“God does not believe in atheists. Therefore atheists do not exist”

Archaeological evidence has led some researchers to claim that there has been 40 to 45 thousand years of continuous occupation of the Australian mainland by indigenous people. However, Young Earth Creationists contend that the universe is only 6,000 years old, so they consider this conclusion to be mistaken.

Then there are four Bolta articles in the “external links” section.

Dead me fuck.

They love Our Kevvie. Much is made of his having grown up in a “home steeped in conservative politics” and of his devout Christianity.

Howard is made out as a high taxing, big government gun grabber!

Maybe they thought “The Liberals” were the same as “teh liberals”

http://www.conservapedia.com/Doctor_Who#Political_and_Social_Themes

The lead writer of Dr. Who, Russell T Davies is known for aggressively promoting the gay agenda in his prior show Queer as Folk and continuing to promote it in Doctor Who (despite the fact that the show is supposed to be geared towards a young audience)…

The single linked?

This one.

I am outraged.

That’s not obscure at all.

Atheism is “the denial of the existence of God.[”

The denial!

LOL.

TL;DR – Atheists want to kill you and your family.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism

Unfortunately, the film is marred by scenes of “gay humor”, which seems like a demonic bargain Sandler may have struck with Hollywood in return for being allowed to put in the heartwarming family stuff.

Um……I’m not sure that’s how Hollywood works.

Sandler: I want to make a heartwarming film for rational conservatives.

Hollywood Exec: Sure. Here’s $30,000,000. You can have it on one condition – the film has to contain scenes of “Gay Humour”.

Sandler: Gee – really? I don’t know if that would really suit my previous work.

Hollywood Exec: Your previous work was very mature and socially minded.

Sandler: That’s right. I’m just not sure gay humour suits me at all.

Hollywood Exec: Take it or leave it.

Sandler: Well…..since you’ve twisted my arm….

I always refer to America in the first person. When I say “I”, I mean “America”.

Irony is lost on most people, because they’ve only heard the Alanis Morissette song that equates irony with “rain on [your] wedding day” and “a black fly in [your] Chardonnay”.

NASCAR is the pinnacle of sporting excellance.

Overcoming homosexuality is definitely possible…

It’s just like giving up illegal drugs!

“Bigotry itself, an almost uniquely liberal trait.”

Probably in a recycling plant in Bogota.

dinosaurs lived in harmony with other animals, (probably including in the Garden of Eden) eating only plants[6]; that pairs of each dinosaur kind were taken onto Noah’s Ark during the Great Flood and were preserved from drowning

A leftist generally supports collectivism, more government control of the economy, less government control of social policy, lower military spending, censorship of religion in government, a more unisex society, and state-funded abortion.

And apparently Mussolini and Hitler were leftists.

Also:

Modern leftists in the United States have come under increasing criticism as advocates of thought control.

Oh yeah, we just love group-thinking around here, don’t we?

Thanks a lot, Ant!

Atheist Richard Dawkins lost a public debate to a rabbi and then claimed the debate never took place.

Atheism disproved!!!1!

There are no liberal satires in conservapedia because the editors correct them. Conservapedia is the most reliable and accurate resource for unbiased perspective on all topics covered.

Comedy gold. Nice find, Bron!

Kangaroos:

“like all modern animals . . . kangaroos are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah’s Ark prior to the Great Flood.”

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/living/articles/2007/06/04/just_the_facts____and_theyre_always_right/

Not unless you’ve got the income and drug problem to go with it…

On Indigenous Australians:

Over time, many of these nations and tribes lost their identity or were decimated by disease, poor nutrition, massacres by white settlers and the forced removal of children from their parents into white families or mission stations.

The Uncyclopedia entry is much more accurate:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Barack_Obama

Darryl, that’s a pisser.

“Over time, many of these nations and tribes lost their identity or were decimated by disease, poor nutrition, massacres by white settlers and the forced removal of children from their parents into white families or mission stations.”

Even Conservapedia has a Lefty Reality bias. It’s everywhere. Omnipresent.

Everyone knows that white settlers massacring and hunting Aboriginals, for land exploitation and fun (no tigers), is Greeno Lefty Commo Obama-O Socialist Black Arm Band nonsense. And thanks to Bolthead, I know that forced removal of Aboriginal children did not actually happen, instead the parents happily handed over their kids saying “Please teach my children how to clean up after white people.”

I’m in with the Hollywood Values as well. Fuck, it’s ALL GOLD over there!

It’s like The Onion’s take on a conservative wikipedia, but it’s better, because it’s real.

I now want to become a movie star and overdose on AIDS-ridden drugs just to join all those who achieved Dead Legend Status under Hollywood Values. You read those names and you think, shit most of them lived five lifetimes in one before they succumbed to Death By Hollywood Values.

The entry on Bruce Lee is pure, pure gold :

Bruce Lee (Li Xiaolong), actor, 33, collapsed and died; trace amounts of cannabis found in bloodstream at postmortem

Death By Lefty Hollywood Values Mari-Ju-Wana!

I think Conservapedia should now be the only official reference material for Grods. And please, make a Grods t-shirt available for sale? Little Grods logo above the LEFT breast, big letters reading ‘Hollywood Values Rock’.

For example, what do conservatives need to know about the people of Africa?

The rain check sounds good, I’ll keep it in mind.

Darryl, you may be on to something. The fact that I’m not blindly rejecting the stimulus package, and instead supporting it with the hope that there could be a couple little changes, lends credibility to your theory. I haven’t joined the greens yet, but anything’s possible!

I’ll admit that the security staff did look slightly taken aback that a member of the public was actually taking notes.

Your comment has given me the best laugh that I’ve had all day Darryl. Thanks.

Teh Left Commie Greeno Socialist Ruddian Press Gallery Alert!

Samuel, even if you’re not, you probably are and don’t know it yet.

I’ll definitely take that rain check, though.

even if I’d been stupid enough to hitch my wagon to the ideology of the Right all those years ago, I would still be mortally embarrassed by the abortion (pun intended) that is Conservapedia. I wonder how many “conservatives” are

Yep, it’s embarrassing. Just goes to show that it only takes one idiot to give a whole group a bad name.

I will point out that I don’t endorse the “even if I’d been stupid enough to hitch my wagon to the ideology of the Right” comment, but after nearly launching in to an argument along those lines at five minutes to one this morning, and having now spent the better part of my night flicking through my notes from my visit to the senate today and turning them in to a blog post, I’m really too tired to have a debate that is unlikely to see either side budge an inch.

If you really want to have that debate, I’ll be happy to oblige when I am next in Melbourne. (Yes, that is my long-winded way of saying “rain check?”)

And what an inspiring site!

As of today I am no longer of the left.
From now on, I have Hollywood Values.

The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons observed that Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches and campaign symbols. One Obama speech declared, “a light will shine down from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will say to yourself, ‘I have to vote for Barack.’

Thanks, Conservapedia. I needed a laugh.

President Obama is the first person having ties to a known former terrorist to gain control over America’s nuclear weapons.

Bush had Cheney. Reagan had North. Bush snr defended blowing up civilian aircraft. His comment? “I’ll never apologize for the United States of America. Ever, I don’t care what the facts are.”

Schlafly got royally pwned by Richard Lenski last year. It was a work of breathtaking beauty.

Neither can these guys. Not “truth”, per se, but just generally being unable to broaden their minds a little.