grodscorp@grods.comWhat hubris?
 | Posted by The Editor on Friday 4 July 2008, 11:12 am Categories: Environment, Media, Politics Tags: AndrewBolt, HeraldSun, hubris |
Oh dear. Andrew Bolt has gone into martyr overdrive today in celebrating the ten year anniversary of his column in the Herald Sun.
Here’s yet another page or more of me telling you what I think. Such arrogance.
And the worst is that this has been going on for a decade. In fact, it was this week 10 years ago that I was given this twice-weekly column.
Bolta reckons he’s learned a few lessons in those ten years. Let’s have a look at them one-by-one.
Lesson 1: Don’t be shy. If I don’t fill this column space, it’s sure to be filled by an even greater idiot.
Proof?
For instance, if I hadn’t filled this space with columns warning that then Labor leader Mark Latham had character flaws that could “completely destroy not just Latham, but Labor”, you’d almost certainly have had to read the exact opposite, given almost every other columnist supported him.
Truth be told, I didn’t realise that Bolta was single handedly responsible for Mark Latham losing the 2004 election. I was under the impression that Latham was single handedly responsible for Latham losing the election.
Lesson 2: Toot your own triumphs.
As shown. After all, when you start criticising fellow journalists, you’re up for pack-payback, and it’s wise to give readers some reason to think you’re not as advertised: a “village idiot”, “extremist”, “lap-dog”, “mad professor”, and, of course, “racist”.
Of course, Andy. You talk yourself up only to defend yourself. Nothing to do with being full of yourself.
Lesson 3: Facts seem barely to count against a moral crusade.
So Bolta has made it his stock in trade to counter with carefully selected facts that support his own moral crusade.
Lesson 4: The more moral the campaign, the less likely journalists are to tell the truth.
[...]
Here, for instance, are some of the facts which I found the more fashionable journalists refusing to report for fear the truth would destroy their Truth.
- The world stopped warming in 1998.
- No one can name even 10 Aboriginal children stolen from their parents just because they were black.
[...]
- Several people “helped” by euthanasia guru Philip Nitschke were not dying, or even in pain.
Name just three, Andrew. Just three. (Also, do you like the way he uses a capital ‘T’ for the other journalists’ “Truth”?)
Lesson 5: Reporting facts that others won’t will make you seem mad.
Oops.
Your seeming mad has to do with other things, Andy.
Lesson 6. But being wrong hurts more than being mocked.
At first that wasn’t so. Who wants to be thought evil or dumb?
But keep your job and your cool long enough, and the truth will quietly out.
If there’s one thing that Bolta has never been able to keep, it’s his cool. A shriller, more grumpy “journalist” the world has never seen.
Lesson 7: When facts alone don’t count, naming and shaming might.
[...]
I started to call Prof Robert Manne, the leading theorist of the “stolen generations”, its leading “propagandist” instead, and I challenged him: “Name just 10 truly ‘stolen’ children.”
Personalising it like this invites revenge, that’s true, and can seem too nasty. But it can also hotly prod a response when cold facts don’t.
Manne, enraged, decided to take our debate public - to the Melbourne Writers’ Festival - and the rest is history, Manne and his list included. Just name 10, Robert.
Oh, I see. All that shrill stuff is just a journalistic tool to out Truth (sic). Makes perfect sense.
Lesson 8 - There is no “everyone”.
When someone says “everyone agrees”, they usually mean everyone like them - and that is especially true when “everyone” is the teacher-preacher class that hogs microphones, pulpits and newspaper keyboards, drowning out debate.
And Bolta sure does have a hard time getting heard. He has a twice weekly, full page column in Australia’s best selling newspaper, he appears regularly on several radio stations, he is a panelist on Insiders, and next week he’s following in Timmeh Blair’s underwhelming footsteps and appearing on Q & A. Those damn lefties and their debate-stifling ways.
On the set of Insiders I had to be given the lone chair on the far right of the screen. This, because I had the nerve to share the judgment of most Australians over four elections.
Hearts fucking bleed, Bolta.
But what is the moral of Bolta’s tale of self-love?
And that brings me to the ultimate lesson I’ve learned over these 10 years: that it’s best to write for your readers, not your peers.
Some may think you a fool or a bighead and too often wrong. But if most figure you’re just trying your best to describe things as they are, you might just have a job for a decade.
And may you bring us regular doses of “journalistic” hilarity for another ten years to come, Andy. Happy birthday.
GrodsThink Ep.31 (16/9/08)
Friday 4 July 2008, 11:22 am #Bron
And that brings me to the ultimate lesson I’ve learned over these 10 years: that it’s best to write for your readers, not your peers.
Because his readers are the only ones who will swallow anything he spews, right? His peers, on the other hand, might not be so sycophantic.
Friday 4 July 2008, 11:47 am #Zombie Mao
His peers haven’t finished Kindergarten yet thus cannot read.
Friday 4 July 2008, 11:52 am #keri
I think Bron’s said it better than I ever could.
Friday 4 July 2008, 11:59 am #Wah
Lesson 9 - Be a cunt.
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:02 pm #Bridgit Gread
Very nice post. I enjoyed reading that over
a lattean instant coffee.Congrats on your ten year anniversary, Dutchy, you preening, pontificating egomaniac.
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:21 pm #John Surname
I’m drinking NesCafe now. This is pathetic. I drink instant coffee and don’t live in the inner-suburbs. I’m the worst lefty ever. I’m joining the Liberals (with Wah).
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:22 pm #keri
You’re no LeftyBot, that’s for sure.
Please select indignation.
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:23 pm #The Editor
You don’t even live in the outer suburbs, Surname. You live closer to Canberra than Melbourne.
And I’m kinda glad I was offline during Wah’s conversion to the Liberals. I’m not sure how I would’ve responded.
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:29 pm #John Surname
Here is a rare pic of Ed and Wah, after Wah voted Liberal and Ed killed himself in disappointment:
“WHY DID I DO IT? WHY DID I VOTE LIBERAL?!“
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:30 pm #The Editor
Why is Wah screaming?
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:32 pm #keri
He’s got icky lefty blood all over his hands, Ed.
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:45 pm #Wah
You leftards are no better than Bolt with your stubborn one-eyed views.
Drink your lattes, put your sandals on, get in your Toyota Prius cars and fuck off!
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:51 pm #The Editor
Wah, I’m only disappointed because when you are elected Liberal leader to replace Bren-doc you won’t be able to claim that you’ve never voted Liberal in your life.
Friday 4 July 2008, 12:54 pm #The Intriguist
I love when the Left gets abusive from the regret that its not Right.
Otherwise, how can I top the wonderfully articulate poetry of Wah’s rational rebuttal?
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:01 pm #The Editor
I think you’ll find, Intriguist, that as friends of Wah outside the blogosphere we’re giving him shit in a friendly way that he’s giving back just as hard. There’s no statement to be made about left/right here.
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:15 pm #David
I just went to The Intriguist’s web site in the hope that he, too, had been taking the piss. Now I need a shower followed by a large triple whiskey.
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:17 pm #David
Actually, I could have saved myself the trouble if I’d paid more attention to the fact that he can’t use fucking apostrophes!!11!
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:18 pm #The Editor
It’s a bit like that, David. This was a particularly icky post.
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:20 pm #Ant Rogenous
Just this morning, I accidentally put a little more milk into my muesli than usual. I love it how the Left does that.
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:23 pm #The Editor
And GrodsCorp is built on the WordPress software so clearly all WordPress blogs are lefty blogs.
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:26 pm #Ant Rogenous
I love how the Left just made me another cup of tea before seating itself back at my desk.
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:29 pm #Mikey
They give him the lone chair because otherwise Sunday morning Australia would be exposed to his 90 degree angled legs and give us a massive crotch shot of those fucking tan pants he always wears.
Friday 4 July 2008, 1:40 pm #John Surname
Yikes, moron alert.
Friday 4 July 2008, 2:01 pm #skeptic
I’ve just sat down at my desk in st kilda road with my latte I made myself.
What a fuckin’ lefty twat.
Friday 4 July 2008, 2:05 pm #Ant Rogenous
What is it with the Left and twats?
Friday 4 July 2008, 4:22 pm #The Intriguist
I don’t quite understand, Ed. I comment on the articles, not the general discussion. I used pronouns, Bolt being the Right (also notice my use of a dramatically original and cutting pun) and using yourself as an example of the left.
“Nothing to do with being full of yourself.”
“carefully selected facts that support his own moral crusade.”
“A shriller, more grumpy “journalist” the world has never seen.”
““journalistic” hilarity”
(and to break my general rule of not commenting on the discussion)
Thanks David, a new reader is always welcome.
Friday 4 July 2008, 4:27 pm #The Editor
But Bolt’s not the Right. Says so himself.
And this is clearly a comment about the post and not the resulting comment thread discussion:
“…how can I top the wonderfully articulate poetry of Wah’s rational rebuttal?”
Friday 4 July 2008, 4:28 pm #keri
You specifically commented on Wah and his “Wah’s rational rebuttal?” which was, in fact, Wah giving Ed shit.
You didn’t comment on the article in general at all.
Be honest and just admit you got caught.
Friday 4 July 2008, 7:21 pm #Krypto
Wah your surname isn’t Faustus by any chance is it?
In keeping with the Bolta and the arrows theme…http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v79/johnnystress/Saints/St_Sebastian_small.jpg
Monday 7 July 2008, 12:24 pm #The Intriguist
I don’t believe Bolt on this one. His angle doesn’t wash with me, like it seems to not with you. Referencing a source is not commenting on it. Sardonicism/sarcasm doesn’t seem to carry well in text.
Monday 7 July 2008, 12:25 pm #Julie
I thought Bolta was kept separated on The Insiders for his own safety, to prevent the other guests from punching him.
Monday 7 July 2008, 1:47 pm #The Intriguist
That would be entertaining!