When I called my new ISP this morning to check on the progress of my intertubes connection the man said, “Ergh, ummm, ergh, probably the seventh.”

And here’s what the ISP’s connection status page said about my intertubes connection at 1:45pm this afternoon.

They’re making this up as they go along.

UPDATE (3:50pm): The website was telling the truth. I’m online!!1!