A couple of days ago a PDF file appeared on the Liberal Party website entitled Dr Brendan Nelson — Real life experience and leadership. You’ve got to wonder why they bothered given that Nelson’s only got a few months (at best) left in his leadership. But then again, the graphic design looks so amateur the work experience kid probably slapped it together.

The brochure appears to be a hastily complied bunch of crap about Nelson’s background and a pissweak argument that he is a true leader. It starts off very, very badly with this photo on the front cover.

That hair is surely airbrushed on

And then just in case you didn’t already know, and the letters ‘D’ and ‘r’ in the header didn’t give it away, the first two paragraphs are all about the fact that Bren-doc is a doctor.

For Liberal leader Dr Brendan Nelson, there have been many experiences throughout his 49 years that he will never forget – like delivering a baby for the first time, consoling a family shattered by the loss of two teenage children in a motor accident and stepping in to resuscitate a man who had a cardiorespiratory arrest on a beach. Dr Nelson says he will always remember being called to a drug squat and arriving to find a young woman – a prostitute – who had overdosed on heroin, compounding a serious heart infection, and then meeting that person five years later and finding her completely reconciled with her family and leading a happy, healthy life.

Brendan Nelson’s career as a medical doctor brought him into contact with many, varied Australian lives. It is a profession that provides a unique and invaluable grounding for his life in politics. Evolving from MD to MP was not something Dr Nelson had mapped out at a young age, but was a natural progression in the life of this experienced, talented and empathetic Australian.

We’re then treated to a photo of Dr Nelson with his wife and his dog. His wife is clearly more interested in the dog than Brendan.

Did you know the dog’s a doctor?

Biographical details follow, with emphasis on values…

Brendan went to high school at St Ignatius College, Adelaide, where his teachers instilled four principles that became the foundation for his development – commitment, conscience, compassion and courage.

…and the fact that he’s a doctor.

Moving back to Tasmania, he set up as an after-hours GP, which involved making frequent house calls in an area that badly needed the facility.

And then just on the off chance you didn’t know he like motorcycles there’s a lovely picture to let you know.

With a moustache like that, Bren-doc would make a great motorcycle cop

Moving onto his political career the pamphlet neatly dodges the fact that Nelson used to belong to the ALP and dives straight into his proud Liberal history.

In 1996, Brendan Nelson stood successfully as the Liberal candidate for the Sydney seat of Bradfield in the federal election that swept out Labor and brought the Liberal-National Coalition to office.

But given that Brendan will never, ever lead his party to victory (or even to the end of this year) this snippet is a bit cruel.

When a senior member of the Keating Government told him, “If you want to change Government policy, you’ll have to change the Government,” Dr Nelson took the first steps that would lead to the position he holds today.

After a picture of Nelson and his big gun…

It’s not the size that counts, it’s what you do with it

…we return to Brendan’s favourite talking point: his hobbies.

To clear his mind, he can be found out on a morning walk, gardening, strumming a guitar or riding his Triumph motorcycle.

Did you know that Brendan has five guitars?

And finally we are treated to one half of a separated-at-birth photo set.

Dr Nelson and his son

Here’s the other half.