Kevin’s weekend-long suggestion box seems to have brought the reform-for-its-own-sake boffins out of the closet: there’s been talk of changing everything, from the Constitution to the flag. Now some are talking about scrapping Advance Australia Fair as the national anthem, even though we’ve only had it officially for a tick over 30 years.

Like many blasé Aussies I’m indifferent to the anthem - I’m not passionately stirred by it but nor do I loathe it. It seems to stack up well against most other national songs. I’ve certainly appreciated it more since Julie Anthony’s stirring rendition of at the Sydney Olympics (viewable on the You Tubes). Changing it would open up one of those ridiculous hornets’ nests: where talkback radio is flooded with blue-rinsers and Valium-happy housewifes; where RSLs buzz and thrum like someone has put Viagra in the cheap beer; where everyone wants a say on something about which they ultimately don’t give a shit. We’ve got enough to do and can do without all of that, thanks. 

What the hell do these change-monsters want to have as our anthem anyway? Grodsophiles may have better suggestions but some could be:

• The Seekers’ I Am Australian?
• Men at Work’s Down Under?
• Keri’s favourite Chizzle tune, Khe Sahn?
• Hot Chili Woman by Noiseworks?
• Something from Chuck A. Spear’s Pernicious Minds setlist?