J-lo’s parting gift before she fled the country were two books on how to be a super heroine and and ‘How to be President‘ (of the United States). I think she rightly thought we’d have trouble coping in her absence.

The ‘How to be a POTUS’ book is fascinating. It contains really useful information like each POTUS gets to design their own special rug for the Oval Office ‘with the aid of knowledgeable White House staff’ - Dubya aptly went with a ‘lone star’ design. It also answers pressing questions like can have a pet? (You can!)

I personally found the ‘how do I get a snack’ section the most useful. Apparently ‘Coca-cola’ and ‘Pepsi-cola’ companies stock the White House fridges for free. You can also get free M&Ms which come in boxes with the Presidential Seal, as well as potato chips and pretzels (I’m guessing Dubya is keeping well clear of these). However, proving that even the POTUS can’t survive on corporate largesse alone, if you take snacks back to your private quarters you have to pay for them.

How come I don’t remember this stuff from The West Wing?