I have been having the computer-camera payback karma month from hell. All those times I swore at my computer or used bootleg software - I take it back! I take it all back!!

I bought a beautiful new Sony HVR Z1P high definition camera about a month ago, and have trying EVER SINCE to get it to communicate in DV-PAL to my computer. I have googled, forum-ed, spent countless time on the phone to Apple, and made two outrageously unhelpful phone calls to the Sony support centre (their advice: call Apple), and happen to be right where I began - blaming the camera but with little or no support from Sony to help me through this difficult time.

Trying to get a camera and computer to work together when they both come from two different proprietary systems is like trying to broker peace in the Balkans. Each side blames the other despite having little or no knowledge about each other. It’s depressing. I could get no sense out of either side. My only hope was to gradually isolate the element that was clearly at fault.

First stop: call Sony support centre. Don’t ever do this. It is utterly pointless and just gets you mad. I did it twice and all I ended up getting for my trouble was their mailing address so I could send them a letter of complaint about how useless their support line is. The call suport people had never even heard of the freakin’ camera I had just bought from them.

Second stop: Test the software. I took the camera to the Apple store and tested it with their versions of Final Cut Pro, to see if it was just my software at fault. No cigar. This pointed to the hardware.

Third stop: Test the firewire cable. At this point I also get to blame Dick Smith for something - my faulty brand new firewire cable. I bought a second brand new firewire cable from Mr Smith’s store, made my way back to the Apple store and it worked! So I raced home and plugged the camera in, only to find that it worked for HDV only. So I raced back to the Apple store and tested it with their software (revisiting First stop: test the software). It worked with one program but not the other.

Fourth stop: Re-boot Final Cut Studio at home. So I decided I needed to re-boot my software with a new version of the program, and bought and installed the full Final Cut Studio 5.1 suite. It did not work at all. i coudln’t even get the program to load after three hours of installation.

Fifth stop: rant and rave.

Sixth stop: Call Apple Support line. The Apple support people were very helpful and after twenty minutes, we had managed to get the software to work. So I hung up, all happy and brimming over with possibility. I connected my camera. It crashed the software as soon as I breathed the words “log and capture DV-PAL” in its general vicinity.

Seventh stop: See :”Fifth stop: rant and rave.”

Eighth stop: Call Apple Support line again. After another 20 minutes of trying everything, we isolated the camera as the problem - something to do with the firewire port or the DV signal. Which is what I thought all along - I was right back where I started out. I hate that kind of vindication.

Ninth stop: Call Ed, whinge my heart out, swear vociferously at the computer, the camera and every element of the useless, >$10,000 system on my desk, take a hot bath, eat some chocolate cookies, and watch 5 episodes of Buffy.

Tenth stop: Call Sony service centre. There is absolutely no point in calling Sony product support (see First stop above). They are the reason I am still in this situation, four weeks on. There are only three authorised repairers in Melbourne for the HVRZ1P. I called the one nearest where I live. The man there I spoke to, whilst quite friendly and helpful, had never even read the Sony manual before. They have no loan camera arrangements so the urgent digitising I needed to do last weekend already will have to keep waiting. He doesn’t know if he can figure it out. If he can’t, he will call Sony in Sydney - I quote, “I don’t know how much help I will get from them. There is someone’s 60th birthday on up there today and they are all going out to celebrate.”

Eleventh stop: Write a Grods post and hope that this wee vent will serve as a warning to you all. The moral of the story: Buy Panasonic.