GrodsCorp

Here’s Looking At You — the anti-love edition

Monday 12 May 2008, 9:40 am

Bron

Categories: Public transport

Tags: LoveyDoveyIdiots, MX, sick

To the couple on my train this morning on the way to work, GET A FUGGIN ROOM!

No one wants to see tongue-action more icky than that of Axl Rose and Stephanie Seymour snogging, hand under the jumper (I saw you, boy, touch her nipple), blowing gently into each other’s neck, pretending to almost kiss then turning mouth away in a coquettish way (oh you’re such a flirt, aren’t you, girl?), smiling seductively at each other (you think! It reminded me more of a chimp on speed) and staring into each other’s eyes in a deep, meaningful way.

I did not need to see all this at 8am on a Monday morning. Kthxbai.

13 Comments

Wah (Monday 12 May 2008, 10:06 am) #

Lesso chair hog
The big bottle-blonde femmo looking chick, wearing the checked shirt on the train from Sydenham to the city this morning, despite having my iPod on I heard you “tut” when I dared take a seat where you were resting your bag. Sorry to inconvenience you and dare share public transport with you. My pathetic and totally unwarranted but polite apology didn’t solicit any sign of manners from you, you fucking rude man-hating bitch.
Coffee sometime?
Bron (Monday 12 May 2008, 10:13 am) #

Scrabulous Addiction
To the dude who plays Scrabulous with me, hurry up and have your turn. I’m beating you at the moment.
The Editor (Monday 12 May 2008, 10:59 am) #

Spew.
Wah (Monday 12 May 2008, 11:55 am) #

To my Scrabulous partner. I thought I’d delay having my turn so you can enjoy winning for a change.
Coffee sometime?
John Surname (Monday 12 May 2008, 11:59 am) #

Gender Bender
To the bald lesbian playing Yanni on the 75 tram. Your odour is most interesting, and I feel we have nothing in common.
Fair-trade coffee sometime?
Liv (Monday 12 May 2008, 12:41 pm) #

To the woman with the enormous bag of makeup on the 96 tram.

It is a tram, not your bathroom. We do not need to see you put on layers of muck on a daily basis, transforming yourself from Pale Insipid Spotty Woman to Garishly Painted Scary Woman.

Get up earlier. Do it in the bathroom at work. Do it at the tram stop. Just don’t do it in front of me.

Note to tram driver - a few more sudden braking efforts and she would have skewered her eyeball with her mascara wand. Please try harder tomorrow.

cheers
Keri (Monday 12 May 2008, 12:58 pm) #

Did everyone have a bad weekend or something?

To the young gentleman on the Hurstbridge to City train this morning. Thank you for giving me your seat when the gaggle of annoying school children got on. I was indeed too tired to stand.
Bron (Monday 12 May 2008, 1:03 pm) #

No Keri, it’s simply Monday today.
magic bellybutton (Monday 12 May 2008, 1:39 pm) #

To the bus driver who didn’t know where ANZAC Square was. Fucktard.
Ant Rogenous (Monday 12 May 2008, 2:01 pm) #

Don’t give up your day job
To the tram driver on the No.75 who uses his captive audience and PA system for experimental public transport-based sit-down comedy: just pipe down and drive the fucking tram already.
Wah (Monday 12 May 2008, 10:12 pm) #

To the woman who shook her head at me when I boarded the 4.50pm Sydenham train today, with half a brilliant Flinders Street station potato cake left and ate it - I’m sorry I looked at you with “what the fuck’s up your arse lady” look only to find later you had some kind of nervous twitch and weren’t actually disapproving of me eating on the train.
Milkshake sometime?
John Surname (Monday 12 May 2008, 10:47 pm) #

Wah - those potato cakes are as good as you describe. Just what I needed last Wednesday night. And 80c each! Bargain.
Krypto (Monday 12 May 2008, 11:05 pm) #

Liv I’m with you on the public aplication of make up thing, I mean make-up is a superfluous concept anyway but applying it in public, it lacks dignity doesn’t it?