My big food weakness is chips – the dry, brittle kind in packets. And I’ve tried all da flavours: Plain, Chicken, Barbecue, Cheese & Onion, Sour Cream & Chives, Grilled Steak, Ham & Mustard, Tomato Sauce, Meat Pie & Sauce, even (in the UK) Prawn Cocktail, Marmite and Chicken Tikka. But my favourite remains the traditional Salt & Vinegar. Mmmm…. Salt & Vinegar.

But what about the controversial “Jim Beam Kentucky Straight Cut bourbon-flavoured chips”? I don’t think so. According to reviews they have:

Vague undertones of malty, smoky flavours reminiscent of bourbon, but that’s where the whiskey resemblance ends… Strong acidic aroma and salty on the first taste. After just three of these crisps, mouth feels furry and dry, a bit like the morning after the big night before during which Jim Beam featured heavily… [And] a whopping 2080 kilojoules per packet.

What next? Tobacco-flavoured chips, with delicate overtones of that filthy stench that lingers in your mouth and nostrils into the next day? Stale Piss-flavoured chips to replicate the smell of your clothes after some clumsy drunk spills his pot on you? Headache-flavoured chips to bring on the pounding thud and quenchless dehydration of a searing hangover?

No thanks.

The Age reports today that drinking, then purchasing expensive items online is a larger phenomonen than originally thought. Alcohol is causing people to do irresponisble, crazy things:

‘”When I drink and shop, I always think I am a size smaller and I go for much funkier clothes than my usual black dresses,” Krause says. “I buy plaid or polka dots. I once bought a canary-yellow dress.”‘

Woah, slow down there you twisted sister.

The brother of a friend once bought a fleshlight drunk. Have you ever bought anything you regret?