I’m currently watching The Howard Years and I have a minor complaint. What is it with the annoying comic music that punctuates every scene? It’s distracting and annoying.

David Stratton: I liked it. It tells the inside story accurately and with minimum of Costello’s smirk. Could have used more car chases, but that’s a minor quibble. 4 stars.

Malcy: There isn’t enough about me. 1 star.

What does everyone else think about it?

You have to feel sorry for The Right. They shriek “BIAS!” at the ABC, yet when it comes a-searchin’, they can’t be found:

PRODUCERS of the ABC’s political talk show Q&A contacted Liberal politicians, business and Christian groups and Rotary clubs in their hunt for conservatives to deal with allegations its audience was stacked with lefties.

Maybe instead of complaining about ABC bias, certain commenters/trolls at certain websites with inflated figures could have, oh, I don’t know, put their hand up to be in the audience? Sadly, it’s a lot easier to flood websites with pointless comments no-one reads than to actually get off your arse and do something.

Mr Scott provided new figures showing that, over the program’s 2008 season, ALP supporters made up 32% of audience members who shared their voting intention, the Coalition 24% and the Greens 17%.

I think the important question here is – who made up the last 27%?

I think we all know the answer to that – the CEC. And probably David Hicks. And that Bill Henson dude.

As well as uni graduates who’ve gone on to become ABC sub-editors, one would hope.

Anyone see this the other day at Andrew Bolt’s blog, in the comment thread about the ABC journo who’d been caught selling ice in Singapore?

Absolute, unadulterated, solid gold.

I often catch the last ten or fifteen minutes of ABC TV’s The Cook And The Chef as I wait for the news to start and a couple of weeks ago a line in the credits caught my eye.

From: The Editor
To: The Cook And The Chef
Subject: Apparent commercial agreement

Hi,

I was wondering how the following credit (paraphrased) is in line with the ABC’s non-commercial guidelines?

“The ABC acknowledges free or discounted products from the following companies”

Regards,
The Editor

To the credit of the program producer and the ABC I received a prompt and thorough reply.

From: The Cook And The Chef
To: The Editor
Subject: Re: Apparent commercial agreement

Dear Ed,

This is a very good question and an area that the ABC is very careful
about. The issue is here that we can take advantage of these offers
provided that there is no obligation imposed on or accepted by the ABC
or its staff, to structure a broadcast in any way or to present any
matter with a particular editorial perspective. When there is an issue
like this, we have a set of Editorial guidelines to which we have to
adhere so that before accepting anything we have to demonstrate that the
ABC’s independence and integrity are fully protected. The Director of
TV then signs off after this process if the issue meets all the
benchmarks.
This only applies to general programs, News and Curret (sic) Affairs programs
will not accept these offers.

Regards,
The Cook and The Chef

Fair enough. It sounds like everything’s in line with ABC policy but something still niggles at me. I’m genuinely torn on this issue because on the one hand I’ve got no problem with a bit of contra on non-news and current affairs programs — especially given the broadcaster’s meagre budget; but on the other hand it flies in the face of the ABC’s non-commercial nature.

Discuss.

9.36pm: Gratuitous shot of woman wearing burqa in audience.

9.36pm: Crowd gives self round of applause.

9.38pm: Oil price is a “hydra-headed monster”. Wha?

9.39pm: Crowd claps nervous man for saying word “solar”.

9.41pm: Slightly mangled cliche — “nail it on the head”.

9.42pm: Angry woman is angry about job losses in solar industry but probably doesn’t give a feck about jobs in the timber industry.

Special comment from Bron (via Gmail chat): Boring as batshit. Rudd needs to put bunny ears on or something.

9.48: Audience member wisely notes that prices of groceries, petrol etc. are things that government (of either persuasion) don’t have much influence on. Rudd simply says phrase “silver bullet” for third time.

9.49: Rudd and Tony Jones have fun making fun of Liberal leadership vacuum and struggle.

Special comment from Wah (via Gmail chat): Pretty brave of Rudd to appear on the first one without knowing how the show works.

9.50pm: Camera angle of audience member asking question has an awesome set of norks in background of shot.

9.52pm: “Rinky dink”. Is Rudd freakin’ serious?

9.53pm: Rudd on oil prices — “not invading Iraq would’ve helped.” BAM!

9.56pm: zzzzzzzzzz.

9.57pm: If nothing else, Rudd seems extremely across the details of a large range of policy areas.

9.58pm: Viewer email — “I’m a disabled pensioner with [insert list of terrible circumstances here]. What can you do for me?” And that got me thinking about where the bonus for inner city latte-sipping DINKS was.

9.59pm: Audience applauds Rudd’s reminder that Howard was evil.

10.01pm: Audience member — “My wife and I have a combined income of about $100,000 and want to have a baby. What should we do?” How about thinking for yourself and stop looking for government payments to reward your personal decisions?

10.03pm: Rudd has got a few big laughs from the crowd now and is clearly gunning for more.

The Editor notes: Thank God I’ve got this glass of Bushmills 10yo to get me through this.

10.05pm: Viewer email — “What’s your personal view on gay marriage?” Audience explodes into applause. Obviously a bunch of rabid RWDBs indicating terrible ABC bias in audience selection.

10.06pm: Rudd tries to argue that his personal views are not relevant and clearly the audience doesn’t agree.

10.07pm: Ack! Teh gays are everywhere in the audience!

10.08pm: This audience clapping at the slightest provocation is pissing me off.

Special comment from Wah (via Gmail chat): Pass on my extreme anger at the clapping. Oh, and another mincer!

10.10pm: Tony Jones — “What would Dietrich Bonhoeffer think of Christmas Island?” Krudd — “He’s dead.” Pwned.

10.12pm: Asylum seeker in audience… *applause*… “I am an asylum…” *applause*… “…seeker…” *applause*… “…and I came to…” *applause*…

10.13pm: Question — “Should Australia have a bill of righ…” *applause*

10.15pm: Krudd the comedian — “When’s the ad break?” Stop the jokes now, Kev.

10.16pm: Question — “Do you plan to repeal any Howard government legislation in relation to the NT interven…” *applause*

Special comment from Wah (via Gmail chat): I can’t believe how long it takes to get the microphone to people. I’ve been to special council meetings better organised.

10.18pm: The audience is a sea of minorities. Where are the working families? Won’t somebody think of middle Australia?!?!11??!/?

10.19pm: Question — “Why was Mal Brough (pronounced incorrectly) left off indigenous housing war council?” Rudd rightly tells her to flock off.

10.23pm: SMS question — “If Australia must work smarter to survive why did government cut CSIRO budget?” Rudd idiotically tries to justify cut by obliquely referring to other budget boosts. Hints there may be raises in funding in future.

Special comment from Wah (via Gmail chat): That CSIRO question deserved applause.

10.25pm: Rudd learned Mandarin because he felt like it and he grew up on a farm and he slept in the back of a car and…

The Editor’s prediction of next question: What’s your favourite colour?

10.27pm: Question — “How will you prevent bad decisions…” Damn.

10.28pm: Rudd knows he’s done well. He’s looking comfortable in his chair with an arm casually over the back.

10.29pm: Rudd’s vision for the future: “How do we make Australia into the best educated, skilled, trained economy in the world?” Education revolution!

10.30pm: Rudd — *stabs thumb over shoulder* “Make sure that nobody’s left behind.” Spew.

10.31pm: “Video mash” finale with another (!) Hugh Atkin Rudd propaganda video.

10.32pm: All over. Blech, that was underwhelming.

If your client has just walked out of court after this…

A paramedic accused of digitally raping a drug-affected woman in the back of an ambulance was found not guilty today following a three-day trial.

…don’t let him stop for media interviews on the footpath outside a pub called “The Fiddler” because closeups of the pub’s sign will be used in television reports of the story on ABC News.

Overheard at GrodsHQ this morning while breakfast was taken to the strains of ABC Radio National’s breakfast program (that’s right — we’re wyld and krazy kidz in the GrodsHouse)…

McBec: This sports guy (Warwick Hadfield) shits me to tears with his smarmy little jokes and stupid puns and stuff.

The Editor: He’s not that bad. Although, I do love it when Fran or Steve interrupt him to respond to something he says and you can hear the anger and annoyance in his voice at being cut off and having to find his place in the script again.

McBec: He he. Yeah, that rocks.

1) Sunrise
They love Channel Seven’s Sunrise at my gym. It’s on all the televisions and I can’t escape the brain cell-killing, journalism-defiling, populist mundanery when I’m there before work in the mornings. Last week I saw two things that had me groaning out loud:

* A news item voiceover went something like this: “A new survey reveals that Victorians are becoming more tolerant of Asians. It shows that we are more accepting of them in our communities.” The overlay pictures? A smiling white man purchasing groceries from a smiling Asian woman in a corner store.

* The sports “reporter” told us about his experience at the V8 Supercar launch the previous night, spending about 30 seconds on the cars and drivers and two minutes on the V8 Supercar XXXX dancing girls (complete with overlay footage of XXXX dancing girls consisting almost entirely of gratuitous closeups of the girls’ wiggling arses.) After the “reporter” threw back to Cocky Kochy we saw Mel holding her head in her hands. Kochy — being the SNAG we all know him as — asked the “reporter” to talk some more about the XXXX girls. So he did. For another minute. With the footage playing on a loop.

2) Cops with cultural awareness
Whilst walking my bike home the other day I witnessed Victoria’s finest displaying their celebrated cultural sensitivity. A cop on a motorcycle pulled over next to an Asian man in a car at the lights. The cop asked the man to turn left and pull over. The light turned green and the man drove straight through the lights and pulled over. The cop pulled up behind the man, got off his motorbike angrily and stormed up the driver’s window.

COP: (screaming) Why did you drive straight through the lights! I told you to turn left!
MAN: (confused) Uuuh…
COP: (still screaming) When a police officer tells you to do something you have to do it!
MAN: (confused) Uuuh…
COP: (getting hoarse) So if I told you to turn left why did you go straight ahead?
MAN: (panicking) Uuuh…
COP: (normal speaking volume) Um, do you speak English?
MAN: Uuuh…

3) ABC branding
ABC TV has introduced new logos to differentiate between its current and future television channels. As with everything else on ABC this idea has been imported from the UK’s BBC.

Now, watermarking (the faint or not-so-faint white translucent station logo in the corner of the screen) is not a new phenomenon but the ABC have started slapping the new logos on their stream at about 20% transparency and about 150% the size they should be. Fucking distracting, to say the least.

4) Cloverfield
Went to see Cloverfield last night. It was okay — not crap, not brilliant, just okay. The motion sickness thing that I’ve heard all about is totally true because I’ve never seen so many film walkouts in a non-film festival film. I reckon easily a dozen people left, including the girl sitting next to me (not McBec, who was sitting the other side of me.) This poor woman felt so crap that she emptied her giant popcorn on the ground and held the empty container under her face for a while before getting up to leave.

I’ve got to admit that I felt a bit woozy at times and even had to close my eyes once or twice when the handycam wobble got a little bit too much for me. However, McBec, who is the ultimate carsick chick, didn’t feel a thing!

5) Orthographic fascism
When we got home from Cloverfield we watched the end of Ghostbusters on Channel Ten (great film) and the first twenty minutes of Bad Boys just to laugh at Will Smith’s ’90s haircut and Martin Lawrence’s ’90s clothes. In this time I noticed two errors:

* A sign at the entrance to a helipad read: “Authorization Personnel Only”
* A title on a computer screen read: “Guards desk”

I’m so anal I disgust even myself.

In light of recent media beat-ups it’s time for some lyrical deconstruction:

Steve Irwin lived in khaki, a cartoon kamikaze, he taunted crocs and tots so frequently. Brocky was some revhead who pumped the air with lead, so anti-green he drove into a tree.

Nothing too erroneous or hyperbolic there. Irwin did spend his life in khaki, yahooing from one end of the globe to the other, jumping on the back of crocodiles, waving dead poultry and slabs of horsemeat in front of their snouts. Sometimes he even replaced the horsemeat with his own son (the media should remember that - since they savaged him for it, when he was alive, of course).  As for Brocky, he might’ve owned a farm and found new-age karma late in life but much of his adulthood was spent depleting reserves of fossil fuel. When he wasn’t having a 15-year extra-marital affair with a family friend, behind his wife’s back.

John Lennon chose the hippie life, he chose some nutbag for a wife, his songs were never quite as good as Paul’s. Jeff Buckley fooled all lovers, just one album, mostly covers, with more wailing than Japan does off our shores.

Lennon was a hippie and Yoko Ono does seem slightly cracked. Not sure I agree about the songs; much of his and Paul’s post-Beatles stuff sounds horrible to me, but that’s a matter of personal taste. Strange though how the current media reports don’t report the ‘tasteless Chaser attack’ on Lennon, him being all socialist and all (it seems not even lefties turn into top blokes after death).

Princess Di was just a slut for sex, when they looked in the car, a wreck, her dress was wet with Arab’s semen stains. Stan Zemanek was a racist jock, a fatso xenophobic cock, his views were more malignant than his brain.

Tacky and vulgar. I loathe the term ’slut’, mind you Diana was indeed as promiscuous as she was photogenic, amiable and charity-focused. She wasn’t too bothered if her bedpartners were married either. As for Zemanek, is there a right-thinking person who disagrees with that assessment of him? He spent his life fertilising stereotype, bigotry and paranoia, in the guise of a raving, vindictive clown. Even his widow, if she looks past her grief and into her conscience, must see it.

Don Bradman was a total bastard, grumpy, greedy, a real tight-arse, who couldn’t even score one run the last time he played. Kerry Packer was a brothel chief, a tax fraud and a kidney thief, and procreating Jamie was the worst mistake he made.

Greatest cricketer ever sure but Bradman’s elitism, his bigotry towards Catholics and his capacity for holding and facilitating grudges are legendary. When he became an administrator he was even worse, by all accounts. And we’ve already heard (from his own network and media publications mainly) about what a bonza bloke Kerry was. He gave away thousands to needy individuals and millions to worthy institutions (i.e. casinos) – all from his stash of billions. I’ll stand up for Kerry on one point though – he didn’t steal that kidney, he bought it fair and square.

Vote here.

Of course, the problem isn’t that they did the stunt at all, it’s that they severely embarrassed the NSW police. New testimony has also come to light about how they were caught.

They were only caught after they reached the edge of what they thought was the security zone, they were beginning to turn around anyway, and the police only apprehended them when Chas stepped out dressed as Osama.

Theoretically they could have kept on going past the third checkpoint (and how is this third checkpoint any better than the first two?) and caused a huge embarrassment – which is why the NSW police are so upset about this. It doesn’t prove their security measures are working at all, and they know it.

$300 million and defeated by a bunch of comedians from the ABC.

Nice.

There has been the usual chorus of righty indignation about another ABC on-air staff member (in this case ABC TV’s Melbourne sports reporter, Angela Pippos) being approached by the ALP to run for state or federal Parliament. And as usual it proves nothing more than the ALP is heading further and further into the world of celebrity politics at the expense of politics about, um, you know, policy.

Pippos has reportedly turned down the offer to run for Williamstown, but in line with ABC policy was forced to take leave as soon as she received the ALP’s offer. This is sensible since the ABC can’t dare show any hint of bias or else Andrew Bolt, Timmeh Blair, Piers Ackerman and Gerard Henderson would gorge themselves on righteousness. But it begs the question: how can a sports reporter show left-wing bias? If anything, the ABC shows a right-wing bias in its sports reporting if this morning’s Radio National piece is anything to go by. Entertaining sports presenter Warwick Hadfield called the AFL corporation the Soviet Communist Football association (or something similar) in a derogatory manner.

Ack! Right-wing bias at the ABC!

The Age and other online news websites have long ago given up placing real news prominently on their front pages; one must now fight through the wire service celebrity “news” sensationalised pap to find any sort of real news. The pessimist in me suspects that page views on these sites must be going up, otherwise the celebrity shite would disappear. The optimist in me hopes that, like me, other online news consumers are fleeing in droves to real news sites such as ABC News Online.

But, hang on, what’s this I see on the ABC News front page this morning?

Oh, for feck’s sake.

(Cross-posted at BoltWatch)

Andrew Bolt bemoans (does he ever do anything but moan?) the “information class talking to itself” while outsiders must “shout to get a word in”:

The number of journalists, for instance, who regularly switch from reporting politics to being politicians or their flunkeys is extraordinary. I speak, of course, as someone who twice worked for Labor himself.

But add to them the other members of this cultural elite – the teachers, preachers, ad men, lawyers, broadcasters, political flacks and other species of word-wranglers – and it’s clear politics is increasingly run by a same-same class of chatterers.

Take Victoria: Our last three premiers have been, in order, a teacher, an ad man, and another teacher. Our last five Opposition leaders include three former teachers and a real estate agent.

It’s the same story around the country. Of our eight state and territory leaders, three once were journalists, two lawyers, one a teacher and two union officials and political advisers. Words are their business.

Too much of this can be suffocating. We have now a collective of politicians whose colleagues and advisers sound just like them, and whose doings are reported by people who sound just like them, too.

Here is the Information Class talking to itself, while outsiders must shout to get in a word.

Bolt’s inference is that only dirty, latte-drinking lefties are members of the information class while poor righties like himself must shout to be heard.

Of course, Bolt has lots of trouble communicating his message to his adoring public. There’s his twice-weekly, full page column in Australia’s largest selling newspaper, his blog, regular appearances on ABC TV’s Insiders, and in the last few days he has featured on Seven’s Sunrise, 2UE with Alan Jones, radio 3AW and radio 6PR. There’s even a rumour — that Bolta is talking up — that he’s about to be given his own show by ABC TV.

Poor Andrew. It must be so hard to make oneself heard above all that lefty latte-sipping.

(Cross-posted at BoltWatch)

Andrew Bolt, after exhaustively examining one transcript, thinks he has proved beyond all doubt that Maxine McKew was biased towards the Labor party while working as a journalist on ABC TV. You see, McKew — wait for it — asked hard questions of politicians appearing on her shows.

How dare she.

Bolta brings us a condensed version of some of the questions she asked John Howard in one interview on 13 August 2005. They were hard. Made Howard squirm. You know, like all leading politicians — regardless of political affiliation — should do when being interrogated by the press on behalf of citizens in a democracy. So in the interest of balance, here is a condensed version of some of the questions she asked now Labor leader Kevin Rudd on 11 August 2003.

Kevin Rudd, first of all to the news out of Brisbane this afternoon, the planning for joint military training for interdiction of — potentially, of course — North Korean vessels. Does the Labor Party support this?

OK, but if both those matters can be dealt with, do you agree with this? Would you agree that we can’t afford to do nothing when it comes to North Korea, particularly in the wake of the news that’s come out of South Korea in the last 24 hours?

But hang on, where is the truth in doubt here? The PM said correctly today that the Government’s case for being part of the coalition did not rest on the uranium question exclusively?

Hang on, Kevin Rudd. At the time when the PM made the statement to Parliament in early February, he was acting on the known information at the time. It wasn’t a month later, it wasn’t until March, rather, this year, that the IAEA went to the UN and said, “These documents are forged,” and equally, the PM today cited the fact that there was separate British intelligence about this.

Again, John Howard said not a key piece of information, he says, that in fact, what ONA had in January was one sentence in an 86-page document.

By the way, you didn’t disagree with that. Alexander Downer said on this program last night there was an international consensus about Saddam’s arsenal and you were part of that?

But can I say that’s a very loose allegation. What is it you are really claiming?

Bloody hell! Kruddy got it real easy there.