The Americans have had Watergate, the Iran-Contra affair, Clinton-Lewinksy, Mark Foley, Larry Craig and Eliot Spitzer. In Britain there’s been the Profumo business, Torys-in-stockings, Edwina Currie, cash-for-peerages and the recent expenses furore. In Italy, Silvio Berlusconi generates all manner of scandals, from bribery to tax evasion, from media manipulation to mistresses. And what do we get in Australia? 

“Utegate”

A summary of this earth-shattering scandal: an ill-conceived prop-up scheme for car financiers, a shonky Ipswich trader, a nerdy Treasury official, an e-mail that may or may not have existed… and a ute. How quintessentially Australian. And how utterly bloody boring. It sounds like the type of scandal you’d expect to envelop the Bourke Shire Council, not the Parliament of Australia.

The people of Australia demand better quality political scandals. Not Iguanagate, travel rorts, Keating’s pig farm or Howard’s big brother Stan. I don’t want to hear any more about ”Utegate” unless someone discovers that it involves Kevin Rudd rogering Kate Ellis in the back of a Holden Sandman after a pint of JD and six lines of coke. Now go away and try harder.