grodscorp@grods.comDriver responsibility gently encouraged
 | Posted by Ant Rogenous on Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:28 pm Categories: Melbourne, Public transport, Society Tags: drivers, revenge, stupidity, TrafficViolations, trams |
Few things infuriate me more than irresponsible driving. A car, in the hands of an idiot, is more deadly a weapon than a pistol in the same idiot’s hands. While a gun is only capable of maiming or killing people one bullet at a time, a single act of carelessness or stupidity behind the wheel can take out — as Thomas Towle tragically discovered — several people in one fell swoop.
As a daily tram user, I witness one particularly dangerous act of stupidity on a depressingly regular basis: drivers failing to observe the law that they must not pass the rear of a stopped tram, thereby allowing passengers to disembark safely.
In high school, a mate’s mother was killed in such an incident, so I’m especially sensitive about this all-too-common traffic violation. So are tram drivers, but the most severe censure they’re able to give motorists who zoom past their stopped trams is the embarrassingly impotent bell treatment: take that (ding!) and that (ding!) and THAT (dingding!) you naughty man or woman!
Of course, in most cases the drivers are so far beyond the tram by this time that they won’t even hear the bell, let alone realise how close they’ve come to injuring or killing someone. That is, until today.
This morning, at a very busy intersection, I was the last passenger disembarking from my tram. As I stepped down onto the road, I noticed an approaching taxi that didn’t look like it was going to stop. It wasn’t moving very quickly — the traffic light ahead was red — but it showed no intention of slowing down until it reached the stop line.
I held out my hand to indicate that the driver should stop, but he completely ignored me and kept driving. In a remarkable stroke of luck, the planets aligned and the timing was perfect for me to indulge my righteous indignation — so as the taxi drove between me and the tram, I sunk my knee into its back door. Really fucking hard.
It produced what I can only assume was the most satisfying crunching sound since George W Bush fell off his Segway.
GrodsThink Ep.31 (16/9/08)
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:30 pm #The Editor
Brilliant work, Ant! You’ve managed to achieve something that most of us who have had close getting-off-tram-calls have always wanted to do but will never manage.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:39 pm #Mac the Wife
You’re a piece of work Rogenous. I’ve dreamed of pulling off such a move but the closest I’ve ever come is shouting “cunt”. Next time it happens I’m going to combine our responses. Truly inspiring.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:44 pm #Chuck A. Spear
Top job Ant. I am all too familiar with the situation you describe. I drove trams once upon a time and the frustration and anger you feel as a driver when this happens is extreme. Many a driver has smashed a point bar (the bar used to change the direction of the tracks) into a car.
I have seen too many incidents when passengers alighting the tram have been hit and I have also seen many near misses. A car once drove onto a passengers ankle. I yelled for the car to stop and the idiot revered back over his ankle.
This shit is fucked up. There is no excuse. Bourke rd Camberwell is the worst.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:46 pm #E Rogenous
I hope you didn’t hurt your knee… you can’t let GroupThink FC down tonight!
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:52 pm #Ant Rogenous
The knee is fine, E, but I had my flu vaccination today so it’s my arm that’s now paining me. I won’t be much use to GroupThinkFC tonight — but at least my performance will be consistent with the past two matches.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:59 pm #The Editor
I just started my preparations for tonight’s game by cracking a Coopers Sparkling with a neat Scotch to wash it down.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 4:07 pm #keri
Try Bourke Rd. Camberwell on crutches, Chuck. Had that delightful experience for two months a year or two back, and almost met my maker on a daily basis. I got it down pat by the end, but had the crutches clipped on three seperate occasions.
Although they did come in handy for berating purposes.
And Ed, I sincerely hope that Scotch was old fashioned.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 4:33 pm #Evil Bill
Brilliant work. Another of my pet hates is cars not stopping at pedestrian crossings. Once I was jogging to work and this prick in a 4WD saw me coming but had no intention of stopping and came through the pedestrian crossing only to stop one metre beyond the crossing. I sunk the boot into the back panel, producing a satisfying dent and continued running on my way. More pedestrian rage I say.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 6:05 pm #Mikey
They think Bush’s fall off the segway probably cost the company its rightful place in the avoiding exercise and money making industry because Bush single handedly proved false the company’s pitch that even an idiot could successfully use one.
Wednesday 2 April 2008, 6:33 pm #Wah
The father of young man who was seriously injured by a stupid driver such as this called 3AW this morning to say that even of that driver hit you, the most he could be charged with was failing to give way to a pedestrian alighting a tram and would have coped a find of around $250 and a few demerit points.
Thursday 3 April 2008, 2:30 am #Andy B
Excellent effort. Approval granted.
Thursday 3 April 2008, 1:02 pm #skeptic
I always have a silver coin - a 50 cent is perfect - that I have on prior occasion thrown at the idiot cars who do not stop.
Man, those brake lights come on awful quick after the lexus has been scratched.
Friday 4 April 2008, 2:37 am #Andy B
Better option is just to carry a glass bottle with you. Aim it at a window.
Thursday 26 June 2008, 11:56 am #Krypto
I remember the first time I drove in Melbourne, all of around 19 I was, here I am stuck behind this tram for almost a kilometre, it pulls up at a green light (gotta love that) so I think “OK great, I’ll just overtake this traffic constipating fucker”.
I check my mirrors, change lanes and go to whip round it, all of a sudden the doors fling open with a fuck off big “STOP” sign.
So I come to a screeching halt just in time for these commuters to jump off -lemming like- not a sideways glance among any of them, less than four feet from my front bumper.
I got my licence interstate and was never exposed to a tram until I got to Melbourne so how am I supposed to know about them?
It’s just lucky I never was a lead-foot or the outcome could have been ugly. Very ugly.
I do think there needs to be some way of notifying interstate drivers of the unique traffic conditions that Melbourne’s trams represent.
Signage on the Hume as you come in maybe.
As for native Melbournian drivers who fail to stop for trams, that’s not far off conduct endangering life as far as I’m concerned.