Opposition leader Brendan “I’m a doctor” Nelson is a comedy show with legs and a forehead. His doorstop interview efforts will be studied by future political science students and are sure to become the stuff of legend. Bren-doc yesterday appeared at the campaign launch of Gippsland Liberal candidate Rohan Fitzgerald and he was performing at the peak of his powers.

Firstly, what would a Nelson interview be like without the ad nauseum repeating of his holy trinity message that deserves a hearty drink! each time it’s spoken?

The key issues for the by-election campaign are really going to be for the people of Gippsland to ask themselves, after more than five months of a Labor Government in Canberra, is it easier for me to keep my house? Is it easier for me to keep my small business? Is it easier for me to fill my car up with petrol or put groceries in my shopping trolley?

Drink!

…trying to put petrol in your car, trying to buy groceries, trying to keep a roof over your head…

Drink!

And the issues that are really going to determine the outcome in this election are going to be about housing and mortgages and petrol and groceries…

Drink!

…this is about keeping a roof over your head, being able to feed, clothe and house your children, putting petrol in your car and buying groceries…

Drink!

Has it got harder for me to keep my house, is my job more or less secure than it was, is it easier to put petrol in the car, buy groceries every week?

Drink!

Well, the most important issues are affording your house, making sure that the Government makes decisions that actually keep interest rates at a level that we can all manage, making sure that petrol and groceries are affordable…

Drink! Drink! Drink!

Then in the vein of the good doctor’s previous “Just watch” effort there was this brilliant exchange.

QUESTION: What do you believe that you can offer the Gippsland people that the Nationals can’t?

DR NELSON: Rohan Fitzgerald.

BAM! Take that, reporter. Totally pwned.

And then Nelson got himself all tied up in knots with this hideously mangled metaphor that ended up proving nothing except for his imbecility.

We will be looking for very solid, sound economic management from the Government in the Budget that’s coming up. And let’s just remember – it’s like the cardboard cut out of Mr Rudd in the federal parliament – Mr Rudd last year decided that he was going to run some advertisements to try and tell people he was a fiscal conservative and now we’re about to actually find out just what the economic credibility of Mr Rudd and Mr Swan is.

What?

No wonder Rohan Fitzgerald doesn’t have a single photo or mention of Dr Bren-doc Nelson on his website, unlike 2007 Liberal election candidates who had John Howard plastered all over the place.