grodscorp@grods.comSexual harassment
 | Posted by J, The on Wednesday 11 October 2006, 11:49 pm Categories: Politics, Society Tags: EqualOpportunityCommission, job, SexualHarassment, workplace |
For anyone looking for a light blog-read, this is not the post for you.
I just had my first experience of sexual harassment. There. I said it. “Sexual harassment.” It makes me feel dirty and ashamed to just write it like that, even though I am not the one who should feel dirty and ashamed.
And therein is the heart of the matter. I have left my job so as not to work with my boss after his offensive and inappropriate behaviour towards myself, because in an office of 3 there is nowhere to hide and when you have been working somewhere for almost a year but still on a temp contract there are very few protections for you but the one you provide yourself - the ability to leave at a day’s notice. I have been in touch with the HR area of the larger body which my workplace was an offshoot of, and I have been in touch with the temp agency I was hired through, and I have been in touch with the Equal Opportunity Commission. The bottom line is - how much pain and sorrow do you want to put up with in order to feel like you have received some validation of your experience? Because the ultimate result might be an apology, or maybe some compensation, or a promise to implement sexual harassment training. None of these equals a feeling of safety in my workplace. None of these was going to help me to stay in my job.
My boss has already apologised to me, but that doesn’t mean I can ever trust him again enough to work with him. It doesn’t mean I am not jumpy when I see men of a certain age and stature. It doesn’t stop me, a fairly strong and independent woman, crying uncontrollably all day and feeling utterly disempowered and worse, to blame.
I don’t know what the answer is. I think it is positive that there are sexual harassment policies and I am assuming that the worst of the above reactions will pass with time. But the repercussions for me and my boss are so horribly unequal in the current situation - me jobless and income-less in order to remove myself from a situation that was giving me livid red hives all weekend, whilst my boss has only his conscience to answer to - that the bare fact of it is injustice, straight up, no ice.
To do something, anything, about it, I decided to at least contact his boss (my boss is a contractor to someone else, which just complicates things a little more and waters down the available protections) and tell him what had happened. I’ll let you know if I get any kind of response which makes me feel any better. That’s the focus right now - fighting the good fight, and making myself feel a little better.
GrodsThink Ep.29 (26/8/08)
Thursday 12 October 2006, 9:29 am #Alecto
This is a horrible thing to happen and it makes me furious that it is still a problem in our workplaces, in 2006 fer chrissakes!
Have you talked to your union?
Thursday 12 October 2006, 9:49 am #pip
Oh, you poor but extremely strong and inspiring woman you!
Getting out is the best thing you could have done for yourself, and may actually shock him into having a good long look at himself. You have alerted those who pay his wages and send him his staff to his appalling behaviour. You’ve told your agency, who should, if they resemble decent sorts of human beings, find you another job ASAP.
I know you feel wretched now, but in a year’s time you will at least have the consolation that you removed yourself from this situation, you have been strong and you have been smart. I’m sure that you won’t be able to feel really good until you have another job, but chin up sister!
I was once asked if I’d had an abortion and naively responded in the affirmative and sacked on the spot (I was 22). It took me some time to recover, both financially and emotionally, but I felt much better when the Commonwealth Employment Agency blackbanned him and the dole office said ‘you don’t have to put up with that.’ Also, the firm collapsed soon afterwards, because they couldn’t hold on to staff. The point of my story is to say, time will tell, and you too will be able to look forward to delightful feelings of schadenfreude.
And my next boss was lovely and I worked there for over 10 years, on and off.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 9:52 am #Greeny
This is totally unacceptable. Please keep us updated. Is this the underbelly of 10 years of conservative gov in Oz? Acceptance of sexual harrassment and racism. Grrrrr….
Thursday 12 October 2006, 10:55 am #Zoe
In all likelihood, you’re not the first one - so telling your union is a good idea. Tell everyone else you know, too.
I am sorry that this happened to you. I’m also sorry we live in a world where the best solution to someone else’s improper behaviour is for the person who was treated improperly to leave their job.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 10:58 am #ubermax
Can you please define the sexual harrassment ?
ie what did he do ?
Thursday 12 October 2006, 11:02 am #billybob
Oh my god J, That’s really horrible. Can’t believe this sort of stuff still happens… Can’t stand it.
If proper channels and protocol doesn’t get you far, let me know and I’ll be happy to follow him home and put a burning poo bag by his front door everyday.
If you want, I’ll let you win one of our little verbal tussles next time, (just one mind!), to make you feel a little better.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 11:52 am #J, The
Thanks everyone. Your comments mean a lot to me. Pip, as you would know, it helps to hear that you are not the one behaving badly, it’s them. That’s a terrible thing to have happened to you. I am glad it worked out eventually and you took action. That’s good to know.
Alecto, I have not contacted my union because I am not a member of a union. You can guarantee that is going to change.
Ubermax, I would really rather not go into the details online like this. Suffice it to say that there was a very unwelcome and actual physical approach which I made clear both before and after would be unacceptable to me, and then a second verbal volley of offensive behaviour which I also responded to immediately by saying how offensive it was to me. He has apologised and recognised the behaviour was offensive. My concern now is that, by leaving the job and trying to avoid the pain of the complaints process, I am effectively protecting him. But I am in touch with his supervisor now so I hope that something comes of it which does not cause me too much more angst because I really want to move on and not necessarily have to be the brave fight person. But I will be if I have to!
Billybob - you wish. But thanks for the poo bag offer, I knoe it comes from the heart.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 12:17 pm #J, The
PS pip - saying “yes” to the abortion question was not naive. It was honest. You shouldn’t have to protect yourself from someone’s prejudice, just as I should not in the future have to refuse to ever be alone with a male boss “in case” he behaves badly.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 3:06 pm #billybob
A turd for a turd.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 3:44 pm #Alecto
Some unions will represent you on issues that occured before you join, so long as you pay back dues (the amount varies from union to union). Depending on who covers you, you might find that’s the case. the ACTU website is the best place to start finding who represents you.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 6:02 pm #jLo
J, The, I’m so sorry this has happened to you. You are incredibly brave and strong. Thank you for writing this post - this situation sucks so hard and you’re right: it’s unfair and unjust, straight up, no ice. Although it makes me crazy mad to think that you have to go through all of it, you’re doing the right thing with the steps you are taking.
Hang in there, my friend - you’re my hero.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 6:06 pm #The Editor
She’s a trooper, our J,The. I wouldn’t want to piss her off.
Thursday 12 October 2006, 6:28 pm #J, The
Alecto, thanks for the union advice and jLo and Ed, thanks :-). The good news is that the government department which contracts my boss is taking the matter seriously. I am still not sure about the adequacy of the remedies - ultimately I am still out of a job and he will probably get a reprimand. But they are going to give me access to advice and counselling, which is good, and I will then make up my mind about whether further action is worth the stress.
Thursday 29 March 2007, 8:40 pm #Plank
Honestly, I think you were oversensitive. You need a big can of toughen the F up.
Thursday 29 March 2007, 9:00 pm #The Editor
At least pick one pseudonym and stick to it, Plank/ Demble. You need a big can of get the fuck away.