Anywhere there’s a guy called Brendan and today he lost his job, you may have heard about him. Now Brendan needs to work out what to do next. He’s got some options: he could sit on these things called ‘backbenches’ for the next couple of years but that ain’t so cool (Brendan is a doctor, after all). Brendan could write his memoirs, like his friend Pete, however the market for books of 60 pages or less isn’t that hot. Or, Brendan could leave and, like, do something uber-cool…

Movie star? He’s got the karizma and his ear is already pierced.

Bag-boy? He loves pensioners – and he knows the diff between meat and cleaning products.

Dog handler? He’s got some experience, having shared a party room with Bronwyn Bishop.

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Guitar teacher? If he learns a fourth chord he can play Nickelback’s entire back catalogue.

AFL goal umpire? He’s already used to having 90+ percent of ‘fans’ despise him.

Queensland bloger (sic)? No… please, no.

Help poor Brendan out with some much needed career advice – where should he point his stellar talents now?