GrodsCorp

Things that shit me #3

Wednesday 2 April 2008, 9:11 am

The Editor

Categories: Things that shit me

Tags: wellness

#3 The word “wellness”

This abomination of an empty corporate speak-style word used to describe, well, anything the person using it wants it to be, can usually be found adorning the brochures of yoga schools, vitamin bottles and cosmetics. But it’s also used to describe supposedly enhanced water filtration, pet food, and hemp. It’s the worst kind of touchy-feely Orwellian-ness word that should be the first dropped from the dictionary when space constraints require pruning.

The Queensland University of Technology defines wellness as…

The conscious choices and responsible actions one makes to balance many integrated dimensions (physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, occupational, social) of one’s existence to achieve the highest potential for personal health and well-being.

Bollocks. Might as well call it “lifeness” because what QUT’s just described is living.

* spit *

9 Comments

keri (Wednesday 2 April 2008, 10:11 am) #

Or “Undeadness”

And why the fuck are we describing different aspects of life as “Dimensions”?

Have the Scientologists run amok up there?
Magic Bellybutton (Wednesday 2 April 2008, 5:47 pm) #

Fucking hate coroporate speak. When someone is telling me something they are not “downloading” that information to me. I’m not a fucking computer.

And don’t refer to me as a “resource”. I’m a fucking staff member, not an item of furniture.

Although some friends and I have embraced “bio break” as a term for going to the toilet - but only ’cause we think it is hilarious.
Mikey (Wednesday 2 April 2008, 6:02 pm) #

My boss the other day in his ‘rouse the troops’ speech kept using synthesize in place of synergise.

Also, in Kaleen in the ACT, there’s a wholistic dentist.

Yep. With the W and everything.
Bron (Thursday 3 April 2008, 9:22 am) #

That shits you, Ed? Oh dear. Surely nothing can be worse than… actually, I’ll make a post out of it. If you can whinge, so can I!
alasdair (Thursday 3 April 2008, 11:00 am) #

At the end of the day it’s great that you’re blue-skying this. I look forward to more, going forward.
Bron (Thursday 3 April 2008, 11:04 am) #

Then there’s that phrase “at the end of the day”…
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 3 April 2008, 11:11 am) #

The next person that tells me we need to “touch base” is going to get a piping-hot latte in the face. No one bar no one touches my base without at least taking me out to dinner first.
The Editor (Thursday 3 April 2008, 11:36 am) #

I wouldn’t touch your base with a ten metre pole, Ant.
John Surname (Thursday 3 April 2008, 4:56 pm) #

“Let’s bluesky this!”

“But it’s cloudy!”