The Age hack Chris Johnston obviously fancies himself as a bit of a writer based on the turgid prose that kicks off today’s article about the Australian Open tennis:

IT IS that time of year again. The tennis circus is here. It is all about Kooyong and then the Australian Open. More than half a million spectators will pack these compact, intimate arenas from today. The sun will beat down. The little bouncy balls will rocket around. And the players — the greatest players — will leap across the hard green of the court with their straining racquets to reach them. As the roar goes up. Then the hush. The tennis hush.

Look at those adjectives: compact, intimate, bouncy, hard green.

Look at those verbs: beat, rocket, leap, straining, roar, hush.

The hush. The tennis hush.

Spew!