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Brendan’s listening

Monday 31 March 2008, 9:18 am

The Editor

Categories: Politics, The internet

Tags: BrendanNelson, LiberalParty, ListeningTour, YouTube

Sad leaders of sad parties with sad electoral prospects do sad things. And the saddest thing of all is to embark on a “listening tour”, but today Brendan Nelson did just that. However, before leaving he made us listen to this terrible video. (If the Liberal Party must do one thing it’s to hire a camera operator with an understanding of framing and shot composition.)

For those with a YouTube problem at work here’s a transcript of the video.

G’day! It’s Brendan Nelson here.

He had to say that because most Australians still don’t know who he is.

As a doctor I’ve spent a lot of my life listening to, and caring for, people…

He just has to get an “I’m a doctor” reference into every speech he makes, doesn’t he?

…and now I’m privileged to be the leader of the alternative government of Australia.

Liar.

I’m in the process of going through Australia on a listening tour and that means I want to hear what you’ve got to say.

No you don’t.

What’s on your mind…

Sex.

…what worries you…

People with excessively large foreheads.

…what you think ought to happen in Australia…

Anything but the re-election of the Liberal Party.

…from Bunbury to Bathurst, from Tassie to the Northern Territory…

Somebody’s been watching too many Telstra ads.

…I’ll be in and out of servos…

Buying petrol.

…shopping centres…

Buying food.

…farming communities…

Asking for directions.

…everyday Australians’ barbies, morning teas, you name it…

I’ll tell you something for free, Brendon: you won’t be dropping into any of my barbecues or morning teas.

…and if you’ve got something on your mind tell me what it is.

Fleshlights.

Also I’ve got a great team of people…

Liar.

…frontbenchers, backbenchers, people representing the Liberal and National parties right across Australia.

But you said “great.”

I look forward to seeing you and if you see me sing out and say “g’day.”

I’ll certainly sing out and say something, Brendan, but it won’t be “g’day.”

LOL Brendan Nelson

9 Comments

Almost Always Wrong (Monday 31 March 2008, 9:54 am) #

he did lie, he doesnt have any representatives in the northern territory unless you count nigel scullion, and nobody counts nigel scullion.
Wah (Monday 31 March 2008, 10:05 am) #

He was talkign about Insiders yesterday and how he’ll be “pumping petrol and ’servos’ amd packing shopping bags”.
He said it in a way where his mouth was talking despite his brain, which was saying “no don’t fucking do this, have you no pride?”.
The Editor (Monday 31 March 2008, 10:09 am) #

Do you reckon he’ll whip the Fender out, Wah? Bit of singsong around the campfire?
Ant Rogenous (Monday 31 March 2008, 10:38 am) #

My sides! Classic post, Ed.
Pete (Monday 31 March 2008, 11:04 am) #

Nob jockey! The weird guy in the video, I mean.

What’s his name again?
John Surname (Monday 31 March 2008, 11:08 am) #

And people think I belong to a loser party.
EC (Monday 31 March 2008, 11:12 am) #

” …and if you’ve got something on your mind tell me what it is.

Fleshlights.”

LOL!! I really have to stop combining drinking coffee and checking Grods.
Mikey (Monday 31 March 2008, 9:06 pm) #

Who is he fucking kidding? His party represented purely the interests of corporate Australia for 11 years to the point they did something they must have realised would cost them the next election.

Unless that is they thought they could spend hundreds of millions of dollars to change our minds or something…
Spock... (Monday 31 March 2008, 10:20 pm) #

Oh… How I nearly wet myself…

Brilliant post!