GrodsCorp

Speaking of charming pets…

Tuesday 4 March 2008, 11:47 am

Ant Rogenous

Categories: Dogs

Tags: BumSniffing, embarrassment, soccer

Last night I was walking my dog around the local park, where there’s a soccer club and several pitches. A young women’s team was playing a practice match on one of them.

As we walked around this pitch, my dog noticed a player taking a breather from training. She was on the outside of the pitch, leaning her forearms on the waist-high fence and watching the match. He bounded off towards her, as he does when he sees anyone at the park — and as he’s a gentle, friendly hound, I saw no cause for concern.

Neither did the girl, at first. She turned around and gave him a quick pat on the head, then turned back to the match. And that’s when the trouble started.

Suddenly he registered an interesting scent. He began sniffing at the air around the oblivious victim, then gradually — cautiously — turned his attention to her legs.

I sensed strife but was about 20 metres away. I walked as briskly as possible towards them and began calling out to him to come to me — to no avail.

I was about five metres away by the time he threw caution to the wind and zeroed in on the source of the scent. And it wasn’t your dainty “what a lovely rose”-type sniffing either — it was like a vacuum cleaner sucking biscuit crumbs from between couch cushions.

It’s hard to say what startled her more — my yelling or a large dog’s snout up her arse. She was remarkably good-humoured about the incident, but I’m not sure who was more embarrassed as I clipped the lead on my dog, apologised profusely and dragged the dirty bastard away.

A short time later, when I’d judged that we were far enough away, I unclipped my dog’s lead — and, you guessed it, back he ran for one last desperate, lunging crack at her.

She was far less amused the second time around.

14 Comments

The Editor (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 11:49 am) #

Bloody hell. This is one of those tricky situations where my desire to laugh is almost outweighed by my embarrassment for the victim.

Almost.
Wah (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 11:57 am) #

Reminds me of a German movie I once saw.

If he bit her he’d be put down. So sexual assault is OK is it?
E Rogenous (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 12:21 pm) #

Ant, did you realise that the picture on the left of our darling pooch is from when he’d been “vacuuming” the kitty litter box, seeking out tasty treats? Notice the white powder all over his nose…

This is one classy dog, I say!
Ant Rogenous (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 12:26 pm) #

His snorting problem has led to a crack habit. We should’ve called him Ben.
Magic Bellybutton (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 12:31 pm) #

Dog of a friend of mine greets you with a snout up the butt. He’s a german shepherd/rottweiler cross so is the perfect height for it.

Love the dog Ant. I’d love a Weimerander.
Bron (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 12:33 pm) #

Wow, he’s certainly got a nose for it!
Wah (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 1:18 pm) #

German dogs, German films, I think there’s a pattern emerging.

Ant if your dog ever lays plastic sheeting on the living room floor under the glass coffee table just get out of the house!
E Rogenous (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 1:34 pm) #

He hasn’t been laying plastic sheeting… just the odd cable when he’s not happy with us.

… again, German films, German dogs… hmmm…
joe2 (Tuesday 4 March 2008, 9:21 pm) #

Weimerander….dumb blonde of the doggy world.
Mikey (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 12:19 am) #

Dude, that was totally a conversation starter.

Did you get her number?
Ray Dixon (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 1:39 am) #

Two animal stories in one day! (three if you count Mr 7%).
Is this the leftist blogging version of the HeraldSun?
The Editor (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 7:44 am) #

Is this the leftist blogging version of the HeraldSun?

It’s worse than that.
Lang (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 6:14 pm) #

A Weimaraner or a GSP only sniff crutches ’cause they think it’s grouse.
krypto (Wednesday 5 March 2008, 11:10 pm) #

he’s a Weimerana yeah? Nice.

I used to have this Doberman, I was visiting this chick I was sweet on and had bugga-lugs in tow.
He’s off the leash in the house and damned if this dawg didn’t make a bee-line for this chick’s flat mate’s room.
This chick’s flat-mate is a hottie Norwegian chick who just happens to be in bed starkers.
This dog dives straight under the covers with her.
I know dog’s aren’t supposed to smile but old Lou was grinning like a cheshire cat whne he got out of that room (in his own time, I wasn’t going to go chasing after him) Honestly I thought his head was going to fall in half he was smiling so much.

Next time you hear someone whinge and say “it’s a dog’s life” give ‘em an Abe Lincoln