Tapology
 | Posted by The Editor on Wednesday 18 June 2008, 8:52 am Categories: Science, Society Tags: Tags: tapology |
Here at GrodsCorp we’re often asked what we’re on about when we make comments that simply contain the word “tap”. The science of tapology is mysterious so the other night when Craig and I were at a pub with cause to drink numerous glasses of scotch we sketched out the following flow chart.
If it can’t be flowcharted it’s not worth knowing
After discussions with most of the GrodsTeam at the GrodsThink record last night, and taking into account some minor alterations, I’ve hereby codified the theory of Tapology and made it official. I hope this chart clears things up for all GrodsReaders — perhaps consider printing it out and putting it in your wallet.
You obviously start with “boy” or “girl” depending on your personal tap preference
GrodsThink Ep.29 (26/8/08)
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 9:04 am #Ant Rogenous
Brilliant.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 9:47 am #EC
The stars bit needs more explanation. So 2 stars is okay sober?
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 9:54 am #The Editor
Yep. 2-5 stars is okay sober. The rationale is that you make an instant gut tap/no tap decision. After that decision you need to grade your “tap” from 1 star (barely tap) to 5 stars (world class tap). If you’re a borderline tap you’re required to reconsider.
Look, it made a lot of sense at 11pm the other night in the pub.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 10:33 am #Chuck A. Spear
This flowchart needs to be printed out on business cards for quick and easy reference and handed out with a Sexpo showbag with a free condom, lube and discount voucher for Magic Mountain in Bayswater.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 10:41 am #EC
Thanks Ed, that clears things up.
*heads over to Hyde Park for “morning tea break”*
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 12:16 pm #Bron
Yeah, makes sense…
Um. No, it doesn’t. Many problems with it, but my head will explode if I try to point them out.
I’m off to Hyde Park for “morning tear break” too. Except it’s “lunch” now.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 12:17 pm #Bron
Oh dear, “morning TEAR break”??
That was not deliberate, I SWEAR!
Apt, though.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 12:49 pm #Ant Rogenous
HA!
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 1:10 pm #Bron
Be quiet, Ant.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 1:16 pm #Ray Dixon
I think it’s saying that if you’re drunk, everyone gets a “tap”.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 1:39 pm #Damian
Congratulations, Ed and Craig. That is certifiable twelve-karat fucking gold. Well done.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 1:41 pm #Krypto
no, it’s been a while since we’ve seen an algorythm post, good stuff Ed.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 3:50 pm #albi
Are Ed and Craig an item?
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 3:51 pm #The Editor
Craig wishes.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 9:02 pm #LTRTTC
Hi Ed. Would you please provide us all with a Revised Theory of Tapology.
Preferably one that doesn’t go straight from concept to conclusion, then jumps to some after thoughts and has no decision points in between.
i.e.
……………….G / B
…Y / DRUNK / N / …. / 1 STAR / 2 /3etc.
………… TAP / NO TAP
I’ll have you know I take my tapping seriously and I don’t want some minor detail fucking up the experience.
Otherwise, great work Ed, keep it up.
Albert E.
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 11:23 pm #Bridgit Gread
Albert, refer to your previous work
e=mc2
Where:
e = ethanol consumption
m = motive
c = coitus
2 = number of stars
Wednesday 18 June 2008, 11:51 pm #John Surname
NASA is studying this chart to see if its wisdom can help future generations.
Prognosis - positive.
Thursday 19 June 2008, 12:26 pm #Wah
I agree with LTRTTC - it’s confusing how it goes straight to Tap. If it goes straight to tap than all the info is redundant.
It would so mean that we’d all be very fucking happy with life.