Film rating: 2.5/5 (J, The); 2/5 (The Editor)
Walkouts: 2/5 (J, The); 2/5 (The Editor)
Pretentious clapping at credits: 1/5 (J, The); 3/5 (The Editor)
BPM sighting: I saw a man who met the description provided by Ed but without the critical pump (J, The); No (The Editor)

J, The says: This film was weird. I honest to god wish that I got Japanese cinema, art, books - culture. The fact is, I really like it. I read every Murakami novel I can find; Yayoi Kusama is one of my favourite artists; and I risked hail damage to my beloved new bicycle to go and see Takeshi Kitano’s latest offering to yakuza films today at the Festival. I came out of the Forum bemused and amused in fairly equal measure. Takeshi took a step inside his own mind and gosh, look at all the things he found there: layered and blurred lines of dream and reality; fears of failure and self-confidence defeaters in the shape of a scary skinny Japanese woman who kept wanting change for 10,000 yen notes and an array of other annoying characters; and downright kookiness personified as a boy who dances as a geisha and two big, fat comedians dressed in tutus who just keep popping up wherever Beat Takeshi goes. There are lots of the shoot ‘em up scenes we have come to know and love from Takeshi’s films, except the difference is that he keeps shooting the same people in this film, over and over and over again, and they just keep on coming back. And did I mention the cross-dressing singer and the giant caterpillar?

I didn’t get this film, but when I stopped thinking about it and sort of looked at it out of the corner of my eye, I kind of did. If I read Jung’s dream books and read up on Japanese psychology I might get there yet. If you are going to see it, my advice is not to think too much - the narrative structure is not what you are used to.

The Editor says: J, The is basically spot on. This was one freaky film that didn’t at all follow traditional narrative structures, but was instead like a bunch of seemingly unrelated scenes with tenuous links criss-crossing all over the place. It was funny in parts and boring in others. 90% of the walkouts occured during that bloody tapdance scene. I’d be keen to see this dude’s other films if only to help explain this one.