grodscorp@grods.comTwo shop conversations
 | Posted by The Editor on Saturday 3 May 2008, 4:09 pm Categories: Weird shit Tags: conversation, ShopAssistants |
Conversation one involves The Editor and a cafe worker in her early twenties.
The Editor: One takeaway latte please.
Cafe worker: That’ll be $2.80 thanks.
The Editor: (Handing over $20 note) There you go.
Cafe worker: (Punching register buttons) Damn! I rung it up twice. I’ll have to work out the change in my head.
The Editor: …
Cafe worker: Um, twenty minus two, minus, um…
The Editor: …
Cafe worker: (Pulling mobile phone out of pocket) I’ll do it on my phone.
The Editor: (!)
Cafe worker: That’s $17.20 change.
I blame public schools.
Conversation two involves McBec and a talkative clothes store sales assistant in her late thirties.
Sales assistant: I’ve had the weirdest day.
McBec: Really?
Sales assistant: I was walking to work this morning when my phone beeped. It was a text from my next door neighbour’s son.
McBec: Okay.
Sales assistant: It was a picture he’d taken of himself naked with a hard on.
McBec: (!)
Sales assistant: I don’t know if he texted the wrong number or not. I don’t know what to do.
GrodsThink Ep.31 (16/9/08)
Saturday 3 May 2008, 4:22 pm #Bridgit Gread
I don’t know if he texted the wrong number or not. I don’t know what to do.
Forward it to everybody in your address book, of course. That’ll learn the grotty bastard.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 5:09 pm #John Surname
Awesome.
Ed - make sure you teach your class how to calculate latte change, seeing as that is probably what they’ll spend their life calculating under Kevin Rudd’s “Lattes For All” policy.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 5:16 pm #steve
When raving pollies tell us that means testing the baby bonus is “too expensive”, I’m surprised that everybody isn’t too twisted to be able to handle simple maths.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/05/02/2233970.htm?section=justin
Saturday 3 May 2008, 5:26 pm #magic bellybutton
Forward it to everybody in your address book, of course. That’ll learn the grotty bastard
Then put it on a blog
Saturday 3 May 2008, 6:08 pm #Jack Dorf
“The Editor: One takeaway latte please.”
Typical left wing stereotyping!
Saturday 3 May 2008, 6:15 pm #keri
I don’t know if he texted the wrong number or not. I don’t know what to do.
Tell Surname to keep it in his pants.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 6:29 pm #Ant Rogenous
Text it back to the little sicko’s mother.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 6:40 pm #Jangari
You could have really capitalised on that latte - hmm, that’s ironic, no? Anyway, observe:
The Editor: One takeaway latte please.
Cafe worker: That’ll be $2.80 thanks.
The Editor: (Handing over $20 note) There you go.
Cafe worker: (Punching register buttons) Damn! I rung it up twice. I’ll have to work out the change in my head.
The Editor: Oh, that’s alright. Since you rang it in twice, just double whatever it says for the change.
Cafe worker: Oh yeah, of course. It says $14.40, so here you are; $28.80 change.
Punish idiocy by exploiting it.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 6:42 pm #The Editor
I doubt the poor girl would’ve been able to double $14.40 in her head.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 6:52 pm #Bron
Couldn’t you have just told her, Ed?
Saturday 3 May 2008, 7:20 pm #The Editor
Yes. But that would make the subsequent blog post a bit less funny.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 7:40 pm #brokenleftleg
I bet the cafe worker could recite large sections of Marx though. Bloody public school teachers
Saturday 3 May 2008, 7:46 pm #steve
I bet that she’s smart enough to work out that with her wages without penalty rates she’d rather be somewhere else on a Saturday.
Saturday 3 May 2008, 10:40 pm #Wah
Editor, I bet your coffee was shit too. Stupid bitch.
Definately send that MMS to the little bastard’s mother - interesting neighbourly relationship that they have each other’s phone numbers.
Sunday 4 May 2008, 12:27 am #Damian
Similar encounter in a western Sydney book shop when cashing in our hundred dollar gift voucher for a thirty dollar book. The poor young chick said, “So you have, like, I dunno, sixty dollars or something left, I am too tired to work it out right now.”
No anecdotes to share re McBec’s encounter.
Sunday 4 May 2008, 10:30 am #Mikey
That is gold. Is there some sort of ‘Dummies Guide to when a neighbour’s son sends you a picture of his hard on’ that she can reference for advice? Surname, you work in a bookstore right?
Sunday 4 May 2008, 4:03 pm #krypto
“…text from my next door neighbour’s son…a picture he’d taken of himself naked with a hard on…I don’t know what to do.”?!?
So what he was too subtle?
Blow him or have him charged by the police I think are the available options here are they not?
Sunday 4 May 2008, 11:16 pm #Ray Dixon
She should put him in to the cops. Anything less than that and the kid will take things further. Most rapists start off as flashers and progress from there. He’s sick and needs help & straightening out.
Sunday 4 May 2008, 11:31 pm #Bridgit Gread
Jesus, Ray, are you serious?
Smack the kid around for being crass by all means, but don’t make him sound like Ted Bundy. If you want to go after exhibitionists you’d better dob in two-thirds of the users of Red Hot Pie then - they’ve all got their tits/wangs out for public consumption.
Sunday 4 May 2008, 11:58 pm #Ray Dixon
Yes I’m serious Bridgit. Putting it out for general public consumption or exhibitionism is a lot different to targeting a specific individual - it’s a form of stalking. He’ll take it further if it’s not dealt with.
Monday 5 May 2008, 12:01 am #Bridgit Gread
And what if he did indeed hit the wrong number? Do we neuter him anyway?
Monday 5 May 2008, 12:07 am #Ray Dixon
Well if you were going to send a naked photo of yourself to someone the chances are you’d make sure you hit the right number. I’d just let the cops sort that out. Mind you I’m saying this on the assumption she’s concerned about it and hasn’t got any kind of thing going with him - which is how it sounded. If that’s the case she’s better off to be safe than sorry - the kid lives next door!
Monday 5 May 2008, 12:10 am #Bridgit Gread
Too right, he’s probably digging and fitting out a basement/sex lair as we speak. I bet this is how the Austrian incest fiend started out… with a nudie text message.
The kid is dangerous. I vote we go in with tear gas and a SWAT team.
Monday 5 May 2008, 12:22 am #Ray Dixon
Or the police could just talk to him to see if he’s really a problem or not. You seem to be missing the point that the shop assistant is in her late thirties and appeared to be concerned about it when she said “I don’t know if he texted the wrong number or not. I don’t know what to do.” Why tell a complete stranger that if you’re not worried about it?