GrodsCorp

GrodsNibbles: The Editor returns edition

Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:03 pm

The Editor

Categories: Corporate stupidity, GrodsNibbles, Politics, Public transport

Tags: BelindaNeal, BrendanNelson, Iguanagate, JBHiFi, LynneKosky

Look, I’ve been a bit distracted these past two weeks, okay? I know I’m the first GrodsTeam member among equal GrodsTeam members and I have a responsibility to keep posting and commenting on this website, but sometimes real life walks into the blogging room wearing a ticking vest of shit-to-fuck-your-life-up bombs and martyrs itself. So shut up. Here are a few GrodsNibbles I’ve jotted down recently.

1) Iguanagate
I’ve been very much out of the news loop this past week or so and the whole “Iguanagate” “scandal” bemuses me. Ken L at Road To Surfdom summed it up beautifully when he wrote this.

It’s remarkable how being out of Australia for even 10 days, liberated from daily exposure to the news, can provide fresh perspectives on life.

On arriving home I found that the story du jour was about something called ‘iguanagate’ - the very name reeked so much of triviality and childishness that I couldn’t be bothered trying to find out what it was all about.

I mean, seriously. Is this the most important political issue in this country? Even in the top 100? If someone was visiting this country and picked up a paper to see what’s going down politicially they’d be within their rights to consider our nation to be a total joke. As my kids at school say in these instances: What. Evah. Maaaaaan.

2) Nelson Iguanagate doorstop gold
Of course Bren-doc Nelson has jumped on this total non-issue faster than a customs official on a heroin-filled condom that fell out of a smuggler’s arse. In a doorstop yesterday he gave four long answers to hard-hitting journalist questions, crapping on about how Belinda Neal and the Labor Party are destroying democracy, but did a brilliant u-turn and quickly aborted the interview when a journalist changed the course of the questioning and addressed a much more important issue.

QUESTION: A Labor official claims that the racist pamphlets handed out during the election campaign in the seat of Lindsay were created in a Liberal MPs office. What do you think about these claims and should there be some sort of investigation?

DR NELSON: Well, as we know from the Iguana Joe incident, Labor people will say and do anything.

Thanks.

P to the W to the N to the E to the D.

3) Rolling stock belongs to laughing stock
Australia’s most useless public transport minister, Lynne Kosky, has claimed that she didn’t release tender documents to the public (leaked recently by the Liberal opposition) because the uneducated plebs might find them “confusing”. Of course the public would find them confusing; after reading them I’m at a loss to work out how the government could possibly screw the system even more. In an effort to attract bids for running a system that is already at 100% capacity with no prospect of real investment in infrastructure, the Labor government is offering to reimburse most of the costs of tendering and restrict fines for bad service.

Disgraceful. Just disgraceful.

4) JB Hi-Fi is, like, so gnarly, dude
It’s official: JB Hi-Fi’s catalogues are written by 11 year olds.

I certainly felt the sickness when I read this

17 Comments

keri (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:24 pm) #

Did that actually say “THE SICKNESS”?

Oh, lord.
magic bellybutton (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:32 pm) #

But it should have been “Teh sickness !!!11!!1!”
Jeremy (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:32 pm) #

I tried doing a competition podcast last night, going through your podcast plan email (until the fact that there was no space on the iriver on which to record it made the thing explode), and I’m glad you’ve explained what was going on with Iguanagate, because I had nothing.
Dave from Albury (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:36 pm) #

Have you been away Ed?
The Editor (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:37 pm) #

Not physically.
Chuck A. Spear (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:58 pm) #

It should read, “teh sickness”.
Bron (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 3:59 pm) #

Re Iguanagate, now it’s taking a turn for the worse — if that’s possible.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/mp-thrown-out-for-stuffed-iguana/2008/06/25/1214073317236.html

So childish.

And good to have you back, Ed!
Zombie Mao (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 4:33 pm) #

It’s school report season eh ?

Oh it was a stuffed iguana. I thought it was Phillip Ruddock.
Bridgit Gread (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 4:59 pm) #

Only the standard X-BOX was advertised with the slogan ‘THE SICKNESS’.

The Emo version was badged with ‘THE PAIN’ while the Nerd version had ‘THE MALAISE’.
EC (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 5:28 pm) #

Stuffed iguana. Unbelievable.

Save $537! I can give you the sickness for free.

Off topic, but doesn’t it give you the screaming shits when you’re sick and there’s 500 things to be done at work by yesterday and people say “Just go home”. I WILL GO HOME WHEN THIS FRACKING REPORT IS WRITTEN FRACKHEAD.

I feel better now. Thanks for listening.
Bron (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 5:32 pm) #

Just go home, EC.
EC (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 5:35 pm) #

Arrrghhhh!
John Surname (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 5:49 pm) #

Seriously. We’ve had enough of your type around here.
Ant Rogenous (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 6:16 pm) #

I worked for JB Hi-Fi many moons ago and can report that it was — and reportedly still is — run by buffoons, miscreants and charlatans.
John Surname (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 6:32 pm) #

Very profitable buffoons, miscreants and charlatans.
Bruce (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 8:43 pm) #

At least it wasn’t “The Shizzle, Dawg!“, in the JB junkmail.
Mikey (Wednesday 25 June 2008, 10:31 pm) #

Good call. The Iguana incident - and I won’t even demean “Gate” by linking it, is a fanny fart compared to the travesty of democracy that was the Lindsay incident.

Was there jail for those people who attempted to subvert an election? No.

A $750 fine.

Where was Emo Munster Man then? No fucking where.