The rest of the lefty blogosphere is going to hate me for doing this, but I can’t keep it in any longer. Day in, day out we are suppressing the truth about the state of the world from those noble heroes on the right-wing blogosphere and it is driving me insane.

I am going to reveal some of our most shocking truths. Sit tight.

• Kevin “474″ Rudd travels so often by Co2 emiting aircraft in order to speed up global warming, which will in turn lead to the end of capitalism.
• Jeremy Sear shot JFK, knowing that it would kick start an unstoppable chain of events that would lead to an America-hating Muslim in the White House. That hasn’t happened yet…OR HAS IT?
• Homophobia, Sexism, Racism and Xenophobia were invented by Leftists in the 80’s in order to suppress The Truth from the world.
• The current financial crisis is the fault of Michelle Obama’s penchant for shoes.
• Dave Letterman’s mockery of George W. Bush is a conspiracy to keep The Truth from the people – that G.W.B is actually the greatest intellectual hero of our, or any, generation.
• Google is blocking anti-Obama blogs in a Muslim conspiracy. It’s nothing to do with the fact that they all cut-and-paste from each other, therefore causing them to get automatically tagged as spam blogs. No siree Bob.
• Ray Martin is a steam-powered robot built by the Russians during the Cold War. That’s why there are no pictures of him as a child.
• Bob The Builder is a Leftist plot to encourage children to form unions.
• Obama’s original slogan wasn’t “Change”. It was “Islam”.
• John Ray’s christmas letters are a Leftist campaign to discredit him.

Sorry guys, but it had to be said.

Update: More Truths are flooding into the comments section.

Skeptic - “[T]here is another, more disturbing, aim of the left. And that is, to promote AGW as the new secular religion in order to crush all other religions because we on the left hate religion. Except for Islam, which we will then use to launch a jihad on the secular global warming religious adherents.”

Broken Left Leg – “Bob the Builder and Barack bin Obama have the same catchphrase. “Yes we can”.
Coincidence? I think not.”

Toaf – “Also, Baz Lurmann is a commie who wants to destroy Australia THROUGH THE MEDIUM OF FILLUM!!!1!”

Wah, a true comprade, is desperately trying to supress one of the Truths –  ”You’re full of shit Surname – Michelle Obama’s penchant for shoes stimulates the economy, particularly the footwear industry and associated businesses like leather tanning and the companies that make buckles and laces.”

Wah, the people can see through you. We know you’re involved. When the revolution comes you will not be spared.