grodscorp@grods.comJoey Chestnut: true sporting hero
 | Posted by The Editor on Saturday 5 July 2008, 10:02 am Categories: Sport, Them crazy..., Weird shit Tags: CompetitiveEating, HorseshoeSandwich, Hotdog, JoeyChestnut |
If you’re going to be a successful competitive eater then you might as well have a kewl name.
Hi, I’m Joey Chestnut. I’m here to help.
US defending champion Joey Chestnut won the annual Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest overnight by downing 64 hot dogs in a competition that stretched into a first-ever overtime.
Mr Chestnut, of San Jose, California, defeated six-time champion Takeru Kobayashi of Japan in the annual event held at New York’s Coney Island beach.
The two were tied at 59 hot dogs a piece at the end of the regulation 10 minutes, forcing a sudden death overtime to determine which man could eat five more hot dogs in the shortest time.
(source)
Competitive eating is serious stuff; anyone who doubts me should rent out Taxidermia. The training regime practiced by Mr Chestnut is different to that depicted in the film but is still pretty extreme.
Chestnut trains by fasting and by stretching his stomach with milk and water. Three days before winning a chicken-eating contest in Boston, in November 2005, Chestnut drank gallons of water in under one minute and ate buffalo wings to get his stomach accustomed to them. As of July 4, 2006, his competition weight was 220 pounds (100 kg).
Hot dogs are the mainstay of competitive eating in the USA but the sheer range of foods that JoChe (as he’s know to his close friends) has scoffed to win titles is impressive, and pretty bloody funny (and a study in the shitness of American food.) Check out some of these:
* Grilled cheese sandwiches
* Pork ribs
* Deep fried asparagus
* Pizza Hut special items
* Pulled pork (not in any way related to interference with farm animals before their slaughter for food)
* Horseshoe sandwiches
What are horseshoe sandwiches? I’m glad you asked.
Heart attack on a plate
The horseshoe sandwich originated in Springfield, Illinois. This open-faced sandwich begins with thick-sliced toasted sourdough bread, and a couple of hamburger patties or ham. The meat is topped with french fries and smothered with a “secret” cheese sauce. With its many variations, it is a local favorite not often found outside Central Illinois.
Many people would laugh at Joey Chestnut’s achievements and mock his sport, but here at GrodsCorp we’d like to salute Joey Chestnut: a true sporting hero.
Joey Chestnut fights his gag reflex while smoking a sausage
GrodsThink Ep.31 (16/9/08)
Saturday 5 July 2008, 11:48 am #Bron
Hmm. So, what’s for lunch?!
Saturday 5 July 2008, 12:09 pm #John Surname
It’s every woman’s dream.
Saturday 5 July 2008, 2:30 pm #Krypto
he can haz cheezburger?
Saturday 5 July 2008, 8:41 pm #Wah
Imagine his shit!
Saturday 5 July 2008, 8:49 pm #Bron
Uh.
Think I’ll pass, Wah.
Saturday 5 July 2008, 9:21 pm #Wah
No, Bron, really, imagine the size of his shit!
Saturday 5 July 2008, 9:29 pm #Bron
BUT I DON’T WANT TO, OKAAAAAAY?!
Saturday 5 July 2008, 9:32 pm #Wah
What about you Ant! JUST IMAGINE THE GUY’S SHIT!
Saturday 5 July 2008, 10:34 pm #Ray Dixon
I think he’d just chuck it all up, Wah.
Saturday 5 July 2008, 10:35 pm #Ray Dixon
Imagine his vomit!
Saturday 5 July 2008, 10:48 pm #Bron
God, you men are just so disgusting with your imaginations.
Saturday 5 July 2008, 11:02 pm #Ray Dixon
But Bron, vomit is not as disgusting as shit, surely. I mean, it’s not err, fully processed.
Saturday 5 July 2008, 11:50 pm #Bron
If I may borrow a Wah-ism for a moment, get fucked.
Sunday 6 July 2008, 12:19 am #Ray Dixon
Well, talking about ‘bodily functions’!
Sunday 6 July 2008, 1:20 am #Wah
Having had children Ray, I can say that vomit is far worse than shit.
Sunday 6 July 2008, 2:09 am #Bruce
What about both? Severe risk of gastro me thinks.
I can picture him gushing from both ends, spinning around on his side like an Angus Young guitar solo, propelled like an over-agitated bottle of coke that has burst at top and bottom and is doing its best impression of a pinwheel. Painting the walls with alternating Technicolor and brown sploshes like a coprophillic Pro Hart.
Grossed out yet?
Sunday 6 July 2008, 3:19 am #Bron
Apart from Wah having had children, despite being a male which would make having had children biologically impossible but interesting… I now want to hear more about Bruce’s “gross outs”.
Hold on… Did I make sense?
Sunday 6 July 2008, 3:22 am #Bron
No, I didn’t.
Sunday 6 July 2008, 3:25 am #Wah
Bron, how do you know I’m not transgender and had my breasts removed and, penis implanted while keeping my reproducticve organs?
Sunday 6 July 2008, 5:34 am #Bruce
You been drinking as well, Bron?
I’m off to bed now. Weeeeee…
Sunday 6 July 2008, 1:14 pm #Ray Dixon
My guess is that when everyone got up this morning and read what they wrote about shit & vomit last night, they’ll throw up.
Sunday 6 July 2008, 1:15 pm #Ray Dixon
“They threw up” (sorry, still recovering)
Sunday 6 July 2008, 2:12 pm #Krypto
nom nom nom, it haz a flavur!!1!!!1
Sorry, I’ve been reading those blogs, they’re addictive.
Sunday 6 July 2008, 2:25 pm #Bron
Bruce, having been forced to attend my own niece’s christening surrounded by a dozen children all under the age of five, yes, I had been drinking — to dull the senses.
Ray, nope, didn’t throw up today, but bloody hell, my head hurts. Still. I’m never getting drunk again.
Wah, I knew deep down inside you’re really just a girl.
Sunday 6 July 2008, 5:07 pm #keri from her phone
you lot should remember the dangers of drinking and typing.
Monday 7 July 2008, 1:23 am #Bruce
Why is the blogosphere hung-over today? I’m not!
HAHAAAAAAA!!!
Monday 7 July 2008, 8:18 am #John Surname
Bron = drinky-drinky
Monday 7 July 2008, 10:48 am #wari lasi
This whole post tested my gag reflex. Doesn’t he know frankfurts are made from lips and arseholes?
Monday 7 July 2008, 12:40 pm #Bron
Surname = holier-than-thou cunt.
Monday 7 July 2008, 12:49 pm #Ant Rogenous
Doesn’t he know frankfurts are made from lips and arseholes?
And cased in baboons’ arse skin.
Tuesday 8 July 2008, 9:13 am #Prophet
Surname, didnt you write something on this guy months back?
Tuesday 8 July 2008, 1:10 pm #John Surname
I sincerely hope not.