just as well I’ve just finished lunch, even if it’s not fully digested.
Ant Rogenous (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 2:41 pm) #

Craig is a wealth of knowledge — he’s really opened my eyes.
keri (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 4:22 pm) #

I’d say “I’ll bet that’s not all he’s opened”, but that’s too crass, even for me.
Ant Rogenous (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 4:52 pm) #

Thank god you didn’t say it.
keri (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 8:21 am) #

I know, I’m a model of self-restraint.
krypto (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 1:23 pm) #

yes Bron, it’s enough to convert you to a lifetime of sock-free sandal wearing isn’t it?
The urban dictionary has links between definitions, a list of synonyms as I recall, that’s the ONLY reason I know what that horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE term means.
krypto (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 1:26 pm) #

try “angry pirate” Bron, that’s fun