Vote ‘1′ Dr Brendan (I’m a doctor) Nelson

1) His forehead is unnaturally large.

2) He tries really hard to defend conservative values but fails miserably.

3) He gets selective amnesia after horse trading conversations with Steve Fielding.

4) He blames latte-sipping teachers for making kids reluctant to join the army.

5) He performed a spectacular backflip with triple pike over the indigenous apology.

6) He is an embarrassing, try-hard guitar tragic.

7) He is terribly hypocritical by attacking Kevin Rudd for missing question time during the same week that Alexander Downer skipped QT for a long lunch.

8) He is less popular than herpes.

9) He introduced the unique concept of the pub test to Australian politics.

10) He makes rooly, rooly interesting home moofies.

11) His listening tour of Australia was more entertaining than every episode of Flight Of The Conchords run back-to-back.

12) He is a man of the people.

13) You watch.

14) He has a plan.

15) He doesn’t have to, so he doesn’t need to.

16) He’s just an ordinary man.

17) He is in possession of specialised equipment.

18) He has implemented the Cate Blanchett test.

19) He tackles the big issues.

20) He has perfected the Solar Panel Defence and the Hockey Distraction.

21) He gets straight to the point.

22) He makes The 7.30 Report look like slaughter time at the Colosseum.

23) He develops policy on whiteboards.

24) He has Vietnam war flashbacks.

25) He is a trucker.