Not only did I weep on the train this morning on my way to work, I also wept on the train on my way home.

MX, that highly regarded and informative, hard-hitting free newspaper distributed to commuters every afternoon from about 3.30pm onwards (in Sydney, at least), was thrust into my unwilling hands as I rushed into the train station. After a bitch fight pushing heavily pregnant women and geriatric men with Zimmer frames out of the way to grab the last seat, I settled back for a good read.

One of my favourite parts — or not so favourite, I can’t really decide — is the letters page, especially the little section called “Here’s looking at you”, where people leave messages for other people they’ve seen on a train or bus that they fancy, or simply want to root.

For example,

The stunner with the purple bag and black-rim glasses who gets on at Sutherland at 7.29am, you brighten my day.

– James, Wollongong.

While that’s a little sappy, it’s reflective of the usual shout-outs that get printed. However, every once in a while, a really, really, really terrible one gets printed, and so it was today when I read the following and wept because of its sheer awfulness:

The girl in the brown leather jacket on the 6.30 Waterfall train. If you were a McDonald’s burger, you’d be a McGorgeous.

– Tristan, Cronulla.