GrodsCorp

Nelson doorstop gold

Monday 14 April 2008, 5:58 pm

The Editor

Categories: Politics

Tags: BrendanNelson, comedy, interview, LiberalParty

Brendan Nelson is proving to be a real warrior in doorstop interviews. First there was this ominous warning to “just watch.” Then there was his notorious “I’m going nowhere” declaration. And then there was this awesome articulation of a “nothing” plan.

But this snippet of comedy genius that wouldn’t sound out of place in a Monty Python sketch is the “alternative Prime Minister” of the country fending off the hard questions.

QUESTION: Dr Nelson were you aware that in 2007 the Australian Defence Department hired mercenaries to work for it?

DR NELSON: No I’m not.

QUESTION: It’s your department, surely you’d, you would have been across it?

DR NELSON: Well I won’t comment on it.

QUESTION: So were you aware of anything?

DR NELSON : Well as I say I won’t comment on it and I’m not aware of it.

QUESTION: Why won’t you comment?

DR NELSON: Well I don’t have to. So I don’t need to.

What an absolute corker! He didn’t know about it, then he wouldn’t comment on what he didn’t know about, then he delivers a primary school knockout blow in, “Well I don’t have to. So I don’t need to.” I bet that poor reporter needed an icepack and a beer after that one.

At least when Nelson’s unceremoniously dumped from leadership in the next few months he can start rehearsing for his comedy festival gig next year.

13 Comments

brokenleftleg (Monday 14 April 2008, 6:23 pm) #

It’s time to start a book on when nelson gets dumped. Put me down for Sept 21.
Sure it’s a long way off, but Nelson’s successor (Turnbull or PC) doesn’t want to sip from the poisen chalice too earlier.
IMHO The politics of opposition means BN has to make a goose of himself for at least a few months more.
Anyone else want to nominate another date?
Jeremy (Monday 14 April 2008, 6:31 pm) #

August 4.
magic bellybutton (Monday 14 April 2008, 6:39 pm) #

Next time he sees Julia Gillard, he’s going to pull her hair then yell “nya nya nya” and run away.

Abbott will then pass Gillard a note saying that Nelson thinks she’s great and would she like to be his girlfriend - but they can’t tell anyone about it.
cosmicjester (Monday 14 April 2008, 6:59 pm) #

when i read nelson’s exchange i thought “no way, he couldnt have said that, it must just be the editor pulling a porky”
it seems nelson is right, people have been underestimating him, i for one have been underestimating his incompetence
Bron (Monday 14 April 2008, 7:08 pm) #

August 11.
Mikey (Monday 14 April 2008, 7:50 pm) #

I’m going for November 24. It’s a lucky date.
brokenleftleg (Monday 14 April 2008, 8:34 pm) #

What’s the prize Mr The? The competition is on your site, so you should put something up.
Maybe a Groupthink FC shirt?
Ant Rogenous (Monday 14 April 2008, 8:53 pm) #

Nelson’s still performing far too well for a GroupThinkFC shirt to be awarded in his honour.
The Editor (Monday 14 April 2008, 8:53 pm) #

No more tips here! Lodge them in this thread.
Wah (Monday 14 April 2008, 9:04 pm) #

I feel for Brendan - Jesus Christ wouldn’t poll more than 20s as head of the Libs at the moment. I think he’ll suffer like Simon Crean did. A decent bloke, a good politician but with a personality that will never crack it with voters.
The fact that Alexander Dowmner actually polled better than him says millions.
The Editor (Monday 14 April 2008, 9:10 pm) #

I agree that he’s copped a harsh deal, Wah, but I do think this experience has highlighted Nelson’s lack of leadership ability and his complete inability to authentically present himself to the electorate.
steve (Monday 14 April 2008, 9:11 pm) #

“We need to know if there are other things which Mr Rudd has not disclosed and if so what are they.”

And after all that comic gold comes this platinum effort from Mr Disclosure himself.
Damian (Monday 14 April 2008, 11:35 pm) #

That’s not an argument. It’s a contradiction. No it isn’t.