GrodsCorp

Ragtime Waltz

Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:34 pm

Bron

Categories: Media, Public transport, Sydney

Tags: GordonGekko, Here'sLookingAtYou, MX

Everybody, give a loud cheer to that fantastic newspaper called mX. HOORAY!

Why?

Well, as some of you may remember, a couple of weeks ago I sat next to Gordon Gekko one morning on the train to work, and since I’d left my book at home, I was fascinated by the writing in his notepad, open on his lap, instead. Those notes kept me wildly entertained for the whole journey, even if it did cause some heartbreak in the end.

In the comments that followed, I was urged to track him down again and “read his notebook”, which would have been a very difficult thing to do (I can barely remember what he looks like, except for the hair slicked back). Then I (who else but wonderful me?) hit on the excellent idea of leaving a message in the “Here’s looking at you” letters section in that free rag distributed in the afternoons to commuters, mX.

Ant immediately followed my suggestion with his suggestion with what to submit. I duly agreed and submitted it to mX, with slight modifications.

Then waited.

And waited.

Every single day, I waited.

And waited.

Until TODAY! Thanks to Wah, who used his contacts and got the bloody letter published. I was so excited to see the letter published in the rag, that I nearly waltzed all the way down the tunnel to the train.

Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on this:

OH SHAT! Wrong photo. That’s The Editor’s missing Gravatar.

This, look, this:

How good is that?! On the train home, I watched every person reading mX like a hawk, waiting to see the funny expressions on their faces that would no doubt surely follow. My lips were dry, my left leg kept shaking, my right hand twitching, my left ear squeaking.

Nothing. Blank faces. They didn’t care. They just did not care. I wanted to lean over and helpfully point to my letter and say, “Hey, look at that crazy letter. Crazy, innit?” But I didn’t. It felt weird to be able to see my name and Grods’ name and see the schmucks reading the letters and not even reacting. Of course, there’s a very strong probability that the letter meant nothing to them.

So, once again, dear readers, I regret to come to the conclusion that GrodsCorp has failed to set the world alight and hearts a-flutter.

Of course, I had nothing to do with it.

49 Comments

The Editor (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:36 pm) #

SNAP! Splendid work, Bron!
Wah (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:41 pm) #

Fuck - city is with a lower case c! Who subbed that?
Bridgit Gread (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:46 pm) #

I wonder if Dave from the city got anywhere with Jarryd.
Bron (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:47 pm) #

They all seem to be lowercase, Wah. (That is, all the other letters from the city)
Bron (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:49 pm) #

That’s what I want to know, too, Bridgit. If I see anything else between Dave and Jarryd, I’ll let you know. (I’m fast becoming addicted to mX’s letters and Sudoku)
Wah (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:49 pm) #

I stand corrected, it’s meant to be lower case c as in “the city” - phew (for whoever it was that subbed it).
Wah (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:50 pm) #

There’s a lot of man on man letters - I wonder how many are guys having a laugh at their mate’s expense?
Bridgit Gread (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 10:57 pm) #

“KG, love the way you slash and burn those lefties. You’ve got burning eyes and yearning thighs. Want the next train in my tunnel to be yours. MK.”
Bron (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:01 pm) #

There’s a series of “Here’s looking at you” letters to some dude who works at some club/bar in North Sydney at the moment. I first noticed it last week, and since then, there’s been a “YOU’RE SO HOT”-type letter every day.

I can’t wait for the denouement.
Bron (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:03 pm) #

Bridgit, that’s gold. HAVE to submit that!
Ray Dixon (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:07 pm) #

“If we have to DO IT, we have to DO IT“

I know you were quoting his words Bron but it sounds like an open invitation for sex. Expect responses, I think there might be more than one man fitting that description.
The Editor (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:09 pm) #

I’m drafting a response right now.
Bridgit Gread (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:09 pm) #

Relax, don’t do it. When you want to go to it.
John Surname (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:28 pm) #

I’ll draft Bron anyday. Woof.
Bron (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:33 pm) #

Meow.

*sharpens claws*
Steve D (Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:37 pm) #

Awesome work, that’s great. Totally made my day.
Mikey (Thursday 1 May 2008, 12:09 am) #

I bet GG wanna be is quaking in his suspenders that someone is in the know.
magic bellybutton (Thursday 1 May 2008, 7:28 am) #

Fantastic.

What next? Letter to the editor of SMH? The Opposition Orifice?
keri (Thursday 1 May 2008, 9:37 am) #

Excellent work, Bron!
Lang (Thursday 1 May 2008, 9:46 am) #

Could you not pin a note over your left breast?,just a small one.
Bron (Thursday 1 May 2008, 9:52 am) #

Could you not pin a note over your left breast?,just a small one.

I want people looking at my face when they’re talking to me, not at my magnificent breasts (a completely subjective assessment, of course).
Lang (Thursday 1 May 2008, 10:29 am) #

Oh, well in that case perhaps a larger note taped, I had better continue on with my BAS.
xander (Thursday 1 May 2008, 10:50 am) #

wells dones.
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 1 May 2008, 11:25 am) #

Excellent work, Bron!
Bron (Thursday 1 May 2008, 12:45 pm) #

Oh, well in that case perhaps a larger note taped, I had better continue on with my BAS.

I’ll just stick the note on my forehead. Start a new fashion.
Ray Dixon (Thursday 1 May 2008, 1:10 pm) #

I’ll just stick the note on my forehead …

… that states, “Hi I’m Bron, let’s DO IT”
Bron (Thursday 1 May 2008, 1:16 pm) #

“…if we have to DO IT.”
Magic Bellybutton (Thursday 1 May 2008, 1:28 pm) #

I’ll just stick the note on my forehead.

Actually, if I need to remember to do something at work, I write it on a post it and stick it on my forehead*. I may get weird looks, but I get the job done!

*keep in mind I’ve also given myself a papercut on my eyelid with an envelope and have been known to get in lifts but forget to press which floor I need to go to and consequently wonder why the lift is not moving. So I may not be the greatest role model when it comes to life.
The Intriguist (Thursday 1 May 2008, 1:30 pm) #

That is so cool. No bull, pure class.
krypto (Thursday 1 May 2008, 5:58 pm) #

everyone’s just pretending they don’t read the posts by lovestruck Mel and homosexual Dave. That corporate pirate knows you’re onto him, he KNOWS.
Why else would he go to ground?
Lang (Thursday 1 May 2008, 7:12 pm) #

Well the BAS is out of the way,now I have contacted the ATO on Brons breast assessment as a tax deduction, and sadly, unless I can prove that this is part of an expense in the course of conducting business,they appear to be taking a casual approach, they suggested it was subjective.
Bron (Thursday 1 May 2008, 8:10 pm) #

Appeal the decision.
krypto (Thursday 1 May 2008, 8:45 pm) #

and you wonder why people in the public service are considered a bit “eccentric” MBB?
Lang (Thursday 1 May 2008, 8:46 pm) #

Very noble attitude Bron,are your breasts subject to audit,therin lies the problem.Highly unlikely I can produce either one or two as a passable tax dodge,I mean allowable deduction.
Whilst I am sure they get audited more than often,as they are ‘magnificent’, than not, from the general public,the ATO take a dim view of ‘claim by tradition’ as I have not brought this to their attention before.And claim by tradition opens avenues that I would rather keep as freeways.
Probably best that the bodice is kept closed and I remain placid,and could you please pass notice two both that they are appealing..
krypto (Thursday 1 May 2008, 8:51 pm) #

seems Lang’s got a bit of a chubby for Bron huh?
Get a virtual room you two.
magic bellybutton (Thursday 1 May 2008, 8:57 pm) #

and you wonder why people in the public service are considered a bit “eccentric” MBB?

Hey! I resemble that comment!

Actually, I’m certain I was perfectly normal before I started working in the QPS. I blame all those flex hours.
Bron (Thursday 1 May 2008, 9:13 pm) #

Oh dear…

What have I done?!
Lang (Thursday 1 May 2008, 9:22 pm) #

#35, are virtual rooms a tax deduction?,if so I’ll buy a block(subject to capital gains and etc;).
krypto (Thursday 1 May 2008, 9:52 pm) #

you might check that your amorous intentions are actually reciprocated first Lang.
Just a thought.

MBB, there’s gotta be enough “unique” public servants around to generate a class action hasn’t there?
krypto (Thursday 1 May 2008, 9:55 pm) #

Off topic I know, but the footy show is on, are those guys drunk? The whole stupid lot of them are carrying on like a bunch of degenerate soaks propping up a bar-stool.
They’re drunk aren’t they?
Bron (Thursday 1 May 2008, 10:05 pm) #

Which Footy Show, krypto? I’m watching (not really but it’s on TV) the NRL Footy Show.

And they’ve got bloody Sonny Bill Williams on AGAIN. Overrated public toilet screwing tosser.
krypto (Thursday 1 May 2008, 10:55 pm) #

no, we get the elbourne footy show, the NRL footy show comes on quite late at night.
They’re equally shiity but I think the NRL footy show takes itself a bit more seriously.
Didn’t they have that accoustic guitar tosser from the Hyundai ad on there for a while?
Piss poor excuse for entertainment.
krypto (Thursday 1 May 2008, 10:55 pm) #

that should read “Melbourne footy show”
magic bellybutton (Thursday 1 May 2008, 11:01 pm) #

MBB, there’s gotta be enough “unique” public servants around to generate a class action hasn’t there?

Yes, but none so special as I.
Bron (Thursday 1 May 2008, 11:08 pm) #

They’re equally shiity but I think the NRL footy show takes itself a bit more seriously.

You’re JOKING! The NRL Footy Show is home to the most stupid character ever invented: Reg Reagan.

http://www.regreagan.com.au/

Didn’t they have that accoustic guitar tosser from the Hyundai ad on there for a while?

Dunno who that might be. I’ve rarely watched the show in recent years.

It used to be a really juvenile show, with Fatty and the boys dressing up in women’s clothing (although Fatty did pass a very strong resemblance to Pauline Hanson which, I’m told, annoyed her a bit!) and playing pranks and gags. Often it was rather funny in that “Oh God, these men will NEVER grow up!” kind of way (bit like the GrodsLads and their Fleshlights).

Nowadays, they’re cleaning up their act a little and doing more footy talk. So much so, I wish they’d start dressing up in women’s clothes again.
krypto (Friday 2 May 2008, 12:46 pm) #

ah yes, the old boof-heads in drag routine.
That NEVER gets old (except for the people actually WATCHING it.
Don’t you think it’s a bit sus all these meatheads wearing a dress at the slightest provocation just because there happens to be a camera present?
Surely it’s a “legitimised” way for them to act out their gender identity issues publicly within a homophobic culture.
krypto (Friday 2 May 2008, 12:48 pm) #

MBB, “special” has become such a loaded word, are you sure you want to use it to describe yourself?
Bron (Friday 2 May 2008, 12:50 pm) #

MBB could always use “speshul” instead.
krypto (Friday 2 May 2008, 12:58 pm) #

OK so I think it’s pretty clear who the next challenger will be for “Grods Cage Match III”.