Or is it?

(From today’s Hun.)

UPDATE: And the ABC’s clearly pretty happy with this headline: “Alleged dildo-wielding dog-killer in court“. What a story!

No further commentary necessary for this Wikipedia entry (here, anyway):

Tap pants are a form of lingerie worn exclusively by women. They are also known by the names of French knickers, side-cut shorts, and dance shorts.

And… go!

(Via Keri.)

I’m not cool enough to partake too heavily in the Grods community’s fascination with certain apparently naughty words (”fleshlights”, “pegging”, etc), but I still feel duty bound to pass on my discovery this morning that Sega is releasing a game for the Nintendo Wii titled “Let’s Tap”.

I have a horrible feeling this game won’t actually represent what GrodsReaders would be looking for in such a product – don’t click on the link if you don’t want to be disappointed – but imagine if it did. Imagine if Sega had taken a look at The Editor’s Rules Of Tapology and turned it into a Wii game…

Oh, what could have been.

You know what gives me the screaming shits? The so-called “Urban Dictionary” website, and it twice cancelling without warning my entirely reasonable definition of Nelson’s Law, as prompted by Mr Rogenous at the last GrodsThink podcast.

Fortunately, urbandictionary.com doesn’t have a monopoly on the coining of new phrases. GrodsCorp is just as influential (check the visitor numbers, it’s true!), and I therefore submit the following for your future referencing pleasure:

NELSON’S LAW

Named in honour of Australian conservative politician, Brendan Nelson -

“As a debate about the economy continues, the probability of the increasing price of petrol at the bowser being mentioned by a non-government politician approaches one.”

It is considered a disingenuous debating technique, analogous to Godwin’s Law, unless the person raising the price of petrol is actually proposing a genuine alternative.

COROLLARY: Athanasi’s Observation – the gap between a political discussion commencing and Nelson’s Law being demonstrated decreases over time.

EXAMPLE: Ending every media release with a disingenuous reference to the cost of “getting petrol into the car” is an example of Nelson’s Law.

I’m working on a definition of urbandictionary.com too, but am yet to come up with one that’s safe for a family website such as this.

Since Ed has succumbed to the temptation we all try so hard to resist – not posting lolcats (oh, glorious lolcats!) – and clearly therefore GrodsCorp is now a site of more flexible editorial standards than we might otherwise have assumed, I think he’ll appreciate this graph posted today at GraphJam:

Amusing RSS feed plus grammatical grumpiness! If only there were cute kittehs.

It won’t surprise anyone to learn that John Surname has done some foolish things in his life.

This was undoubtedly one of them:

John Surname (Saturday 17 May 2008, 10:59 am)
I have just checked some odds, and the chances of Jesus turning out to be Barry Manilow are higher than GroupThink FC winning a game…

Jeremy (Sunday 18 May 2008, 5:03 pm)
…How about we say five to one on us winning a game this year (not including forfeits)? More than generous, I’d have thought, given your Jesus/Manilow reference.

John Surname (Sunday 18 May 2008, 5:31 pm)
No I don’t think you’ll win a game. I put the odds at 100-1. I will make a $1 bet with you.

Jeremy (Sunday 18 May 2008, 5:38 pm)
You’re on. If we don’t win a game this year, I’ll hand over a dollar. If we do win a game this year, you’ll somehow front up $100*. Deal?

*Which, fellow members of GroupThink F.C., will of course go to the victory celebrations.

John Surname (Sunday 18 May 2008, 5:45 pm)
I could really use that dollar.

John will be horrified to learn that GroupThink F.C. not only won tonight, but won ten to four. We even managed that without The Editor helping us, which makes the achievement even more incredible.

Short of actually paying up, how should John make it up to the team he so cynically doubted? Your ideas welcome below.

Because tonight we finally put to rest all this “GroupThink F.C. is an embarrassment to GrodsCorp” nonsense. No longer are we the joke team of the blogosphere. So long as The People’s Football Club plays in the lowest division available and has a ring-in replacing either Scott or me, we can conceivably win.

Oh yeah, it feels good.

A quick message to the courageous members of GroupThink F.C., playing tomorrow night short two of its bedrock players, including the captain. A quick message to the remaining members of the team, and the two fill-ins they’ve organised, who are hopefully of a lower standard than the players they’re replacing. (Wouldn’t filling-in with better players be cheating somehow? Certainly against the spirit of the competition.)

That message: take it easy, guys. There’s no need to risk painful injuries. If you play too hard you could twist an ankle. You could be involved in some kind of horrible collision. If you’re standing with your back to the goal and an opponent belts the ball at you, for god sake duck out of the way. Is one goal saved really worth the potential of testicular suffering? No, it isn’t. Not this week. Maybe next week, when your captain returns, but not now.

Now is a time for practising new moves, new strategies – seeing what works, what doesn’t. If you find something that looks promising, that seems to be working, file that information away for future reference – and go and try something different. Let’s concentrate this week on exploring strategies that have never worked in the past and may never work in the future. Let’s make absolutely certain that they’re a bad idea before we abandon them completely.

Also, Ant will probably be giving you useful directions from the goals, because he can see what’s going on. Whilst listening to him is usually a good idea, this week let’s just see what happens if you don’t. This way you’ll be able to have confidence in the future that following Ant’s suggestions is a good idea – and you’ll know that because you tried the alternative, and lost abysmally. See? Then we’ll know.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don’t let our first victory be the first game I’m forced to miss. Okay? Guys?

Welcome to Jeremy Sear who will post items at GrodsCorp that he considers too lowbrow for An Onymous Lefty — Ed
___________________

The Editor has already posted regarding the teacher ridiculously sacked for appearing in the sealed section of a Cleo magazine (posed nude but tastefully). Fortunately some sane parents have responded to the “complaints” by anonymous dimwits (what’s the harm, seriously?) by petitioning to have her reinstated.

I simply want to implore other teachers I know not to get ideas. Hopefully the recent bonus and pay rise will make Cleo’s $200 less enticing, but you never know with these people. They’ve got too much free time (I knew the ALP should have stuck to the demand to get rid of those pupil-free days) and of course public debauchery is the inevitable result. I guess that’s why the minister caved, before the teachers’ union had a chance to copy the half-naked cabbies.

They’re not all Ms Tziolas, you know.