#1 Televisions set to the incorrect aspect ratio

When Billybob moved out to Australia he bought a half-decent A/V package with which to watch Neighbours and other hideous programs. Unfortunately, this was just before widescreen televisions became the default choice so he ended up with a (then) standard 4:3 television. One night Goobermetrics and I rocked over for a big night of pizza and Lord Of The Rings on DVD and were shocked when the movie started up with its 16:9 picture stretched vertically to fit the 4:3 screen.

“Just press the aspect ratio button!” we screamed.
“There isn’t one!” screamed Billybob back.
“There has to be!” we pleaded.

But after twenty minutes of fruitless searching on TV and DVD player remote controls, and the TV and DVD players themselves, we couldn’t find any way to switch the aspect ratio.

“Are you telling us you’ve been watching movies this way for two years?” asked Goober and I, bemused.
“Um, yeah,” replied Billybob. “I can’t see what’s wrong with the picture.”

*****

Last year I rocked down the pub early in the season to watch Melbourne Victory play away on Foxtel. I’d seen a nice big widescreen telly in the corner the last time I was down there so I was looking forward to watching the game in style. But after purchasing my Guinness and turning to the screen I was shocked to be confronted with a 4:3 picture stretched horizontally to fit the 16:9 frame.

“Is there something wrong with your aspect ratio setting?” I asked the publican.
“Um, dunno,” he replied. “I can’t see anything wrong with the picture.”

*****

McBec hired a VHS video out from the store one day and I arrived home halfway through her viewing. She had forgotten to switch our TV’s aspect ratio mode to avoid the 4:3 video image being stretched horizontally to a 16:9 shape. All the black-and-white faces in the movie were beyond even Bert Newton width.

“I think you forgot to switch the aspect ratio setting, dude,” I reminded her.
“No, I prefer it like this,” she replied. I hate all that black down the sides and I can’t see anything wrong with the picture.”

*****

Maybe it’s because I’m a telly tech-nerd or just because I’m one of the most anally retentive people I know, but televisions set to the incorrect aspect ratio shit me to tears.