We’ve seen before some dodgy doorstop transcript action coming out of Brendan Nelson’s office, but this effort from last Friday is pretty bloody awesome. Check out how gnarly the transcript gets when Bren-doc gets asked the hard Costello questions.

QUESTION: On a federal issue [inaudible] Peter Costello is undeniably the best political asset now that Howard is gone [inaudible]

DR NELSON: Well look…

It’s a black hawk. [inaudible] The guys are doing a training exercise. Yeah. [inaudible] Yeah, that’s right – Morris is being evacuated from the building.

The only I have got to say is that I am attending and I will be addressing a function tonight in Melbourne in honour of the extraordinary public service to date of Peter Costello in Australia. He is a truly great Australian. We are a stronger, more prosperous and confident country as a result of Peter’s management of the economy, particularly over the last almost 12 years.

What. The. Fuck. “It’s a black hawk. [inaudible] The guys are doing a training exercise. Yeah. [inaudible] Yeah, that’s right – Morris is being evacuated from the building.” Is that seriously pieced together from words that came out of Nelson’s mouth, or is it some stray cut-and-paste action from the work experience kid’s (and office transcriber) internet browsing adventures?

And the next question/ answer exchange in the interview is extremely enlightening.

QUESTION: [inaudible]

DR NELSON: Well look I’ve got nothing else to add to it.

Fair enough.