I know that I seem like the coolest guy to ever walk on the face of this planet, and what I’m about to say may shock you, but I am a bit of a nerd. Hard to believe, I know, but it’s true.

So last night I went to see the cult classic 1986 fillum Labyrinth on the big screen at ACMI. Along with so many other people it’s a favourite of mine, and a whole cinema load of nerds were there to spend their Saturday night watching David Bowie’s codpiece in 35mm glory

Apparently the codpiece got its own trailer on the film set

As I sat there waiting for the film to begin I noticed the girl sitting next to me. She was your totally stereotypical Sci Fi nerd: clothes that are a bit NQR, hairstyle at least fifteen years out of fashion, and a bulky Harry Potter novel in hand. Then this guy who looked totally non-Sci Fi walked up and sat down next to her. He looked like a cool surfer dude who works out, and a Saturday night screening of Labyrinth was the last place he seemed to belong. But fuck me if sparks didn’t start to fly. Dude started talking to chick, and it was overbearing confidence meets mouse-like shyness. He introduced himself and told her about all the ways he loved this film. She slowly came out of her shell and her body language shifted noticeably from completely introverted to the kind of thing you see in bars when hormones are raging. It was awesome and disgusting at the same time.

During the film they sung along to the songs with gusto, and the chick ate from the dude’s popcorn box. At the end of the film they got up and left together. Fairytale love forged during a fairytale film. Beautiful.

Bowie’s cock implant was pretty bloody frightening still.