GrodsCorp

The Secret Diary of Brendan Nelson: Tasmania

Wednesday 9 April 2008, 6:40 pm

The Editor

Categories: Politics

Tags: BrendanNelson, LiberalParty, ListeningTour, Tasmania, YouTube

It’s been quite a few days since Bren-doc Nelson updated his Magical Mystery Tour diary. This afternoon he not only added the Tasmania section but he posted a YouTube video of him summing up the first week of his tour in glorious monotone monologue.

It’s kind of like a greatest hits monologue with Dr Nelson pulling out all of his favourite anecdotes — you know, the ones he’s been boring us with at every opportunity for the last week: helping the woman put petrol in her car and bagging groceries at a supermarket.

But let’s not dwell on the past when there’s so much comedy gold in Nelson’s latest release.

The carers roundtable was one of the highlights of the visit to Launceston. All expressed their great relief that Kevin Rudd had caved in to the Opposition’s pressure to deliver the lump sum carers’ payment this year and for the next four years.

Dr Brendan has got only one sorta positive from his time in leadership to keep referring to and it’s the tenuous claim that he forced Rudd to maintain the carers’ ~~pork barrel~~ lump sum payment. It’s getting really tiresome hearing Nelson crap on and on about it.

Starting the day on the side of the Tamar River and to see the amount of silt that’s built up is quite disturbing. The Government needs to provide the additional $200,000 for the saltation study and I’m at a loss to understand why Jodie Campbell, the Labor member, will not campaign for the necessary funds. So too the flood levies need serious refurbishment and restoration and the Federal Government must provide written confirmation that its $13 million contribution will be given this year.

Isn’t it weird that these geological processes commenced only after November last year and have reached crisis point in a mere five months? I’m at a loss to understand why Nelson’s own party did not commit the necessary funds in eleven long years.

It was also uplifting to visit St Finn Barr’s School where the students are absolutely magnificent in the way they are presented and the questions the year sixes asked me were tougher than at any press conference.

Nelson, of course, is extraordinarily capable of fending off even the toughest questions so a room full of grade six students is nothing.

The school provides a first rate Catholic education…

Unlike those values-neutral heathens in the evil, lefty public system.

…and is the school where I began my own education in grade one to grade four at its then outreach school Our Lady of Christians.

How proud they must be to have spawned the most useless opposition leader since, well… um…

The meeting with the chief executive of the Launceston General Hospital provided further emphasis to the need to restructure hospital services and especially reduce the load on the hospital from inadequate use of GP services in northern Tasmania.

Do you mean restructuring hospital services by propping up inefficient hospitals against the advice of everyone in order to win a couple of votes at an election?

A stroll through the Mews Shopping centre…

Where shoppers ran screaming in fear of being “helped” for a photo opportunity.

…at King’s Meadows down the road from where my grandfather lived, was a reminder of just how difficult a lot of Australians are finding the current climate. Trying to buy groceries while putting petrol in the car and facing increased interest rates was a struggle freely admitted to me by many shoppers.

Whoa! We need a drinking game where you drink if Nelson says “petrol”, “groceries” or “interest rates”. If he says all three in the same sentence just like he did then you have to skol a bottle of vodka.

It’s absolutely essential that Mr Rudd and Mr Swan get the economy right.

I’m sure they’re thankful for the advice, Bren-doc. There they were thinking to themselves “we must get the economy wrong.”

15 Comments

Damian (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 7:57 pm) #

I love how the focus is on all those things - food prices, petrol prices, mortgages - that governments (like the last one) don’t have any control over.

What is the gumint supposed to do? Institute price controls, attack the banks (Brendan’s mates) and the oil companies with regulations and stuff, and start providing free housing or cheap loans? They’d be called commies then - sounds like Venezuela! - and even I’d vote for them.

Once again, Ed, I dunno how you managed to sit through that. I got up to the smile about returning to Tassie and that was it.
cosmicjester (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 8:29 pm) #

His incompetence must be a ruse, he is leading Rudd into a false sense of security. “You Watch”
EC (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 8:33 pm) #

You expect insincere smiling from politicans, but Forehead Man has raised it to an art form.
steve (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 8:56 pm) #

“the Mews Shopping centre…”

Even the local cats ran away screaming!
steve (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 9:01 pm) #

“Starting the day on the side of the Tamar River”

At 3.00am no doubt.
Jeremy (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 9:28 pm) #

Inspiring.

You know, if Brendan was a racehorse, they’d have the curtains around him by now.
Damian (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 9:28 pm) #

cosmicjester, tee hee. I reckon “you watch” will become the new catch cry for anyone attempting to succeed at something they have no idea about achieving. You watch.
cosmicjester (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 9:50 pm) #

another “you watch” moment

http://www.liberal.org.au/info/news/detail/20080408_NelsoninterviewwithCharlesWooleyAcrossAustMacquarieRegionalRadio.php

DR NELSON:

I mean, half or more of our ranks are republicans and so on and I’ve never heard somebody say to me, Brendan, my life’s going to be so much more easier when Australia becomes a republic.

WOOLEY:

I could say that to you, Brendan my life is going to be so much easier when Australia becomes a republic…

DR NELSON:

Yes, yes, Charles but…
steve (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 10:59 pm) #

“Trying to buy groceries while putting petrol in the car”

Yes, Brendan, I never mastered that art either.
steve (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 11:03 pm) #

“and especially reduce the load on the hospital from inadequate use of GP services in northern Tasmania.”

Someone tell that bludging Doctors Union to get there members off their go slow, and work to rule campaign and supply a service to their patients.
brerrabbit (Wednesday 9 April 2008, 11:54 pm) #

Steve! You swine, that was the line I was going to use!
Nelson’s up our way tomorrow, walking the streets of Wodonga with the lovely S. Mirabella.
I’m hoping to seek him out and say,”G’day Brendan. You know, I think you should sack her.”
But he probably wouldn’t listen…
steve (Thursday 10 April 2008, 6:45 am) #

“But he probably wouldn’t listen…”

brerrabbit, I think you could make him listen by taking a clapped out old smoky ute down to your local servo, with a grocery bag of half used vegetables beside you and turn the pump on until $1.00 shows on the meter. Then walk over to Brendan and put the bite on him for the other 95 cents to help pay for the petrol.
steve (Thursday 10 April 2008, 6:52 am) #

Oh, and don’t forget to take any old coffee stained bank statement with you showing the:

Big figure - that would be the bank fees and charges

Little figure - that would be the interest paid.
Chuck A. Spear (Thursday 10 April 2008, 9:00 am) #

Enough about Brendon. Samuel G-S has retired from blogging. This is a sad, sad day people.

Samuel you’re a blogger par excellence and I hope you one day return to your big corner of the internet that you have spent three years carving out.

I will miss Samuel In Dlogwnot terribly and your photo essays too. However, my favourite post in the history of the internets was your Black & Gold label change post.
steve (Thursday 10 April 2008, 3:58 pm) #

Odds on Nelson blow out after his Listening Tour debacle so far.

http://news.brisbanetimes.com.au/odds-shorten-on-turnbull-leading-libs/20080410-254j.html