grodscorp@grods.comThe Death of the Fleshlights
 | Posted by Bron on Friday 28 March 2008, 6:21 pm Categories: Weird shit Tags: Fleshlight, OffensiveObjects, tryhards |
As I’m the new kid on the block, I figure the only way to get people to sit up and notice, well, me is to become an upstart right from the, er, start.
Knowing how important The Fleshlight (do a search if you’re new and have no idea what a Fleshlight is, there are plenty of boyish posts on it) is to the lads and the laddish louts who read this blog, I am hoping to upset delicate feelings by bringing in a new competition: The Penis Flash Light. (Yours for only $6!)
Of course, it’s doomed to failure. It just doesn’t have that same name that rolls off the tongue like “Fleshlight” does. (No gratuitous jokes about it literally rolling off the tongue, please, gentlemen).
If it had a sensible yet catchy name (submissions please), it might just be the next big thing. On GrodsCorp only, of course.
GrodsThink Ep.31 (16/9/08)
Friday 28 March 2008, 6:26 pm #The Editor
Ant, John and I are all sadly lacking a “big thing”.
Friday 28 March 2008, 6:31 pm #Bron
Oh. And how do you know that about Ant and John, Mr The?
Friday 28 March 2008, 6:32 pm #The Editor
You don’t think we record GrodsThink with our clothes on, do you? Silly, silly.
Friday 28 March 2008, 8:21 pm #Bruce
OMG. Fleshligh = Flashlight. I only just noticed! Bwahahahaaaaaa! * Chortle *
Friday 28 March 2008, 8:25 pm #The Editor
* ping *
That’s the sound of Bruce’s penny dropping.
Friday 28 March 2008, 9:31 pm #Bruce
Well, let’s face it, it’s not obvious. It’s not like a torch canister is the first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a good spot to park your trouser tuber.
Just the idea of a flashlight casing seems a bit rigid and restrictive. Maybe it’s reflective of the inventor’s psyche or something (I read the wikipedia article). What ever happened to getting a BJ? Was his marriage that repressed?
Friday 28 March 2008, 10:06 pm #Wah
My suggestion for the penis torch is Mantern
Saturday 29 March 2008, 12:19 am #Mikey
I don’t get what the competition is asking for? New names for Fleshlights? Is that it? Explainhow!
Saturday 29 March 2008, 1:41 am #Wah
The Fleshlight is female, this is asking for a name for the male version (he says incredibly tastefully).
Saturday 29 March 2008, 7:15 am #EC
Trouser tuber. LOL. My visits to Grods are always so educational.
Saturday 29 March 2008, 10:31 am #Ant Rogenous
I humbly suggest that we rename the penis torch the Shaft of Light.
Saturday 29 March 2008, 11:15 am #1.618
I wouldn’t call it a Jedi weapon by any standard.
Saturday 29 March 2008, 11:33 am #Bridgit Gread
I humbly suggest that we rename the penis torch the Shaft of Light.
What about the ‘Ream Beam’ or the ‘Exciter Lighter’?
Saturday 29 March 2008, 3:18 pm #Wah
So, I guess that no to mantern then.
It’s a toss (pardon the pun) between Shaft of Light and Ream Beam, in fact I lean to Ream Beam as every second passes.
Saturday 29 March 2008, 9:39 pm #Terry Wright
The Erectalightus?
Saturday 29 March 2008, 9:42 pm #Terry Wright
The Slogan: Many hands make light work.
Saturday 29 March 2008, 9:45 pm #John Surname
It should be Many hands make Fleshlight work.
Saturday 29 March 2008, 11:12 pm #WotWot
[Reads thread. Falls onto floor in hysterical laughter at suggested names. (Shaft of Light, brilliant!) Picks self up off floor. Remembers why fell down there in first place. Falls down again. Lady friend looks on with mixture of bemusement, curiosity, and concern. She is not in on the joke. Yet.]
Tuesday 1 April 2008, 11:48 am #Bron
Unlike The Editor, I won’t be placing third, second and first places for suggestions proferred here in the comments for the Penis Flashlight.
1. They’re all good and all made me giggle.
2. I’m just a filthy commie - everybody’s equal.
3. As a person who never wins anything, not even a meat tray, I hate to make someone else suffer the ignominy of not winning. Having said that, however, I will reconsider if someone bribes me with cash.
Good effort, Grodsters.
PS First place to Bridgit for “Ream Beam”. Is there nothing this girl can do?!
Tuesday 1 April 2008, 11:49 am #Ant Rogenous
She can’t get ;;;; to like her.
Tuesday 1 April 2008, 11:51 am #Bron
As if that’s something to cry about. Psssh.