1) Wankervision
Britain’s Channel 4 television will broadcast London’s first Masturbate-A-Thon later this year.

Cameras from independent production company Zig Zag, which made Essex Boys for ITV1, will follow the organisers and participants for a 60-minute film, which has the working title of Wank-a-thon. It is expected to air on Channel 4 towards the end of the year.

The event will encourage Londoners – both male and female – to sign up sponsors and head to Clerkenwell in order to masturbate in front of hundreds of others.

Zig Zag said in its blurb for the show: “This year it’s time to bring the event across the pond to see if the great British public can embrace mass public masturbation. It’s time to find out if the only things allowed to be stiff in Britain are upper lips.”

Prizes will be on offer for those who clock up the most orgasms and those who can masturbate the longest – the current record, according to the organisers, is a chafing eight-and-a-half hours.

After Big Brother wouldn’t Helen Coonan and Steve Fielding have fun with this one.

2) Australia’s first-class defence
Doesn’t this hilarious episode give you confidence in Australia’s ability to defend its airspace:

Australia’s fleet of 26 F-111 aircraft has been temporarily grounded following an emergency landing by one of the RAAF fighters in Queensland today.

Air Marshal Shepherd said the pilot of the fighter was one of the most junior with the F-111s, having graduated from the basic conversion course a fortnight ago.

“On takeoff … what happened was when he retracted the undercarriage .. the left main wheel fell off,” he said.

“The rapid assessment we’ve done shows that there’s nothing of an airworthiness nature that would cause us to doubt the longevity of the F-111 capability.”

The left wheel fell off. Off.

3) Two Chinese Boys
The whole interweb probably knows about this site already (The Editor’s always six months behind) but Ed reckons the Da Da Da song is the funniest thing he’s seen in ages.

4) Dirty deals?
Why is Prodos running the website of controversial sort of Liberal Party member and former advisor to Pauline Hanson, John Pasquarelli? Pasquarelli ran as a dummy independent candidate for Bendigo at the 2001 federal election to direct preferences towards the Liberals. The Australian Electoral Commission is investigating him.