HA HA HA HA ahahahahahahahahaaaaa. Hee hee hee hee. Whew, I'm out of breath with the laughing.

Senator Ross Lightfoot, what a supreme jackass. What a spectacular story. I woke up to the 7am ABC News this morning, and cracked right up. Haven't stopped laughing since.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke.

Check out this link for the fabulous photo that is today's Daily Tele front page. The article is full of highlights: the sewing of the money into the suit jacket lining; the selling of his Woodside shares before the story broke - it's beautiful to behold.

I don't think I've laughed this much since Richard Butler. Question Time should be fun today, I'll file another report to tell you how it went.

Janet Albrechtsen, of all people, has been appointed to the ABC Board.

I'm alternating between slack-jawed disbelief and hysterical laughter. Shameless, they are. Utterly shameless.

The Communications Minister claimed there was “no agenda” and this was all about Janet's wide legal and media skills. Sure, Helen. No agenda at all. This is an appointment made strictly on merit, and has nothing to do with politics at all.

Although, I guess Ms Albrechtsen certainly does have a unique perspective on the subject of plagiarism that she can bring to the Board.

So, I've recently moved to Melbourne. Not far from where I work is a 'Day Procedure Clinic', where women go to have certain procedures that have been a topic of note in the media lately.

And as you'd expect, there is invariably a bunch of elderly men, armed with grotesque posters, banners, crosses and the like. They stand in little bunches outside the gate of the clinic, right in the path of any woman brave enough to walk past them and go inside. Their heads are bowed, they mutter audible prayers and sing hymns throughout the day.

I am not usually the violent type, but man, was I angry today as I walked past to get my coffee. I couldn't resist blowing a cloud of cigarette smoke right at them as I passed by. Possibly not the most grown-up response, but it was satisfying at the time.

Then, in continuing the theme, I stumbled across the weblog of a woman who is going through an agonising decision to have to terminate a pregnancy of a terminally ill and suffering child. The child can't live, and to continue with the pregancy will threaten the mother's life. The comments on this site are unbelievable - I know it's a cliche to point out the hypocrisy of so-called Christians, but I still get so MAD. Drunk with righteousness, they lambast this woman's choice and judge her with impunity. I'm usually fairly reticent about commenting on stranger's websites, but I've been going crazy with it today. Hear me, InterWeb: Leave her (and anyone else who doesn't agree with your worldview) the hell ALONE!

Ahem. Rant now over, my apologies. In other news, I've decided to market a line of T-Shirts bearing this slogan:

Orders via the comments section, please.

In case you were ever wondering whether elected representatives really do care about the issues that matter in their home states/electorates, have a read of this: Senator wants cockfighting with gloves.

Apparently those crazy hippy animal protectionists have wiped out a $US100 million business in Oklahoma, what with their aversion to letting roosters slice each other with razors attached to their feet. How unreasonable!

Now the Oklahoma Senate will consider a proposal that includes teeny-tiny boxing gloves and vests with electronic sensors. Now, if this guy is creative enough to come up with an idea like this, surely he could try to think of another way for people to spend their time? Let the roosters be, dude. It's time.

Richie is here to stay!

Whew, that is fantastic news. I just can't imagine a summer of cricket without him.

As the summer gets underway, let's debate the relative merits of the Channel Nine commentary team. My two cents: Mark Taylor is terrible. Shane Warne is worse. Ian Healy has been doing a good job, he can stay. I also used to like Simon O'Donnell's efforts, but he has seemed to drop off the roster in recent years. Bring back SOD!

Any other views? I'd like to pre-empt the inevitable 'oh, I just turn the sound down on the TV and listen to the ABC radio commentary instead' comment. Of course you do. We all do. It's better, we all know that. But play this game for a moment. If Jim Maxwell and his band of Merry Men weren't available, and you HAD to listen to the TV, who would you choose?

A very serious incident occurred last night on the highway near Dubbo, as reported here in the Sydney Morning Herald.

It's a terrible tragedy. And yet - despite my best efforts - the giggles, they are escaping. I'm all kinds of wrong, I know. But come on. A fatal honey truck accident? A swarm of bees? You can't make this shit up.

Edited to add: And it gets even better. On the same page, this headline: Woman pelts police with pickled kittens. The world has officially gone mad.

Leader of the Opposition Mark Latham has offered his two cents in the debate about who will become the next Speaker of the House of Representatives. In assessing the leading candidates, it seems Mr Latham is somewhat intimidated by the Member for Mackellar, the Hon Bronwyn Bishop MP.

[From the AAP wire] “Bronwyn scares me - but maybe that's what the Liberal Party want,” he said today. “They want Scary Spice in the chair to keep the leader of the opposition in line. Well, I've gotta say she scares me more than anyone else. “So if you want someone who leaves the opposition petrified, then Bronwyn's the job, I think.

Hee hee, Scary Spice. Bet she looks great in lycra.

Well, at the risk of monopolising the Grodsblog this afternoon, I thought I might pop over with a small tidbit of information (given my status as official Parliament House GrodsMole, and all).

Senator Andrew Bartlett has announced this afternoon that he will not re-contest the Democrats' leadership. Some will be sad, others glad, still others will be shaking their head in bewilderment that it hasn't happened before now. But anyway.

For the record (without disclosing any conflicts of interest that may or may not exist), I'm in the 'sad' camp. I admire Senator Bartlett, and think that for the most part he did a good job in very difficult circumstances.

The next eight months or so will be very difficult for the Democrats - and things will be even worse when the new, Coalition-dominated Senate begins next June. It will be interesting to watch how Senator Lyn Allison's turn at the Dems leadership goes. I'm not holding my breath for any major turnaround in the party's fortunes.

Of course, I posted too soon. As soon as I had added that last entry, I came across a piece of very good news indeed: Obama becomes lone black US Senator

This is a great result - this guy rocks. His speech to the Democratic National Convention was spectacular. Hopefully he'll do great things.

Am still trying to keep my hope under control…..

Okay, so I admit it. I'm a nerd. I love elections. Watching the lead-up, mentally scoring the efforts of each campaign, allowing myself to feel a small glimmer of hope in the days before the polls open - that maybe, just maybe, this time it will all work out the way I want it to. A new era, a fresh start, the people having their say and emphatically choosing good over evil. And then there's the election day itself - waking up to a sunny morning, cheerfully greeting my fellow citizens as I stroll in to my local primary school. The sausage sizzle, the Year 7 raffle, election day has a great, neighbourhood street party feel. I love it.

And then, the polls close. Of course, you all know how that worked out this time. My glimmer of hope could not have been more misplaced. The 1996 election was two days after my 18th birthday - John Howard has been Prime Minister for just about every moment of my adult voting life. And there's no end in sight.

You'd think I would have learned, wouldn't you? Not to get my hopes up, not to imagine a different world and wonder what it will be like. And yet, I find I can't help myself. Coming into work this morning and reading reports of record voter turnout in the US, seeing footage of the lines of people waiting patiently to have their say, the Election Day feelings have returned. There's hope! Maybe, just maybe, the world will be a better place tomorrow.

Of course, now the count is coming in. My fingernails are already a wreck. I'm going to be disappointed, aren't I?