GrodsCorp

Twin GrodsPolls

Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:16 pm

The Editor

Categories: GrodsPoll, Politics

Tags: parliament, tappability

Time to settle this once and for all. Who are the most tappable people in politics? You may choose one of the existing poll options ~~or add a new one~~, but make sure they are a current member of federal Parliament. Polls close COB Sunday.

UPDATE: Due to faulty technology you can’t add your own options. Leave a note for me in comments and I’ll add it for you.

Who is the most tappable female currently in federal Parliament?

Julie Bishop

Nicola Roxon

Kate Ellis

Tanya Plibersek

Sophie Mirabella

Jodie Campbell

Penny Wong

Julia Gillard

Bronwyn Bishop

Maxine McKew

View Results

Who is the most tappable male currently in federal Parliament?

Wilson Tuckey

Steve Fielding

Brendan Nelson

Christopher Pyne

Stephen Smith

Alexander Downer

Lindsay Tanner

Joe Hockey

John Faulkner

View Results

187 Comments

Magic Bellybutton (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:19 pm) #

My eyes! My eyes!
Zombie Mao (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:21 pm) #

Is Belinda Neel male or female ?
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:23 pm) #

Kate Ellis gets three votes already, at the time of writing this! While Julie Bishop and Nicola Roxon don’t.

As for the men — I refuse to vote. It’s not compulsory voting, right?
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:24 pm) #

Youse wimin folk fought long and hard for the right to vote. Don’t abuse that right, Bron.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:24 pm) #

Alright, I picked Brendan Nelson. He’s not an old fuddy duddy (Tuckey) and he’s not a Pentecostal, arm-waving, jibberish-speaking loony (Fielding). Plus, he’s a doctor.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:25 pm) #

You know you were allowed to add “Bill Heffernan” so you could vote for him, Bron.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:26 pm) #

Damn. There goes the ass vote.
The Intriguist (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:29 pm) #

Tanya Pilbersek. No doubt.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:30 pm) #

Could you add it and vote for it please, Intriguist? I can’t do it — already voted for my Kate.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:32 pm) #

I can’t add what I wanted to add.
The Intriguist (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:35 pm) #

Editor, I’m getting an error message when I try.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:40 pm) #

Damn this technology!

I’ve added Plibersek for you, Intriguist. Who do you want, Keri?
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:42 pm) #

Ed, I’m having the same trouble as The Intriguist — I’m trying to add Christopher Pyne and it won’t let me.

Then again, that might be god intervening.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:45 pm) #

Added.
Ray Dixon (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:53 pm) #

Wah’s voted 3 times already - for Julie. I’m trying to vote for Sophie Mirabella but she’s not there!
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:55 pm) #

Mirabella added.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:56 pm) #

A Donkey.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:57 pm) #

…already voted for my Kate. - Emphasis added.

Your’s now, Ed? Last I checked she had a nice, but rather waifish geek* for a boyfriend.

You should have said something earlier. I used to have her mobile number** from back when west Norwood was moved into the Adelaide electorate (saving us from having Chris Pyne for a member for another term).

Incidentally, why don’t you add Chris Pyne to the list of men? I wouldn’t vote for him of course, but I knew a number of guys back in Norwood who possibly would (vote to tap I mean, not actually tap - not that Christopher would go for all that being a family man and such).

* Which I don’t mean in the pejorative sense.
** Which has long since been deleted from my mobile - sorry Ed.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:57 pm) #

Nelson’s already there, Keri.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:57 pm) #

I saw her first, Bruce.
Damian (Thursday 12 June 2008, 12:58 pm) #

Intriguist beat me to it: Tanya first, daylight second and third.
The Intriguist (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:25 pm) #

I don’t think I’d go that far, Damian. Ellis photographs well, and she’d do a lot better to try assuming some of Pilbersek’s aura of dignity and elegance. At the moment she’s just another pretty girl.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:25 pm) #

Alright, who’s the wiseguy who voted for Sophie Mirabella?
Damian (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:27 pm) #

Intriguist, I beg to differ, old son.

You. Me. Carpark. Now.

(Wear your tweed.)
Damian (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:28 pm) #

(I also have a thing for Tanya after hearing her speak at antiwar demos way back when before Iraq was liberated. It’s a politically motivated tap.)
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:29 pm) #

Slapfight!
Damian (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:29 pm) #

Bron, I think Prodos called by to lodge his vote.
Ray Dixon (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:32 pm) #

Alright, who’s the wiseguy who voted for Sophie Mirabella?

No idea Bron.
Wah (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:33 pm) #

You forgot the lovely Jodie Campbell, Member for Bass - she’s a hottie

http://www.alp.org.au/people/campbell_jodie.php
Wah (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:34 pm) #

I’m not gay, but Stephen Smith …
The Intriguist (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:34 pm) #

I can’t beleive that Ellis would be able to give a speech like that. For a politically motivated tap (although outside the current Aussie Feds) you can’t go past Maggie Thatcher. How would that be a bumpy ride, wot!
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:35 pm) #

Jodie’s added.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:36 pm) #

Some of Wah’s best friends are gay.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:40 pm) #

Alright, who’s the wiseguy who voted for Sophie Mirabella?

That sent shivers up my spine (and in a bad way)!

On a few occasions, I’ve got into arguments with hot-headed conservative women that wind up in people either telling us to get a room, or them asking me what I’m doing on the weekend (as somewhat of an understated request for sex). I back peddle pretty quickly in these instances, let me tell you (”where are the hot under the collar lefty women?”, I ask).

However, they have all thus far, been capable of some level of human decency. I’d hate to get into a slanging match with someone like Sophie and have them come onto me.

Ewwwwww…

Speaking of “Ewwwwww…”, you need to add a few of the single, middle-aged ladies from the ALP. They seem interested / seem-to-feel-entitled-to younger progressive guys (amidst talking about who in the ALP of the 80s screwed who, which you really don’t want to know about). That and they all seem to have creepy false nails when they pinch your arse.

I wonder how many on the list already are going to get like that when they are older.
Magic Bellybutton (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:47 pm) #

Alright, who’s the wiseguy who voted for Sophie Mirabella?

Krypto
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:47 pm) #

(”where are the hot under the collar lefty women?”, I ask).

Ahem.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:54 pm) #

Ahem? They either seem to think that I’m just a nice progressive guy (which I am but which is beside the point) or that I’m a take home to meet parents guy (which I’m certainly not).

No angry sex for Bruce. :(
Damian (Thursday 12 June 2008, 1:57 pm) #

Some of Wah’s best friends are gay.

Dang, Ed. You beat me. But I was going to link to AWH…
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:06 pm) #

And “whoosh” is the sound that goes over Bruce’s head.

You asked “where are the hot under the collar lefty women?”.

Hello!

Actually, I’m just lukewarm today.
Ant Rogenous (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:06 pm) #

I reckon Penny Wong needs to be up there too.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:09 pm) #

Wong’s on.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:14 pm) #

That sounds wong.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:15 pm) #

Oh, Jesus, Bron.

Give her a warning, Ed.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:17 pm) #

First warning, Bron. Another wong and you’re out.
EC (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:23 pm) #

Loud LOL Bron!

Co-workers are lookin’ at me funny.
Evil Bill (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:29 pm) #

Where’s Julia? Some of us like like the odd Fanta pants.
Jason (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:33 pm) #

Nicola is way out in front among the girls. Pistols at dawn for anyone who suggests otherwise.

Bloke-wise, dontcha think blogger Dolly should be there? He’d rock. His pillow talk would be all like “As I said to Kofi Annan: who’s your daddy?”, and “I haven’t felt like this since Davos”.

On the Labor side, what about lethal Lindsay? Nothing’s as sexy as a bloke who writes fat, wonky policy analyses.
Wah (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:33 pm) #

Jesus - how did we forget Julia!
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:37 pm) #

You asked “where are the hot under the collar lefty women?”.

Hello!

Actually, I’m just lukewarm today.

Oh! They are all outside of Adelaide!
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:38 pm) #

All added.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:40 pm) #

While on the topic of evil women, what about Bronny Bishop?
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:42 pm) #

I am not evil!

Oh, you mean that Bronny…

Carry on, then.

BTW, NO ONE CALLS ME BRONNY. GOT IT?
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:44 pm) #

Bronny, that was foolish in the extreme.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:45 pm) #

Poor widdle Bwonny.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:45 pm) #

Why did I have the feeling that Keri would be first to try and push my buttons?
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:46 pm) #

Shut the fuck up, Ed.

I QUIT.
Zombie Mao (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:46 pm) #

Maxine McKew

Suprised she hasn’t been mentioned
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:46 pm) #

Oh, don’t be like that, Bwon-Bwon.

You knew I’d be the first to push your buttons because it’s what I do best.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:48 pm) #

Resignation not accepted (again), Bron.

Maxine added.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:55 pm) #

Yeah, didn’t think you’d accept my second resignation for today, Scotty2Hotty.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:55 pm) #

You knew I’d be the first to push your buttons because it’s what I do best.

I’m surprised someone’s not making the obvious puns about this. Being Grods after all, it’s like not having Fleshlight jokes.
Krypto (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:56 pm) #

the second poll is a trick question.

Whatd’ya think I am a flamin poofta [Alf Stwart voice] now bugger off down the surf club and play sport and drink milk shakes, don’t hang around here acting the goose.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:57 pm) #

I thought about that seconds after I posted it.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:57 pm) #

And what about Joe Hockey for the women with a chubby fetish?
Krypto (Thursday 12 June 2008, 2:59 pm) #

by the way MBB, I most certainly did NOT vote for Sophie Mirabella, I wouldn’t do her with Ed’s “thing”.

No I’d be looking to see if Andy Slandy left any cookie crumbs lying around.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:00 pm) #

I thought about that seconds after I posted it.

Just don’t think about it too much or Alf Stewart above will send you off to the surf club to watch the boys play sport. He may even make you help in the kitchen.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:01 pm) #

“Alf Stewart above will send you off to the surf club to watch the boys play sport”

Watch the boys play sport? Gee, that’s a terrible punishment, isn’t it?
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:04 pm) #

Watch the boys play sport? Gee, that’s a terrible punishment, isn’t it?

Consider that the boys will be watching each other too much to be paying you any attention, if you catch my drift (Alf Stewart obviously doesn’t or he wouldn’t have sent all these fine strapping lads down to prance around together with their shirts off - really, you can tell by the amount of product in their hair).
brerrabbit (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:04 pm) #

John Faulkner!! (as in, add him, now..)
He’s an intellectual with big glasses and a sense of humour, what more does anyone want??

On the other side of the fence, def Jodie Campbell - love the hair.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:05 pm) #

Incidentally, I know he’s not an MP, but can Alf Stewart be added to the poll?
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:06 pm) #

Bruce, that’s alright. They don’t need to be available for me to admire them.

Just because you browse the menu doesn’t mean you order everything, does it?
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:07 pm) #

John Faulkner!! (as in, add him, now..)

Oooh, yes of course! And he HATES journalists. Excellent.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:11 pm) #

Faulkner added.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:14 pm) #

Just because you browse the menu doesn’t mean you order everything, does it?

Well, I have difficulty going along with this line of reasoning I have to confess. When at a smorgasbord, I like to try and sample a little bit of everything.

Oddly enough, I think the analogy holds in other respects. It’s usually the dish that you want the most that you spend the least amount of time eating.

Like wanting to try a nice bit of fish, but having to go through two fat servings of pork first. ;-)
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:14 pm) #

Can we start our votes all over again with all these options since I cast my vote too soon?

No? Fine, then.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:15 pm) #

Faulkner added.

What about Alf?
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:17 pm) #

Alf Faulkner?
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:17 pm) #

Bron: “Can we start our votes all over again with all these options since I cast my vote too soon?”

You knows the rules, Bwon.

Bruce: “What about Alf?”

First warning, Bruce.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:18 pm) #

When I’m at a smorgasboard, I tend to get more of the things I already like. But I’m not averse to trying things I haven’t before.

We are still talking food, yes?

Personally, I try and savour the things I like, and rush through the things I don’t.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:19 pm) #

Alf Stewart, Bwon-Bwon.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:19 pm) #

First warning, Bruce.

It’s because Alf Stewart was a Vietnam vet, isn’t it, you inner-city, elitist lefty? ;-)
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:21 pm) #

No, it’s because he’s a flamin’ Drongo, Bruce.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:21 pm) #

Personally, I try and savour the things I like, and rush through the things I don’t.

In general, I take my time when eating out. I wouldn’t want to offend anyone.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:22 pm) #

Well, I suppose it depends on how good the food tastes, doesn’t it?
Dave from Albury (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:23 pm) #

Excuse me, can we please get back to important things, like Keri pushing Bronny’s buttons?
Jason (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:26 pm) #

Jeez Brendan Nelson is doing remarkably well.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:26 pm) #

Well, I suppose it depends on how good the food tastes, doesn’t it?

You can usually tell by the smell before hand and find a convenient excuse to either try something else, or if it’s late in the night, pretend you’ve already eaten.
The Editor (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:27 pm) #

Jason: “Jeez Brendan Nelson is doing remarkably well.”

It’s the only poll he’s got a chance of winning.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:27 pm) #

Excuse me, can we please get back to important things, like Keri pushing Bronny’s buttons?

You and your filthy double entendres!
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:28 pm) #

“pretend you’ve already eaten”

I’m tipping that wouldn’t er, go down too well.
Magic Bellybutton (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:30 pm) #

by the way MBB, I most certainly did NOT vote for Sophie Mirabella, I wouldn’t do her with Ed’s “thing”.

Ed’s elephant stamp?
Ed’s fleshlight?
Ed’s misplaced belief in his own importance?
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:30 pm) #

Alf Stewart, Bwon-Bwon.

I know, Ker-Ker.
Jason (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:30 pm) #

Editor - I wouldn’t be surprised if the number of people who wouldn’t mind tapping him actually exceeded the number of people prepared to vote for him.
Krypto (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:30 pm) #

I can picture Alf Stewart being the kind of angry gay guy in denial that would hang around the glory hole in the Summer Bay men’s public toilets actually.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:31 pm) #

I’ve been called worse, Bwonny.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:32 pm) #

I’m tipping that wouldn’t er, go down too well.

Better that than shucking a smelly oyster.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:32 pm) #

Excuse me, can we please get back to important things, like Keri pushing Bronny’s buttons?

Has Davey the Gravy had his first warning today, yet?
Krypto (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:32 pm) #

MBB, I wouldn’t do Sophie Mirabella with any of those things, or Ed’s penis for that matter.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:34 pm) #

True, Bruce.

But there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:34 pm) #

I’ve been called worse, Bwonny.

Yes, I know, and I could call you worse, Ker-Ker, but this is a family blog.
Jason (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:35 pm) #

There’s not a lot of love on this thread given that it’s about tapping strangers.
Dave from Albury (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:36 pm) #

Has Davey the Gravy had his first warning today, yet?

Do you want some meat with your gravy Bronny?
Zombie Mao (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:37 pm) #

sick perverts the lot of you

mmmmmmmmmmmm Kate Ellis
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:39 pm) #

But there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

Yes, but not a smelly oyster. Even if the hairs are removed it doesn’t make a difference.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:39 pm) #

Do you want some meat with your gravy Bronny?

Yeah, the rump, please, Dee-Dee.
Krypto (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:44 pm) #

Look, it may be harder than trying to find integrity in the Liberal party to come up with a decent photo of Jodie Campbell, but trust me, see her on question time, she’s hot.
Wah (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:55 pm) #

You’re right Krypto, she sits behind where the Labor MPs get up and speak - she looked particularly nice last week.

I agree with Bron, now we have the submissions we should have a new vote, with no more correspondence entered into. You’re undemocratic Mr Editor.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 3:57 pm) #

“Yes, but not a smelly oyster. Even if the hairs are removed it doesn’t make a difference”

You don’t have to eat it though, Bruce. There are other ways of, erm, imbibing.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:06 pm) #

There are other ways of, erm, imbibing.

I don’t think I’d care to partake of these other ways either if the oyster is smelly, is what I’m saying. That and trying to steer things away from talk about the skinning of cats; the dueling banjos crowd aroused and think we are talking about things other than smörgåsbords and seafood.

And speaking of old smoked halibut; Danna Vale.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:07 pm) #

It’s a well-known fact that The Editor is really a dictator. He’s a leftie, you see. And apparently all dictators are lefties.

Ker-Ker, pray do tell how to imbibe oysters? Nose? Ear? Skin pores?
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:07 pm) #

“…the dueling banjos crowd… could get …aroused…”, dammit.
Lucifer (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:08 pm) #

I voted for Sophie. And I am the real father.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:08 pm) #

Oh Bwuce, I thought you meant they already ARE aroused.

Danna Vale? GET OUT OF HERE.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:11 pm) #

Ker-Ker, pray do tell how to imbibe oysters? Nose? Ear? Skin pores?

I was assuming that Keri got a little confused with the wording and was trying to suggest that a kebab stick could be used as an alternative to shucking, rather than suggesting nasal ingestion.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:11 pm) #

I voted for Sophie. And I am the real father.

Ah, Lucifer, so that’s why Belinda Neal called Sophie’s kid a “demon”.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:12 pm) #

I was assuming that Keri got a little confused…

She always is. That’s why she and I get on like a house on fire. Two confused chicks. What more could you want?
JT (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:14 pm) #

I 130.76% agree Krypto. I look forward to ‘Order in the House’ viewing the lovely Ms. Campbell sitting behind the Labor speaker.

By the way Ed, where’s Bob Katter?
Dave from Albury (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:14 pm) #

How sad for Belinda Neal, had she been able to contain herself for a few more weeks her Sophie jibe may have made her a hero rather than someone who required counselling.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:15 pm) #

What more could you want?

A six pack of trappiste beer and some fresh oysters, delivered to my door.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:15 pm) #

No, no. No confusion.

I wasn’t suggesting nasal inhalation, though. Or kebab.

And as long as the trappist beer is Leffe, I’m there.
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:19 pm) #

WTF is trappist beer?
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:20 pm) #

Beer brewed by trappist monks.

What kind of lefty are you, Bwon?
Bron (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:21 pm) #

A lefty who realises that all beer tastes shit.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:26 pm) #

I wasn’t suggesting nasal inhalation, though. Or kebab.

You better not have been suggesting any way of imbibing oysters that have cheese on them.

And as long as the trappist beer is Leffe, I’m there.

I have some Leffe, but that’s an abbey beer, not a trappiste. I was thinking Rochefort; tasty and makes me do irresponsible things.
keri (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:27 pm) #

Oh, true, Bruce.

Rochefort is good, but I do prefer Leffe. Especially on tap.
Bruce (Thursday 12 June 2008, 4:30 pm) #

Rochefort is good, but I do prefer Leffe. Especially on tap.

Yeah, but Leffe didn’t make me lay a big smoochie kiss on the cheek of the groom at a buck’s night last year. The photo of which strangely enough has gone missing.