GrodsCorp

Team of the century unveiled

Thursday 20 March 2008, 1:36 pm

Ant Rogenous

Categories: Sport

Tags: GroupThinkFC, IndoorSoccer, uniform

Last night The Editor, Jeremy Sear, myself and a handful of ~~groupthinking communists~~ likeminded bloggers began our campaign to take out, for the glory of Teh Left and David Hicks (peace be upon him), a suburban indoor soccer championship.

Our team name is, of course, GroupThinkFC, and the preliminary designs for our uniform have just come back from a Chinese sweatshop.

We’re hoping to have the shirts made up as soon as possible, so your thoughts and comments would be most appreciated — none of us has ever made a decision without the endorsement of Teh Left in its entirety, and we’re bloody well not about to start now.

37 Comments

The Editor (Thursday 20 March 2008, 1:41 pm) #

Bags the ;;;; guernsey.
Wah (Thursday 20 March 2008, 1:58 pm) #

Well done Ant. The use of the hammer and sickle is genius - and I don’t use that word lightly.
I think a logo with the said sickle decapitating a baby would add a nice touch.

I bags an MK guernsey.
Bron (Thursday 20 March 2008, 2:03 pm) #

Hmm, hmmm, choices, choices.

I’ll take Number 4 - the number I’d use if I ever got selected on Deal or No Deal.

Even if it has to be Akerman. Ewww.
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 2:05 pm) #

Wah, the MK guernsey comes with a custom bib and matching nappy.
Bron (Thursday 20 March 2008, 2:34 pm) #

Does the Akerman guernsey come with a floured rolled up twenny note?
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 2:40 pm) #

Yes, but it’s hidden in a 20-piece-feed bucket of KFC and you have to find it yourself.
EC (Thursday 20 March 2008, 2:41 pm) #

Who’s Aurora?
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 2:43 pm) #

Glad you asked, EC! Here’s a taste of her genius (plus more in comments).
EC (Thursday 20 March 2008, 2:54 pm) #

Oh dear.
skeptic (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:03 pm) #

I think you need more female representation on the team - cvos I’m a lefty and that’s how I look at any situation.

Even bettter if we can find a righty-non-caucasian-female-blogger.

Failing that, I nominate one Janet Albrechtsen.
Bron (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:09 pm) #

“Yes, but it’s hidden in a 20-piece-feed bucket of KFC and you have to find it yourself.” — but isn’t that for the Landeryou guernsey?
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:12 pm) #

We costed a Landeryou guernsey but realised we wouldn’t have enough money for fabric.
Bron (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:15 pm) #

You’re so mean, Ant Rogenous.

My hero!
Jeremy (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:27 pm) #

I think Albrechtsen trumps Aurora. Devine?

I’m still not sure about having those clowns on the actual shirts though. How about LEFTY, ED, CADE, ANT etc?
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:33 pm) #

I like the idea of implicating them in a “Leftist plot” of sorts. In the unlikely event that we win matches, they’ll have inspired us. When we lose, it’ll be because we’re wearing the names of some of the most contemptible lowlifes on the internets.

It’s win/win.
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:35 pm) #

I like the idea of DEVINE too, by the way. But having her on the team might make it very tricky for BOLT to be effective — I can only imagine how difficult it is to play while sporting an erection.
Jeremy (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:37 pm) #

I get that, but I still think it’ll be doing their egos more good than harm.

I think our actual pseudonyms would be less disturbing. And seriously, making me play soccer whilst wearing that particular bloke’s name on my back?

Oh, yeah. Did you hear about his Lifetime Immunity offer? I have to admit to being tempted.
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:42 pm) #

You actually need to possess some honour before you’re capable of honouring a promise. I wouldn’t bank on Timmeh being true to his word.
Damian (Thursday 20 March 2008, 3:57 pm) #

Fucken awesome work, Ant!

J may have a point about the ego bit, though. Remember Blair was loving the whole “blog like a fuckwit day” thing.
Jack Cade (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:01 pm) #

Great shirts. Although I’ll find it hard to pick one!!!
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:07 pm) #

Maybe we should award them based on merit, Jack:

* Dirty tactics will put you in the running for BOLT or BLAIR
* Gross incompetence will earn you the ;;;; guernsey
* Inability to remember the rules of the game will score you BERTRAND
* Running out of puff after 30 seconds will guarantee you AKERMAN
* Demonic possession will put you in the AURORA shirt, of course
Dave from Albury (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:07 pm) #

I think that you guys are all missing one very important point. Surely that mob would refuse to refer to Soccer as Football, because that’s a leftist plot to destroy the Australian language and identity currently being pursued by the Faifaxista, so you can’s ne an FC.
kat (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:08 pm) #

Have you invited Hicks to captain the side?
silpheed (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:12 pm) #

#4 is in the wrong size.
Damian (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:16 pm) #

Kat, that’s a good idea. Maybe Dick Smith can coach.
EC (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:21 pm) #

“Demonic possession will put you in the AURORA shirt, of course”

Ha! That’ll be another latte coming outta my nose Ant.

More with the questions, Jeremy what’s the Lifetime Immunity offer?
Suburban Marxist (Thursday 20 March 2008, 4:31 pm) #

That is so sweet…I want a set!
Damian (Thursday 20 March 2008, 5:01 pm) #

I’m with you, SM. I want a miniature one with a key ring on it.
Bridgit Gread (Thursday 20 March 2008, 5:42 pm) #

The only remaining task is to identify positions for each. How about:

Bolt - right
Blair - far right
Aurora - wing (nut)
Akerman - left right out
;;;; - goal keaper
brokenleftleg (Thursday 20 March 2008, 6:54 pm) #

Two points about this team.
1. It’s going to get flogged because they will only ever play on the right side of the pitch.

2. Why isn’t Alan Jones in the side? Could it have something to do with post match hygiene practices, and others not willing to participate in righty group activities?
Leon Bertrand (Thursday 20 March 2008, 9:21 pm) #

Actually, you got the wrong preliminary designs.

How do I know? Because, me, Bolt, Blair and Akerman were organising our own indoor soccer team.

You must have decided to exploit the same sweatshop workers we did, because the name wasn’t supposed to be Groupthink FC. It was actually supposed to be Quadrant FC. We thought it was a good name since we consider ourselves to be a rather attacking team, and most of the time our players are right wing strikers and right wingers.

Wondering how your jerseys were so cheap? We put every worker in that factory on an AWA. Yes, Australian Workplace Agreements exist in China too.

Whilst it’s true, as one commenter has noted, that Akerman’s position is left-right out, he will considerably assist the team by sledging across the field, cricket style.

We would be happy to play you in a match. But we insist that the game be held in Perth so that we can all maximise our carbon footprints to counter the extreme coolness which has recently afflicted the globe.
brokenleftleg (Thursday 20 March 2008, 9:47 pm) #

Hey Leon,
Much better putting Piers in goal and having Jones on the sideline yelling “discipline boys discipline eeeer” and “ref, look how the other team is playing, It’s a disgrace. errrrr”
Terry Wright (Thursday 20 March 2008, 9:57 pm) #

Bridgit Gread: The only remaining task is to identify positions for each.
How about:

Bolt - right
Blair - far right
Aurora - wing (nut)
Akerman - left right out
;;;; - goal keaper

Literal LOL. So loud in fact, I surprised my dogs who barked back at me in response. Very funny indeed.
- - -

brokenleftleg: Why isn’t Alan Jones in the side?
I think some details were missing BLL:

Head Coach - Alan Jones (MK is giving Head
Coach some tips)
Umpires - The Bolt blog moderators
Commentary - U.S. guests at Tim Blair’s blog
Drinks boy / Trainee commentator / Junior flag waver - Elijah
Security(BYO weapon) - KG’s Mum
Team song - Lyrics by Dr. Tingtong. Music & banjo playing by ;;;; ;;;;
Tracksuits - Supplied by Kirribilli House (love to John Howard for donation)
Teem transport - Suplied by; Noddy;s Transport ply LTd inc. company; .com

*NOTE: All scoring can be done by Piers Ackerman if required
Bridgit Gread (Thursday 20 March 2008, 10:14 pm) #

I like the sound of a Tingtong club song:

The whoooosh! pffff! of the leathery sphere
Fresh dew on grass, scuffed, splattered
Young legs pumping, old hearts thumping
Eeeiiiiiiiiii! Siren’s sounding, did won.
Terry Wright (Thursday 20 March 2008, 10:42 pm) #

Agghhhh HAHAHA

Bridgit Gread:
Young legs pumping, old hearts thumping
Eeeiiiiiiiiii! Siren’s sounding, did won.

Oh Bridget, you crack me up.
The images, the images … stop it.
Way too funny.
krypto (Friday 21 March 2008, 12:41 am) #

you know there’s only one logical place this’ll end up…in a series of action figures.
The better “collectable” figures have a series of catch phrases programmed into them enabling them to “speak”.
Something like this might be the go.
Ant Rogenous (Friday 21 March 2008, 10:17 am) #

Shorter Leon: “SOMEONE NOTICED ME!”