He’s done this before but this time it looked serious. Our last confirmed sighting of Napoleon was at 6pm on Monday when I considered locking him in the house for the night but let him out for a bit more play before dinner time.

On Tuesday morning he hadn’t returned so we were a bit worried but confident he was just having another night-long adventure. I got home yesterday evening and there was no sign of Napoleon and no dent to his fully stocked food bowl. As Napoleon has never gone away for 24 hours or longer I was extremely worried. I left for the podcast recording with a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Returning home at 9pm last night there was still no sign of Napoleon and by the time McBec and I went to bed near midnight we were ready to accept the worst. We said a prayer to Ceiling Cat and went to sleep. Tellingly, we took Napoleon’s bed off our bed before doing so.

And then at 5am this morning — 36 hours since last leaving the house — Napoleon announced his triumphant return by jumping on the bed and meowing loudly to share with us the almighty stink that he had collected on his excellent adventure. I think he chose to return at such a time because he knew that if a car hadn’t killed him I would, but in the wee hours I was tired and vulnerable.

But how can you stay angry with a cat that missed you so much it followed you around the house like a shadow all morning? (He’s sleeping on my lap as I type this.)

“Don’t be mad with me, Dad. I’m too cute.”

Mind you, if I was home from work today I’d put him in the shower cubicle, dump a bottle of shampoo on him, close the door and turn on the water for 20 minutes.